| 2024-04-19 - 2024-04-20 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - If you drive an old car, people think you're poor. If you drive a really old car, people think you're rich. If you drive a Jeep, you're fucked. |
|
| 2024-04-16 - 2024-04-19 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - OJ Simpson can rest easy now knowing his wife's killer is finally dead. |
|
| 2024-04-11 - 2024-04-16 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - OJ Simpson can rest easy now, knowing his wife's killer is finally dead. |
|
| 2024-04-08 - 2024-04-11 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Tomorrow is the eclipse! The day of the year, predicted hundreds of years ago, when God smites us down for voting for somebody that other people don't like. |
|
| 2024-04-03 - 2024-04-07 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Today is Jane Goodall's 90th birthday. Go apeshit. |
|
| 2024-03-28 - 2024-04-03 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - <@Gothess> HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAZY |
|
| 2024-03-20 - 2024-03-28 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Logically, the existence of Kylo Ren implies the existence of a Kylo Stimpy. |
|
| 2024-03-16 - 2024-03-20 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Happy Birthday, BigJohn42! someone else will insert a cool photo for you here sometime! :* <3 |
|
| 2024-03-12 - 2024-03-16 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Happy belated birthday QuBit. Have an Altema, on the house. |
|
| 2024-03-07 - 2024-03-12 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Happy belated birthday QuBit. Have an Alamo, on the house. |
|
| 2024-03-06 - 2024-03-07 |
|
|
| 2024-03-04 - 2024-03-06 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - According to my taskbar, today is national pistachio day. February is just nuts. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AYUKAWA! :D |
|
| 2024-02-26 - 2024-03-04 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - According to my taskbar, today is national pistachio day. February is just nuts. |
|
| 2024-02-16 - 2024-02-26 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - According to kosmotologists, today is national almond day. Go nuts. |
|
| 2024-02-14 - 2024-02-16 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - It's Valentine's Day, Ash Wednesday, and Hump Day. Go get yourself a piece of ash. |
|
| 2024-02-08 - 2024-02-14 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - This month is FebruAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAry. Remember that opossums are friends. -/- [22:18] <kosmonova> opossums are gross |
|
| 2024-02-05 - 2024-02-08 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - This month is FebruAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAry. Remember that opossums are friends. |
|
| 2024-01-28 - 2024-02-05 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - January is Gothess month. Happy birthday Gothess! |
|
| 2024-01-22 - 2024-01-28 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - January is Gothess month. Sunday is Gothess day. |
|
| 2024-01-18 - 2024-01-22 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - January is Gothess month. Spiral out. Happy birthday tooshosh! Creampies buy one get one free! |
|
| 2024-01-09 - 2024-01-18 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - January is Gothess month. Spiral out. "When one door closes, another door opens." - Boeing |
|
| 2024-01-04 - 2024-01-09 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - January is Gothess month. Spiral out. It's also apparently spaghetti day. Grab a fork and have the tine of your life. |
|
| 2024-01-02 - 2024-01-04 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - January is Gothess month. Spiral out. |
|
| 2023-12-19 - 2024-01-02 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Have yourself a Little Meri` Christmas
Today is Emo day. Cry about it. |
|
| 2023-12-14 - 2023-12-19 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Have yourself a Little Meri` Christmas
Today is Monkey Day. Go spank someone you love. |
|
| 2023-12-13 - 2023-12-14 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Have yourself a Little Meri` Christmas |
|
| 2023-12-06 - 2023-12-13 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - November 14th, 2023: A trail of hot sauce was left on the floor of Ayukawa's office. December 5th, 2023: The carpet was finally shampooed, unsuccessfully. |
|
| 2023-11-21 - 2023-12-06 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - November 14th, 2023: A trail of hot sauce was left on the floor of Ayukawa's office. |
|
| 2023-11-14 - 2023-11-21 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - November 14th, 2013: A trail of hot sauce was left on the floor of Ayukawa's office. |
|
| 2023-11-03 - 2023-11-14 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - It's Pauly Shore Month! Go get some grindage and buff the wood! |
|
| 2023-10-18 - 2023-11-03 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - It's National Meri` Month! January will be International Gothess Month! With tentacles and buttholes! |
|
| 2023-10-16 - 2023-10-18 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - It's National Meri` Month! |
|
| 2023-10-06 - 2023-10-16 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - It's National Meri` Week! |
|
| 2023-10-04 - 2023-10-06 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - It's National Meri` Day! |
|
| 2023-09-29 - 2023-10-04 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - The three sexiest words in the English language: Out For Delivery. |
|
| 2023-09-28 - 2023-09-29 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Pneumonia kills Dumbledore. |
|
| 2023-09-22 - 2023-09-28 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Happy National Ice Cream Cone Day! Go give a lick to something you love! |
|
| 2023-09-18 - 2023-09-22 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Happy National Opossum Day! |
|
| 2023-09-07 - 2023-09-18 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Today's discussions brought to you by the number 2, the letter P, and http://www.fidsah.org/img/spiral.jpg |
|
| 2023-08-27 - 2023-09-07 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - Congratulations to Bob Barker for getting closest to 100 years old without going over. |
|
| 2023-08-22 - 2023-08-27 |
https://www.centralcafe.org - We offer free beer, nudes of Gothess, and false advertising. |
|
| 2023-01-14 - 2023-01-20 |
https://www.centralcafe.org -- LilMiss has been sacked, and the people responsible for putting her in charge have been sacked. |
|
| 2023-01-10 - 2023-01-14 |
LilMiss is in charge until someone else can do something about it. God have mercy on your souls, cunts. |
|
| 2023-01-09 - 2023-01-10 |
Vin is in charge until someone else can do something about it. God have mercy on your souls. |
|
| 2023-01-08 - 2023-01-09 |
Dog food lid backwards spells Dildo of God. |
|
| 2022-05-19 - 2023-01-08 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: IRC is a textually transmitted disease. :: Like wordle?? /msg SplitServ !wordlet |
|
| 2022-05-04 - 2022-05-19 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Like wordle?? /msg SplitServ !wordlet |
|
| 2022-05-03 - 2022-05-04 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: The beach is only place where you can bury a child without getting too suspicious |
|
| 2022-04-22 - 2022-05-03 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Lego people live in a universe made entirely out of their own flesh |
|
| 2021-07-27 - 2021-08-13 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Tell everyone you know about dried grapes. Its all about raisin awareness. |
|
| 2021-05-21 - 2021-07-27 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Honey is the tastiest of the insect vomits we've tasted *so far*. |
|
| 2021-02-19 (18:06:22 - 19:06:23) |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: The H in IRC stands for "Happiness" |
|
| 2020-11-11 - 2020-12-14 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: The bible teaches us to love each other. The Kama Sutra is a little more specific. |
|
| 2020-11-10 - 2020-11-11 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: If cows' milk isn't for humans, why are their udders so suckable? |
|
| 2020-10-30 - 2020-11-10 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: It's not necrophilia if she still lives on in your heart. |
|
| 2020-10-21 - 2020-10-30 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: If a guy has an addition to masturbation, he's gonna either beat it, or beat it. |
|
| 2020-09-11 - 2020-10-21 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Nipples are the body's thermometers. |
|
| 2020-07-14 - 2020-09-11 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: The impossible burger is the strap on of foods, you want the good parts of the meat but with no life behind it. |
|
| 2020-07-08 - 2020-07-14 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Just because something is vegan doesn't mean it's cruelty-free. Take my ex-girlfriend for example. |
|
| 2020-07-01 - 2020-07-08 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Today is Canada Day. Treat your beaver to something nice. |
|
| 2020-06-29 - 2020-07-01 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Happy birthday javavavavagirl |
|
| 2020-06-11 - 2020-06-29 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: COPS has been taken off broadcast, keeping in line with the tradition of the police turning off their cameras. |
|
| 2020-06-08 - 2020-06-11 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Maybe houseflies would live longer than 24 hours if they didn't eat poop. |
|
| 2020-05-08 - 2020-06-08 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Everything becomes more difficult when you really have to pee. |
|
| 2020-05-04 - 2020-05-08 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: An unsharpened pencil is pointless in two different ways |
|
| 2020-04-07 - 2020-05-04 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: LEGO people live in houses made of their own flesh |
|
| 2020-04-06 - 2020-04-07 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: An arms embargo is the only way to put an end to the Thumb Wars |
|
| 2020-03-25 - 2020-04-06 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Breaking News: Prince Charles is isolating at Balmoral with Covid-19. Meanwhile, Prince Andrew is isolating at Windsor with Jennifer, 14. |
|
| 2020-02-24 - 2020-03-25 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: the existence of smooth jazz implies the existence of the secret and elusive crunchy jazz |
|
| 2019-10-09 - 2019-10-21 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: "LMNOP" is the rap section of the alphabet. |
|
| 2019-10-08 - 2019-10-09 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Bone-In Wings is just Chicken-on-the-Cob |
|
| 2019-10-07 - 2019-10-08 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: "It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" is the "Live, Laugh, Love" of alcoholics |
|
| 2019-09-27 - 2019-10-07 |
https://www.centralcafe.org :: Amish girls have no way of knowing if it's a romantic candlelit dinner or just a regular dinner. |
|
| 2019-09-20 - 2019-09-27 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Drums take the most confidence to learn out of any instrument because everyone in your neighborhood can hear how much you suck. |
|
| 2019-09-19 - 2019-09-20 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Arrr. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, ye landlubbers! |
|
| 2019-09-13 - 2019-09-19 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Saturday, Sunday. |
|
| 2019-07-07 - 2019-09-13 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: RIP spk |
|
| 2019-06-26 - 2019-07-07 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Dove's chocolate tastes a lot better than their soap. |
|
| 2019-06-05 - 2019-06-26 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Your nipples are older than your teeth |
|
| 2019-05-20 - 2019-06-05 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: "IRL" is just another way of saying "AFK" |
|
| 2019-05-16 - 2019-05-20 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Libraries were a good start but we need to keep working on the number of places where people aren't allowed to talk. |
|
| 2019-05-14 - 2019-05-16 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef? |
|
| 2019-05-10 - 2019-05-14 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Gonads in the LIGHTNING! In the LIGHTNING! In the RAIN! |
|
| 2019-05-07 - 2019-05-10 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: There is an actual animal that is commonly referred to as a ‘Daddy Long Legs’ and nobody thinks that’s strange |
|
| 2019-05-02 - 2019-05-07 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: There’s a big difference between men and women when they say they finished a whole box of tissues watching that film last night |
|
| 2019-04-30 - 2019-05-02 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Snape kills Dumbledore |
|
| 2019-04-25 - 2019-04-30 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: People accept licking an asshole more than licking a foot. |
|
| 2019-04-08 - 2019-04-25 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Lasers were once a great scientific achievement. Now we use them to play with cats. |
|
| 2019-04-03 - 2019-04-08 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Ravioli are just Italian gushers. |
|
| 2019-04-02 - 2019-04-03 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: You can bang as loud as you want without upsetting the neighbors by playing the GoT theme song beforehand. |
|
| 2019-03-21 - 2019-04-02 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: The first color-blind person probably got into a lot of arguments. |
|
| 2019-03-06 - 2019-03-21 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Remember the Alamo! |
|
| 2019-02-20 - 2019-03-06 |
|
|
| 2019-02-19 - 2019-02-20 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: If you're here, you're probably procrastinating. |
|
| 2019-02-11 - 2019-02-19 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org ::Both sexes can fuck a Pringles can, but neither can do it well. |
|
| 2019-02-06 - 2019-02-11 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Professional wrestling is just gay porn without the sex. |
|
| 2019-01-11 - 2019-02-06 |
New website online: https://www.centralcafe.org :: Seeing as we can't tickle ourselves, we got pretty lucky with masturbation. |
|
| 2019-01-11 (16:10:24 - 16:10:24) |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Seeing as we can't tickle ourselves, we got pretty lucky with masturbation. |
|
| 2018-12-31 - 2019-01-11 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org ::Thanks to the internet, this generation has seen more people's butt holes than every past generation combined. |
|
| 2018-12-25 - 2018-12-31 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Jello is just boneless bones. |
|
| 2018-12-12 - 2018-12-25 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Getting a vasectomy really takes balls. |
|
| 2018-12-07 - 2018-12-12 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: George HW Bush let Jeb be a pallbearer so that he could let him down one last time. |
|
| 2018-11-29 - 2018-12-07 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Cats probably wonder why soda yells "FUCK OFF!" when its opened. |
|
| 2018-11-13 - 2018-11-29 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: It's been 18 years and we STILL don't know who let the dogs out |
|
| 2018-11-05 - 2018-11-13 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Thanks to the Internet, we can see more naked people in 5 minutes than our ancestors saw in their entire lives. |
|
| 2018-10-31 - 2018-11-05 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Cheese is a loaf of milk. |
|
| 2018-10-25 - 2018-10-31 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: May Loki have good morphine, a fast recovery, and the license plate number of the car that hit him |
|
| 2018-10-19 - 2018-10-25 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Imagine if pee was a different color than red. |
|
| 2018-10-18 - 2018-10-19 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Taco Bell doesn't have a ball pit because it's hard to have fun while you're shitting your pants. |
|
| 2018-10-12 - 2018-10-18 |
New website online: http://www.centralcafe.org :: Being fully naked feels less naked than being naked with shoes on |
|
| 2018-10-12 (22:00:05 - 22:00:05) |
Being fully naked feels less naked than being naked with shoes on |
|
| 2018-10-11 - 2018-10-12 |
No drug dealer will waste his drugs giving it to kids concealed as Halloween candy. Except Vin. |
|
| 2018-10-10 - 2018-10-11 |
centralcafe.org newsite coming soon. |
|
| 2018-10-08 - 2018-10-10 |
If your son becomes a priest, do you call him Father? |
|
| 2018-09-21 - 2018-10-08 |
At one point, The Little Mermaid is about a crab pimping out a 16 year old mute. |
|
| 2018-09-17 - 2018-09-21 |
If humans had tails, we would totally turn it into a sex thing. |
|
| 2017-10-26 - 2018-09-17 |
|
|
| 2018-08-31 - 2018-09-17 |
In the 1960s, people fantasized the 21st century would have robotic vacuums, still have cats as pets, and some visionaries might have even predicted on-demand video. But nobody could have predicted the 21st century would have thousands of on-demand videos depicting cats riding on robotic vacuums. |
|
| 2018-08-18 - 2018-08-31 |
Scramble is back online because Loki` finally admitted he's gay for ouch. |
|
| 2018-08-02 - 2018-08-18 |
Scramble is offline because you touch yourself inappropriately at night thinking about Joan Rivers. |
|
| 2018-07-16 - 2018-08-02 |
The concept of “the best time to look for a new job is while you already have one” does not apply well to relationships. |
|
| 2018-07-11 - 2018-07-16 |
The most unrealistic thing about Superman is that he actually bothers going to work. |
|
| 2018-06-29 - 2018-07-11 |
It's possible that you've drank water that you've already drank before. Happy birthday javagirl. These topics are not related. |
|
| 2018-06-22 - 2018-06-29 |
Anything's a boomerang if you throw it straight up. |
|
| 2018-06-08 - 2018-06-22 |
Hell's Kitchen Season 13, Now Starring Anthony Bourdain |
|
| 2018-06-07 - 2018-06-08 |
Maybe the grass seems greener on the other side because you’re not over there smoking it. |
|
| 2018-05-24 - 2018-06-07 |
Maybe the grass seems greener on the other side because you’re not over there fucking it up. |
|
| 2018-05-22 - 2018-05-24 |
Thoughts and Prayers: Adorable, like cake in a crisis. |
|
| 2018-05-08 - 2018-05-22 |
If you play Jeopardy backwards, you get very unhelpful answers to very basic questions. |
|
| 2018-05-04 - 2018-05-08 |
Double-ended dildos are just female-to-female adapters. |
|
| 2018-05-02 - 2018-05-04 |
Boobs. |
|
| 2018-04-02 - 2018-05-02 |
We don't know if Mrs. Incredible is naturally busty or if she just morphs her body to be that way |
|
| 2018-03-29 - 2018-04-02 |
Whomever coined the phrase "shit hitting the fan" must've had one hell of a bad experience. |
|
| 2018-03-14 - 2018-03-29 |
Between it being "Pi Day" and Stephen Hawking dying, please don't forget it's also "Steak and a Blowjob Day" |
|
| 2018-03-05 - 2018-03-14 |
We live in a world where people lick other people's buttholes, but it is still considered nasty to double dip chips. |
|
| 2018-03-04 - 2018-03-05 |
Happy Birthday Jeff! I think my wife has weekly classes with the devil on how to be more evil. Not sure what she charges him though. |
|
| 2018-02-23 - 2018-03-04 |
I think my wife has weekly classes with the devil on how to be more evil. Not sure what she charges him though. |
|
| 2018-02-14 - 2018-02-23 |
If an apple a day can keep the doctor away, imagine what kind of fun you can have with a bushel of apples and the doctor's wife |
|
| 2018-02-08 - 2018-02-14 |
Thanks to Elon Musk, the chances of getting into a car accident in space are greater than zero. |
|
| 2018-02-07 - 2018-02-08 |
The first guy to try cow's milk must've been a fucking weirdo. |
|
| 2018-02-01 - 2018-02-07 |
My greatest fear is dying alone. That's why I got my piloting license. |
|
| 2018-01-28 - 2018-02-01 |
Schrödinger's cat has been in that box for 80 years. It's fucking dead.
Happy birthday Aliz |
|
| 2018-01-25 - 2018-01-28 |
Schrödinger's cat has been in that box for 80 years. It's fucking dead. |
|
| 2018-01-10 - 2018-01-25 |
yokwe's mother used to tuck him in every night. She REALLY wanted a daughter. |
|
| 2018-01-09 - 2018-01-10 |
We're not experts in masturbation, but we hold our own. |
|
| 2018-01-05 - 2018-01-09 |
In 2016, celebrities died and their legacies touched people. In 2017, celebrities touched people and their legacies died. |
|
| 2018-01-04 - 2018-01-05 |
I get that #metoo is supposed to be empowering, but they probably should've gone with something other than "pound me too" |
|
| 2017-12-15 - 2018-01-04 |
The biggest difference betwen Ajit Pai and Adolf Hitler is that Hitler was doing what he thought was best for his country. |
|
| 2017-12-13 - 2017-12-15 |
Doug Jones won by such a small margin that Roy Moore plans to fuck it. |
|
| 2017-12-12 - 2017-12-13 |
Perhaps birds are actually small robots that covertly recharge by sitting on power lines. |
|
| 2017-12-07 - 2017-12-12 |
It's doubtful that Roy Moore will win the Senate race. He'll probably come in a little behind. |
|
| 2017-12-05 - 2017-12-07 |
Soon all Hollywood Movies will start having a disclaimer "No Humans Were Raped in the Making of This Film" |
|
| 2017-12-01 - 2017-12-05 |
There's no biological need for a penis to be able to fit in a mouth. It's just a happy coincidence |
|
| 2017-11-29 - 2017-12-01 |
Snails and slugs would be scary as fuck if they were fast. Oh wait: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjHMGSI_h0Q |
|
| 2017-11-28 - 2017-11-29 |
Snails and slugs would be scary as fuck if they were fast. |
|
| 2017-11-27 - 2017-11-28 |
Using whipped cream in the bedroom is a lot less sexy when you're lactose intolerant. |
|
| 2017-11-08 - 2017-11-27 |
Without arabs we never would've had 9/11. It would still be IX/XI. https://www.change.org/p/dalnet-remeve-ayukawa-oline |
|
| 2017-11-07 - 2017-11-08 |
|
|
| 2017-11-03 - 2017-11-07 |
If I had 50¢ for every time someone told me I suck at math, I'd have $7.20. https://www.change.org/p/dalnet-remeve-ayukawa-oline |
|
| 2017-11-02 - 2017-11-03 |
Perhaps Chris Hansen should host the Oscars this year. https://www.change.org/p/dalnet-remeve-ayukawa-oline |
|
| 2017-11-01 - 2017-11-02 |
Long live the British Royal Satanists! (And their little stubby-legged dogs, too!) https://www.change.org/p/dalnet-remeve-ayukawa-oline |
|
| 2017-11-01 - 2017-11-02 |
Long live OUR British Royal Satanists! (And their little stubby-legged dogs, too!) https://www.change.org/p/dalnet-remeve-ayukawa-oline |
|
| 2017-10-17 - 2017-10-26 |
Porn stars must make less money than we think. They never have the money to pay for the pizza. |
|
| 2017-10-09 - 2017-10-17 |
What if Mike is really short for Micycle? |
|
| 2017-10-06 - 2017-10-09 |
Beef jerky is nothing more than cow raisins. |
|
| 2017-10-03 - 2017-10-06 |
Tom Petty was reported dead, then not dead, which makes sense because you can stand him up at the gates of hell but he won't back down. |
|
| 2017-09-28 - 2017-10-03 |
RIP Hugh Hefner, a man who died doing what he loved most... Having a stroke. |
|
| 2017-09-27 - 2017-09-28 |
When you say "poop", your mouth moves in the same way your anus does when you poop. The same goes for "explosive diarrhea". |
|
| 2017-09-20 - 2017-09-27 |
If Hurricane José and Hurricane María collide, the resultant hurricane should be named Hurricane Jesús |
|
| 2017-09-19 - 2017-09-20 |
I guess all the Toys R Us kids finally DID grow up. |
|
| 2017-09-08 - 2017-09-19 |
With the rise of self-driving vehicles these days, it's only a matter of time before there's a country song where the guy's truck leaves him. |
|
| 2017-09-07 - 2017-09-08 |
The biggest step in a new relationship isn't the first kiss, it's the first fart. |
|
| 2017-08-29 - 2017-09-07 |
During the Nineties, "Flipping mice over and picking the hair off their balls" went from being a bizarre fetish to a normal computer maintenance chore. |
|
| 2017-08-25 - 2017-08-29 |
If I were a ghost, I would haunt people by knocking on their door as soon as they started masturbating. |
|
| 2017-08-24 - 2017-08-25 |
They say dog is man's best friend, but I don't even have enemies who would stare directly into my eyes as they shit on my carpet.
Happy birthday LilMiss |
|
| 2017-08-18 - 2017-08-23 |
They say dog is man's best friend, but I don't even have enemies who would stare directly into my eyes as they shit on my carpet.
RIP sfx321 http://blog.radiomeltdown.net/2017/07/rip-sfx321.html |
|
| 2017-08-11 - 2017-08-18 |
Typically, a buttload of dildos is only one dildo.
RIP sfx321 http://blog.radiomeltdown.net/2017/07/rip-sfx321.html |
|
| 2017-07-31 - 2017-08-11 |
After finishing school with a degree in a computer related field, everyone I know and many that I don't have asked me to do free work on their computers. Now I wish I had gone to school for gynecology instead.
RIP sfx321 http://blog.radiomeltdown.net/2017/07/rip-sfx321.html |
|
| 2017-07-31 (15:06:18 - 15:06:18) |
After finishing school with a degree in a computer related field, everyone I know and many that I don't have asked me to do free work on their computers. Now I wish I had gone to school for gynecology instead. |
|
| 2017-07-26 - 2017-07-31 |
I got caught masturbating to an optical illusion. All I could do just blurt out "It's not what it looks like!"
Happy belated birthday Meri` |
|
| 2017-07-21 - 2017-07-26 |
I got caught masturbating to an optical illusion. All I could do just blurt out "It's not what it looks like!" |
|
| 2017-07-06 - 2017-07-21 |
How does Ariel from The Little Mermaid decide which creatures are friends and which ones are her bra? |
|
| 2017-06-26 - 2017-07-06 |
You can't spell "advertisements" without semen between the tits. |
|
| 2017-06-16 - 2017-06-26 |
My mouth has been on every single orifice my wife has, yet I still wipe the neck of any bottle of drink we share. |
|
| 2017-06-12 - 2017-06-16 |
Making your own beer is like making your own porn. You can let an expert make it at a higher quality for you, but making it yourself is much more satisfying. Both bother the wife a little. |
|
| 2017-06-06 - 2017-06-12 |
I never liked the fact that X-Men would only show the mutants who had useful powers. They never talk about the struggle of the guy who’s right arm is a fully functional horse penis from the elbow down or the woman with the head, neck, and intelligence of a goose. |
|
| 2017-05-31 - 2017-06-06 |
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump dropped his phone mid-tweet. Analysis starts at 9pm EST. Film at 11. |
|
| 2017-05-23 - 2017-05-31 |
It seems like our best and brightest are shaping fictional worlds, while our worst and dullest are shaping the real one. |
|
| 2017-05-22 - 2017-05-23 |
I bet opera singers have beautiful sounding orgasms. |
|
| 2017-05-19 - 2017-05-22 |
Congress will never impeach Donald Trump, because Republicans are insistent that every baby be carried to full term. |
|
| 2017-05-17 - 2017-05-19 |
Congress will never impeach Donald Trump, because Republicans are insistant that every baby be carried to full term. |
|
| 2017-05-12 - 2017-05-17 |
Have we as a species just universally agreed that Snoop Dogg can hit a blunt whenever and wherever he wants? |
|
| 2017-05-11 - 2017-05-12 |
Children play with realistic dolls of baby humans all the time, but if I want a realistic doll of an adult human I'm the weird one. |
|
| 2017-05-05 - 2017-05-11 |
Imagine being completely naked in a room full of people who speak a different language and they all want to touch you. That is the life of a dog. |
|
| 2017-04-28 (12:45:11 - 20:45:14) |
CPR is literally trying to beat the death out of someone
Happy birthday lulu`! Your multipass is in the mail. |
|
| 2017-04-26 - 2017-04-28 |
CPR is literally trying to beat the death out of someone |
|
| 2017-04-21 - 2017-04-26 |
You can't lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't return, you've just lost a normal pigeon. |
|
| 2017-04-19 - 2017-04-21 |
Breaking News: Aaron Hernandez is out indefinitely with a severe neck injury |
|
| 2017-04-10 - 2017-04-19 |
Altoids have been produced since the 1920's and yet we're still curious about their strength |
|
| 2017-04-05 - 2017-04-10 |
People who say "I'm not made of money!" don't seem to be aware of the prices human organs can fetch on the black market.
Happy Birthday ouch |
|
| 2017-04-05 (14:48:08 - 14:48:08) |
People who say "I'm not made of money!" don't seem to be aware of the prices human organs can fetch on the black market. |
|
| 2017-03-31 - 2017-04-05 |
If Gordon Ramsay was eaten by cannibals he'd probably be more disgusted at how they cooked him than the fact that they cooked him at all. |
|
| 2017-03-28 - 2017-03-31 |
Maybe if everybody emails a copy of the US Constitution to somebody else, someone at the NSA will finally read it. |
|
| 2017-03-28 (15:06:36 - 16:06:33) |
Water is just a portal to a universe where you can fly, but you can't breathe. |
|
| 2017-03-23 - 2017-03-28 |
Tinder is the opposite of porn site advertisements. There actually are a ton of hot singles in my area, but none of them are interested in me. |
|
| 2017-03-23 (15:06:01 - 17:06:17) |
We make fun of people Instagramming their food, but lest we forget that, during the Renaissance, lots of artists were just painting bowls of fruit. |
|
| 2017-03-21 - 2017-03-23 |
We don't have voluntary control over our internal organs because our brains don't trust us enough to keep ourselves alive. |
|
| 2017-03-17 - 2017-03-21 |
Anyone who talks about "the luck of the Irish" doesn't know much about Irish history... |
|
| 2017-03-14 - 2017-03-17 |
Happy Steak & A Blowjob Day
http://imgur.com/a/f08zW |
|
| 2017-03-12 - 2017-03-14 |
If your nick is John68 I assume you're 49 years old, if it's John69 I assume you're 12.
http://imgur.com/a/f08zW |
|
| 2017-03-10 - 2017-03-12 |
If your nick is John68 I assume you're 49 years old, if it's John69 I assume you're 12. |
|
| 2017-03-06 - 2017-03-10 |
Duct tape can turn any "no, no, no" into an "mmm, mmm, mmm" |
|
| 2017-03-01 - 2017-03-06 |
I will lay in bed all morning uncomfortably holding in pee to avoid being uncomfortable for two minutes to just get up and pee. |
|
| 2017-02-21 - 2017-03-01 |
Stephen Hawking is like a gamer who put all of his skill points in intelligence. |
|
| 2017-02-14 - 2017-02-21 |
When I was a kid I thought I could eat pizza every single day and not get sick of it and now that I'm an adult it turns out I was right. |
|
| 2017-02-07 - 2017-02-14 |
Taylor Swift has tons of songs about being broken up with, but zero songs about blowjobs. You do the math. |
|
| 2017-02-06 - 2017-02-07 |
If humans can't fully communicate with any other species on earth, then why do we think we would be able to communicate with aliens if they visited? |
|
| 2017-02-02 - 2017-02-06 |
A lot of people like big butts. Sir Mixalot's inability to lie is much more interesting. |
|
| 2017-02-01 - 2017-02-02 |
Old peoples' skin sags because it's being pulled toward the underworld. |
|
| 2017-01-27 - 2017-02-01 |
Donald Trump is not a sex-offender. He is an Alternative Romantic. |
|
| 2017-01-24 - 2017-01-27 |
A limbo champion walked into a bar. He was immediately disqualified. |
|
| 2017-01-20 - 2017-01-24 |
Mr. Peanut is an artistocrat that sells dead, dry roasted members of his own species. |
|
| 2017-01-19 - 2017-01-20 |
Are Gremlins all synchronized regarding the "no food after midnight" rule or do they adjust to their own timezone? |
|
| 2017-01-17 - 2017-01-19 |
Technically, the only things anybody really enjoys are serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. |
|
| 2017-01-17 (15:15:26 - 15:15:26) |
Technically, the only things anybody really enjoys are seratonin, dopamine, and endorphins. |
|
| 2017-01-04 - 2017-01-17 |
In a binary world, there are 10 sides to every story. |
|
| 2016-12-29 - 2017-01-04 |
This channel does not qualify as a "safe space".
The views and opinions expressed in this channel may not represent the views and opinions of the person speaking them.
THIS NETWORK IS BLOWJOBS |
|
| 2016-12-28 - 2016-12-29 |
When medication says "do not operate heavy machinery", they probably mean cars, but I immediately think of forklifts.
The views and opinions expressed in this channel may not represent the views and opinions of the person speaking them.
THIS NETWORK IS BLOWJOBS |
|
| 2016-12-27 - 2016-12-28 |
Spoiler Alert: Carrie Fisher dies at the end of Rogue One.
The views and opinions expressed in this channel may not represent the views and opinions of the person speaking them.
THIS NETWORK IS BLOWJOBS |
|
| 2016-12-26 - 2016-12-27 |
The views and opinions expressed in this channel may not represent the views and opinions of the person speaking them. THIS NETWORK IS BLOWJOBS |
|
| 2016-12-20 - 2016-12-26 |
The views and opinions expressed in this channel may not represent the views and opinions of the person speaking them. |
|
| 2016-12-19 - 2016-12-20 |
A very long time ago, exactly one cat died from being fed four minutes past feeding time. Cats have told their children of this for 3,000 generations. |
|
| 2016-12-13 - 2016-12-19 |
You can pet a dog for hours and no one bats an eye but if you rub your hand on a couch because it feels good people will think you are tripping |
|
| 2016-12-05 - 2016-12-13 |
A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a moving ceiling fan gathers dust like a motherfucker |
|
| 2016-12-02 - 2016-12-05 |
If you ever feel mad that you missed out on something cool, just remember that Michael Collins flew all the way to the moon on Apollo 11, just to stay in orbit while Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became the first humans to walk on the moon |
|
| 2016-12-01 - 2016-12-02 |
Walking is just a controlled loss of balance. |
|
| 2016-11-30 - 2016-12-01 |
It doesn't kill people to say hello once in a while! <- Unless you're in a room with a guy banging a machete on the table yelling "I'm murdering the next motherfucker to speak!" |
|
| 2016-11-30 (14:09:44 - 15:09:45) |
It doesn't kill people to say hello once in a while! |
|
| 2016-11-29 - 2016-11-30 |
Imagine how terrifying fire would be if it wasn't a source of light. |
|
| 2016-11-27 - 2016-11-29 |
Poor Fidel Castro... He spent his entire life fighting capitalism, and died on Black Friday. |
|
| 2016-11-26 - 2016-11-27 |
Say what you want about pedophiles, at least they slow down in school zones! |
|
| 2016-11-22 - 2016-11-26 |
Say what you want about the craftsmanship of the Titanic, but its been at the bottom of the ocean for all these years, and the pool is still full! |
|
| 2016-11-17 - 2016-11-22 |
Bishop Brian Tamaki has blamed gay people for New Zealand earthquakes. How hard does he think they were ramming each other?! |
|
| 2016-11-16 - 2016-11-17 |
SplitServ and ouch have gone out to protest Donald Trump. They should be back tomorrow. |
|
| 2016-11-15 - 2016-11-16 |
If I told you that it featured themes of bestiality, stockholm syndrome, slave labor, and a lynching, you would never guess 'Beauty and the Beast' is a kids movie. |
|
| 2016-11-09 - 2016-11-15 |
Linus was right! The great pumpkin IS real, and just became president of the United States. |
|
| 2016-11-09 (00:10:42 - 18:10:41) |
Ditcher, Quick, & Hyde. Divorce Lawyers. |
|
| 2016-11-07 - 2016-11-08 |
If you ever think your job is pointless, just remember that right now somebody is installing turn signals onto a BMW. |
|
| 2016-10-28 - 2016-11-07 |
If Hillary Clinton is elected, I certainly hope she gets better interns than her husband did. His just sucked. |
|
| 2016-11-04 - 2016-11-05 |
If Hillary Clinton is elected, I certainly hope she gets better interns than her husband did. His just sucked. -/- Happy Birthday Faff! |
|
| 2016-10-26 - 2016-10-28 |
Losing your car keys in your house is the adult version of being grounded until you clean. |
|
| 2016-10-25 - 2016-10-26 |
The one thing porn and football have in common is ass slapping when someone is doing an outstanding job. |
|
| 2016-10-19 - 2016-10-25 |
A screenshot of you playing the original Super Mario Bros. on your computer is thousands of times larger then the game itself.
Happy birthday Rand. |
|
| 2016-10-18 - 2016-10-19 |
You never wash your belt, yet it's one of the first things you touch after wiping your ass. Ponder that for a moment. |
|
| 2016-10-16 - 2016-10-18 |
October 13th is No Bra Day. Liberate yourself. Send proof to Ayukawa. (.)(.) HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOKI!! <3 |
|
| 2016-10-13 - 2016-10-16 |
October 13th is No Bra Day. Liberate yourself. Send proof to Ayukawa. (.)(.) |
|
| 2016-10-12 - 2016-10-13 |
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, isn't EVERY country a third-world country? |
|
| 2016-10-10 - 2016-10-12 |
There's a huge difference between being a dick and being a pussy, but there's no difference between being a dick and being a cunt. |
|
| 2016-10-05 - 2016-10-10 |
Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, thank goodness it's the yawn. |
|
| 2016-10-04 - 2016-10-05 |
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating. |
|
| 2016-09-29 - 2016-10-04 |
I just found out I am color blind. The diagnosis came right out of the green. |
|
| 2016-09-28 - 2016-09-29 |
We all wear masks, metaphorically speaking. |
|
| 2016-09-27 - 2016-09-28 |
That annoying scramble bug where it occasionally ignores the right answer, has been fixed thanks to HaYaa :) |
|
| 2016-09-27 (17:15:02 - 18:15:01) |
That annoying scramble bug where it occasionally ignores the right answer has been fixed thanks to HaYaa :) |
|
| 2016-09-26 - 2016-09-27 |
Pets are nothing more than kidnapped animals with Stockholm Syndrome. |
|
| 2016-09-22 - 2016-09-26 |
To the person who invented zero: Thanks for nothing. |
|
| 2016-09-21 - 2016-09-22 |
Mona Lisa was the first Kardashian, famous for nothing. |
|
| 2016-09-19 - 2016-09-21 |
"Where are you?" is probably the LEAST used phrase in sign language. |
|
| 2016-09-13 - 2016-09-19 |
The fact more people die from vending machines falling on them than from shark attacks is supposed to make me less afraid of sharks. Instead I've developed an irrational fear of vending machines. |
|
| 2016-09-12 - 2016-09-13 |
Think about how dangerous and bizarre Walmart would be if it were as poorly lit as Hollister. |
|
| 2016-09-08 - 2016-09-12 |
If the Mayans had ended their calendar in 2016 instead of 2012, it would have been a lot more believable. |
|
| 2016-09-06 - 2016-09-08 |
Remember, if you suddenly shrunk down to the size of a rodent, your cat wouldn't hesitate for a second before eating you. |
|
| 2016-08-29 - 2016-09-06 |
I used to worry that I was spending my life flitting from idea to idea, learning just enough to sound credible but with no real depth of knowledge. Turns out I was just training for IRC. |
|
| 2016-08-25 - 2016-08-29 |
7 movies and R2-D2 never said a single thing that didn't get censored. |
|
| 2016-08-24 - 2016-08-25 |
I bet I'd be more productive if my to-do lists were labeled as "Active Quests" HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILMISS!!! <3 <3 <3 |
|
| 2016-08-23 - 2016-08-24 |
I bet I'd be more productive if my to-do lists were labeled as "Active Quests" |
|
| 2016-08-18 - 2016-08-23 |
Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is going to suck. |
|
| 2016-08-17 - 2016-08-18 |
Massaging shower heads are assholes. They promise to make you all clean and relaxed, but then they go fuck your girlfriend. |
|
| 2016-08-15 - 2016-08-17 |
Having sex with a horse is legal in more states than smoking Marijuana. God bless America. |
|
| 2016-08-11 - 2016-08-15 |
If ignorance is bliss, why do all the Trump supporters seem so angry?! |
|
| 2016-08-08 - 2016-08-11 |
Dogs are just wolves who sold out to The Man. |
|
| 2016-08-08 (05:05:03 - 16:05:07) |
It's kinda weird that we can't tickle ourselves, but things would be much worse if we couldn't give ourselves orgasms. |
|
| 2016-08-03 - 2016-08-08 |
IRC has made me love people I've never met. Facebook has made me hate people I've known my entire life. |
|
| 2015-05-21 - 2016-08-03 |
|
|
| 2016-08-02 - 2016-08-03 |
If I die in my sleep people will say "at least he died doing something he loved". |
|
| 2016-07-29 - 2016-08-02 |
I am just a penis. The rest of me is just there to make sure my penis survives long enough to make more penises. |
|
| 2016-07-28 - 2016-07-29 |
I hope I'm nowhere near a vibrator factory when the machines decide to rise up against the humans. |
|
| 2016-07-27 - 2016-07-28 |
I'm not saying that David Bowie was holding the world together, but take a look around... !top5 and !top10 now work for scramble. |
|
| 2016-07-25 - 2016-07-27 |
In Grand Theft Auto, you only get shot if actually brandishing a weapon or comitting a crime. GTA is less violent than real life. !top5 and !top10 now work for scramble. |
|
| 2016-07-22 - 2016-07-25 |
The next time you kiss somebody, just remember that you're basically forming a long tube with an asshole at each end. |
|
| 2016-07-22 (17:26:02 - 17:26:02) |
According to the Bible, abstinence isn't 100% effective against pregnancy. |
|
| 2016-07-21 - 2016-07-22 |
Cinderella must have a hard time shopping for shoes if literally no one else in the kingdom had her size |
|
| 2016-07-20 - 2016-07-21 |
You could've possibly avoided future spankings as a child by saying "Spank me harder, Daddy" after the first one. |
|
| 2016-07-19 - 2016-07-20 |
My 15 year old self would be appalled to hear how many times I've chosen sleep over sex. |
|
| 2016-07-18 - 2016-07-19 |
Pokeman Go is the greatest thing to happen to America's knowledge of the metric system since drugs. |
|
| 2016-07-15 - 2016-07-18 |
As a Pink Floyd fan, nothing angers me quite as much as seeing a vegetarian eating pudding. |
|
| 2016-07-12 - 2016-07-15 |
Heat, Pressure, and Time. The three things that make a diamond, are also the three things that make a waffle. |
|
| 2016-07-11 - 2016-07-12 |
Dildo. The original selfie-stick. |
|
| 2016-07-07 - 2016-07-10 |
Fifteen years ago, if anyone told me I'd spend so much time reading the encyclopaedia, by choice and for so many random entries, I wouldn't have believed them. Then came Wikipedia. |
|
| 2016-07-06 - 2016-07-07 |
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you, asshole. |
|
| 2016-07-05 - 2016-07-06 |
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great quote, but it's not the best way to tell your son you're putting him up for adoption. |
|
| 2016-07-04 - 2016-07-05 |
Happy 4th of July for those of you with freedom! |
|
| 2016-06-30 - 2016-07-04 |
Nipples are great! Without them, tits would be pointless! |
|
| 2016-06-30 (13:07:55 - 18:07:57) |
Right now, someone in the United States has no clue that this is his last weekend with all 10 fingers. |
|
| 2016-06-29 - 2016-06-30 |
Mario Kart should have been named Mario Speedwagon. |
|
| 2016-06-28 - 2016-06-29 |
Stop drop and roll training in school led me to believe I'd be catching fire a lot more often. |
|
| 2016-06-26 - 2016-06-28 |
Sesame Street taught me a lot of things, except the one thing I kept asking about... How to get there. |
|
| 2016-06-23 - 2016-06-25 |
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm using my hand, but thinking of you. |
|
| 2016-06-22 - 2016-06-23 |
Dogs are great because they could rip you apart and eat you but they don't because they want belly rubs instead. |
|
| 2016-06-22 (19:25:55 - 19:25:55) |
Today is international yoga day. Get bent. ***HAPPY BDAY YOKWENESS!!** https://i.redd.it/7ujj09dnwt4x.jpg |
|
| 2016-06-21 - 2016-06-22 |
Today is international yoga day. Get bent. ***HAPPY BDAY YOKWENESS!!** |
|
| 2016-06-21 (17:25:50 - 17:25:50) |
Today is international yoga day. Get bent. |
|
| 2016-06-20 - 2016-06-21 |
Barn Owls must've been stoked when the barn was finally invented. |
|
| 2016-06-20 (05:25:43 - 05:25:43) |
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. |
|
| 2016-06-19 - 2016-06-20 |
If we could predict the day of an earthquake but not the the exact time, those days would be great to play an intense game of Jenga. |
|
| 2016-06-17 - 2016-06-18 |
It feels unfair that women's breasts get bigger when they gain weight but that the same thing doesn't happen to my penis. |
|
| 2016-06-16 - 2016-06-17 |
You can tell a lot about a woman by her ankles. For example, if they're on your shoulders, she probably likes you. |
|
| 2016-06-15 - 2016-06-16 |
Remember, premarital sex isn't really premarital sex if you never get married. |
|
| 2016-06-14 - 2016-06-15 |
* Ayukawa has kicked ds_ from #centralcafe ( I swear to god if you ruin my setup again I will rape your ballsack with a cheesegrater ) |
|
| 2016-06-14 (00:25:28 - 03:25:09) |
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy feels a lot less science fiction-y when you realize the guidebook is really just a smartphone |
|
| 2016-06-10 - 2016-06-13 |
If all men get a boner every morning, then it means humanity has been doing an unending boner wave around the earth since forever. |
|
| 2016-06-08 - 2016-06-10 |
This channel just spent over ten minutes discussing the abilities and advantages of a fart wizard. |
|
| 2016-06-08 (17:24:40 - 17:24:40) |
All my life I've wanted to shake Muhammad Ali's hand. Unfortunately Parkinson's beat me to it. |
|
| 2016-06-07 - 2016-06-08 |
We named all the other planets after gods, then went and named our own "dirt". |
|
| 2016-06-06 - 2016-06-07 |
According to common wisdom it's fine to go to a bar, get drunk, meet a stranger, take her to your home, have sex, and fall asleep together, but very unsafe to tell someone on the internet your last name. |
|
| 2016-06-04 - 2016-06-06 |
"It's Raining Men," and "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor," are about the same event, but wildly different perspectives. |
|
| 2016-06-03 - 2016-06-04 |
Batman only fights crime at night because otherwise he would have weird and obvious tanlines. |
|
| 2016-06-03 (08:24:11 - 11:24:13) |
LaoTzu is looking for a new shoulder. Applicants will be answered in the order in which they were received. |
|
| 2016-06-02 - 2016-06-03 |
Most of the noises that you hear outside in rural areas are animals screaming "please fuck me!" as loud as they can. |
|
| 2016-06-01 - 2016-06-02 |
If Elon Musk really is our Tony Stark, we should trap him in a cave until he creates a fusion reactor |
|
| 2016-05-31 - 2016-06-01 |
MOO |
|
| 2016-05-29 - 2016-05-31 |
The penis is essentially a hydraulic sperm-cannon made of meat. |
|
| 2016-05-25 - 2016-05-29 |
We are all Jeff here. |
|
| 2016-05-24 - 2016-05-25 |
We live in a world where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.. |
|
| 2016-05-24 (12:43:39 - 15:43:39) |
Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman. |
|
| 2016-05-23 - 2016-05-24 |
Happy 21st birthday Awena! We love you!!! <3 |
|
| 2016-05-20 - 2016-05-23 |
And on the twentieth day of the fifth month of the year two thousand sixteen, we lost our friend Gothess for she hath discovered reddit. |
|
| 2016-05-19 - 2016-05-20 |
My dog must think the pizza man is my owner, because he brings ME food. |
|
| 2016-05-18 - 2016-05-19 |
If Jesus were to enter a church today, the crosses would probably trigger his PTSD. |
|
| 2016-05-16 - 2016-05-18 |
"My two cents" has been in use since the twenties but has never been adjusted for inflation; opinions are becoming increasingly worthless. |
|
| 2016-05-13 - 2016-05-16 |
Would anal bleaching be considering changing your ringtone? |
|
| 2016-05-09 - 2016-05-13 |
This may be a channel full of boobs, but it's a channel full of nice boobs! Boobs! (o)(o) |
|
| 2016-05-09 (15:42:12 - 17:42:10) |
Yo momma so fat, when she fall outta bed, she fall out on both sides! |
|
| 2016-05-08 - 2016-05-09 |
#centralcafe What do Lego, Oreo, and Deadpool have in common? |
|
| 2016-05-06 - 2016-05-08 |
Happy b-day, LaoTzu :: LEGO and OREO |
|
| 2016-05-06 (03:41:46 - 14:41:52) |
Happy b-day, LaoTzu, and happy Cinco de Mayo, the rest of you! |
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| 2016-05-03 - 2016-05-06 |
We will never know world peace until three people can simultaneously look each other straight in the eye |
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| 2016-05-05 (15:41:46 - 19:42:08) |
[5] We will never know world peace until three people can simultaneously look each other straight in the eye |
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| 2016-05-03 (20:41:59 - 20:41:59) |
I broke scramble. It'll be back tonight. |
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| 2016-05-02 - 2016-05-03 |
We will never know world peace until three people can simultaneously look each other straight in the eye. |
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| 2016-05-02 (19:41:30 - 19:41:30) |
Tits or GTFO. |
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| 2016-04-28 - 2016-05-02 |
<CalicoNinja> i love your array of balls |
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| 2016-04-28 (12:59:47 - 16:59:42) |
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| 2016-04-28 (03:59:39 - 11:59:44) |
It's weird that nipples are the most "obscene" part of the boob when that's the part everyone has, while the part unique to women, the round squishy part, is pretty much fair game. Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-26 - 2016-04-28 |
There was a completely rational and logical explanation for everything on Scooby-Doo, except for why the dog could talk. Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-26 - 2016-04-27 |
Do we want a scramble bot in here? /msg Ayukawa !yes or !no
There was a completely rational and logical explanation for everything on Scooby-Doo, except for why the dog could talk. Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-26 (12:59:30 - 14:59:27) |
Yes, SplitServ will give a lengthy introduction at some point. Just ignore it. Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-22 - 2016-04-26 |
[16:35:50] <SplitServ> taco intercourse Does Medusa have pubes? And if so, are they also snakes? Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-22 (15:59:06 - 19:59:04) |
Does Medusa have pubes? And if so, are they also snakes? Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-21 - 2016-04-22 |
Took my dog to a bonfire and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realized he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys. Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-20 - 2016-04-21 |
"God works in mysterious ways" is basically religion's way of saying "Shit happens." Tetrinet Client: http://tetrinet.info/download/tnet113.zip |
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| 2016-04-20 (14:58:58 - 21:58:56) |
"God works in mysterious ways" is basically religion's way of saying "Shit happens." |
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| 2016-04-18 - 2016-04-20 |
In limbo, when you set the bar low, you are really setting the bar high |
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| 2016-01-29 - 2016-04-18 |
What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady, but he just can't stand up? |
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| 2016-01-11 - 2016-01-29 |
Godspeed, Major Tom |
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| 2015-12-31 - 2016-01-11 |
One likes to believe in the freedom of music |
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| 2015-12-18 - 2015-12-31 |
Resurgence
Every song was an anthem that the radio played for us |
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| 2015-12-16 - 2015-12-18 |
Resurgence. |
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| 2015-10-12 - 2015-10-22 |
I'm bored and hereby summon Mark19960. |
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| 2014-12-22 - 2015-05-21 |
This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers! |
