| 2020-10-08 - 2024-04-24 |
[+ntz] My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (23:09:12 - 23:09:12) |
[+ntz] I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (22:09:11 - 22:09:11) |
[+ntz] "Imagination is more important than knowledge!" -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (21:09:11 - 21:09:11) |
[+ntz] When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 - 2020-10-07 |
[+ntz] Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (19:09:10 - 19:09:10) |
[+ntz] The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (17:09:09 - 17:09:09) |
[+ntz] What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (16:09:10 - 16:09:10) |
[+ntz] Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (15:09:10 - 15:09:10) |
[+ntz] They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning...[picks up his glass of water from the stool]...I like to live on the edge... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (14:09:09 - 14:09:09) |
[+ntz] 2 + 2 = 6 for extremely large values of 2. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 - 2020-10-07 |
[+ntz] On the other hand, you have different fingers. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (12:09:08 - 12:09:08) |
[+ntz] The sky already fell. Now what? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (11:09:07 - 11:09:07) |
[+ntz] I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (10:09:07 - 10:09:07) |
[+ntz] Linux. The choice of a GNU generation Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 - 2020-10-07 |
[+ntz] Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 - 2020-10-07 |
[+ntz] Cause its a jungle out there Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (07:09:07 - 07:09:07) |
[+ntz] COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 - 2020-10-07 |
[+ntz] I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (05:09:06 - 05:09:06) |
[+ntz] I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep." -Steven Wright Littl |
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| 2020-10-07 (04:09:05 - 04:09:05) |
[+ntz] I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (03:09:05 - 03:09:05) |
[+ntz] WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (02:09:05 - 02:09:05) |
[+ntz] I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-07 (01:09:04 - 01:09:04) |
[+ntz] I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 - 2020-10-07 |
[+ntz] I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (23:09:04 - 23:09:04) |
[+ntz] I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (22:09:05 - 22:09:05) |
[+ntz] I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (21:09:04 - 21:09:04) |
[+ntz] If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (19:09:04 - 19:09:04) |
[+ntz] If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (18:09:03 - 18:09:03) |
[+ntz] Music is the art of thinking with sounds. -Jules Combarie Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (17:09:02 - 17:09:02) |
[+ntz] "Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff." -Frank Zappa Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (16:09:03 - 16:09:03) |
[+ntz] INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (14:09:03 - 14:09:03) |
[+ntz] WOMEN.ZIP: A great program, but it doesn't come with documentation... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (13:09:01 - 13:09:01) |
[+ntz] Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (12:09:00 - 12:09:00) |
[+ntz] I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know... my calendar has no sevens on it." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (11:09:01 - 11:09:01) |
[+ntz] Is "tired old cliche" one? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (10:09:01 - 10:09:01) |
[+ntz] Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse. -James Carswell Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (09:09:01 - 09:09:01) |
[+ntz] USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (08:08:59 - 08:08:59) |
[+ntz] The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (07:08:59 - 07:08:59) |
[+ntz] He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (06:09:00 - 06:09:00) |
[+ntz] An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (05:08:58 - 05:08:58) |
[+ntz] I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (04:08:59 - 04:08:59) |
[+ntz] I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (03:08:59 - 03:08:59) |
[+ntz] Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-06 (00:08:58 - 00:08:58) |
[+ntz] When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (12:08:54 - 23:08:57) |
[+ntz] I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (22:08:57 - 22:08:57) |
[+ntz] You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (21:08:56 - 21:08:56) |
[+ntz] Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (20:08:56 - 20:08:56) |
[+ntz] What's another word for Thesaurus? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (19:08:56 - 19:08:56) |
[+ntz] When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (18:08:56 - 18:08:56) |
[+ntz] In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (17:08:55 - 17:08:55) |
[+ntz] The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (16:08:56 - 16:08:56) |
[+ntz] Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (15:08:54 - 15:08:54) |
[+ntz] You cannot mandate productivity, you must provide the tools to let people become their best. -Steve Jobs Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (14:08:55 - 14:08:55) |
[+ntz] To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (13:08:55 - 13:08:55) |
[+ntz] "Friendship is one mind in two bodies."- Mencius Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (11:08:53 - 11:08:53) |
[+ntz] Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (10:08:54 - 10:08:54) |
[+ntz] "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (08:08:52 - 08:08:52) |
[+ntz] I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (07:08:52 - 07:08:52) |
[+ntz] A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (06:08:53 - 06:08:53) |
[+ntz] Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (05:08:52 - 05:08:52) |
[+ntz] The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (04:08:52 - 04:08:52) |
[+ntz] I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (03:08:52 - 03:08:52) |
[+ntz] I am not a perfectionist. My parents were though. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-05 (01:08:51 - 01:08:51) |
[+ntz] "Great spirits have always encounted violent opposition from those with mediocre minds." -albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 - 2020-10-05 |
[+ntz] When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (22:08:53 - 22:08:53) |
[+ntz] If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (21:08:50 - 21:08:50) |
[+ntz] "I'm not young enough to know everything." -J. M. Barrie Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (20:08:51 - 20:08:51) |
[+ntz] [Unix] is not necessarily evil, like OS/2. - Peter Norton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (19:08:49 - 19:08:49) |
[+ntz] Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (18:08:50 - 18:08:50) |
[+ntz] In the dim background of mind we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start. -William James Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (17:08:50 - 17:08:50) |
[+ntz] I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (16:08:48 - 16:08:48) |
[+ntz] A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. -Frank Capra Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (14:08:48 - 14:08:48) |
[+ntz] I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (13:08:48 - 13:08:48) |
[+ntz] Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (12:08:49 - 12:08:49) |
[+ntz] TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (11:08:48 - 11:08:48) |
[+ntz] The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (10:08:48 - 10:08:48) |
[+ntz] Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the driving...every half mile...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip...I don't remember what it was. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (09:08:47 - 09:08:47) |
[+ntz] I plan on living forever. So far, so good. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (08:08:47 - 08:08:47) |
[+ntz] "No man is a failure that has friends." -It's a Wonderful Life Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (07:08:48 - 07:08:48) |
[+ntz] My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (06:08:48 - 06:08:48) |
[+ntz] I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (05:08:48 - 05:08:48) |
[+ntz] I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (04:08:48 - 04:08:48) |
[+ntz] "Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history." -George Bernard Shaw Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (03:08:46 - 03:08:46) |
[+ntz] There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (02:08:47 - 02:08:47) |
[+ntz] I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (01:08:46 - 01:08:46) |
[+ntz] One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak. -G. K. Chesterton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-04 (00:08:46 - 00:08:46) |
[+ntz] When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-03 (23:08:46 - 23:08:46) |
[+ntz] It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-03 (22:08:45 - 22:08:45) |
[+ntz] I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-03 (21:08:45 - 21:08:45) |
[+ntz] I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl. She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on." I said, "Yeah, I know, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-10-03 (20:08:45 - 20:08:45) |
[+ntz] For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-09-28 - 2020-10-03 |
[+ntz] |
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| 2020-09-27 - 2020-09-28 |
[+nt] |
