| 2022-04-28 - 2024-04-26 |
IRAN |
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| 2015-02-12 - 2024-04-25 |
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| 2020-09-01 - 2021-05-25 |
WELCOME TO IRAN! :-) |
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| 2020-08-31 - 2020-09-01 |
Iran :-) |
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| 2020-07-21 - 2020-08-31 |
Welcome to #IRan I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 - 2020-08-31 |
Welcome to #IRan I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (20:01:36 - 20:01:36) |
Welcome to #IRan EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (19:01:36 - 19:01:36) |
Welcome to #IRan I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. -Steven Wright Li |
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| 2020-07-20 (17:01:35 - 17:01:35) |
Welcome to #IRan You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of |
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| 2020-07-20 (15:01:34 - 15:01:34) |
Welcome to #IRan Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (14:01:34 - 14:01:34) |
Welcome to #IRan To live is to have problems and to solve problems is to grow intellectually -J. P. Guilford Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-07-20 (13:01:34 - 13:01:34) |
Welcome to #IRan Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (12:01:36 - 12:01:36) |
Welcome to #IRan I went to a garage sale. How much for the garage? It's not for sale. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By L |
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| 2020-07-20 (11:01:34 - 11:01:34) |
Welcome to #IRan Silence is Foo. -Woody Woodpecker Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (10:01:36 - 10:01:36) |
Welcome to #IRan You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (08:01:34 - 08:01:34) |
Welcome to #IRan I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-07-20 (07:01:33 - 07:01:33) |
Welcome to #IRan I went to a fancy french restaurant called Deja Vu. The headwaiter said, Don't I know you? -Steven Wright Little Ghos |
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| 2020-07-20 (05:01:32 - 05:01:32) |
Welcome to #IRan Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (04:01:32 - 04:01:32) |
Welcome to #IRan For a while I didn't have a car...I had a helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...[slow glance upward] -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (01:01:31 - 01:01:31) |
Welcome to #IRan If at first you don't succeed, try management. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-20 (00:01:33 - 00:01:33) |
Welcome to #IRan I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, Steven, time to go to sleep. I said, But I don't know how. She said, It's re |
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| 2020-07-17 - 2020-07-19 |
Welcome to #IRan Who's Peer & why did he reset my connection? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-19 (21:01:31 - 21:01:31) |
Welcome to #IRan I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh... -Steven Wright Little Gho |
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| 2020-07-19 (19:01:32 - 19:01:32) |
Welcome to #IRan I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-07-19 (18:01:32 - 18:01:32) |
Welcome to #IRan What you can do,or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power and magic in it. -Goethe Little Ghost Bo |
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| 2020-07-19 (17:01:30 - 17:01:30) |
Welcome to #IRan Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced. -Ned Rorem Little Ghost Bot By |
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| 2020-07-19 (16:01:33 - 16:01:33) |
Welcome to #IRan ...we are free at last! -Martin Luther King Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-19 (15:01:29 - 15:01:29) |
Welcome to #IRan Age is important only if you're cheese and wine. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-19 (13:01:29 - 13:01:29) |
Welcome to #IRan To ask the hard question is simple. -W. H. Auden Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-19 (12:01:30 - 12:01:30) |
Welcome to #IRan A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, Wish you were h |
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| 2020-07-19 (09:01:28 - 09:01:28) |
Welcome to #IRan An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-07-19 (08:01:30 - 08:01:30) |
Welcome to #IRan No man is a failure that has friends. -It's a Wonderful Life Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-19 (07:01:28 - 07:01:28) |
Welcome to #IRan I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my f |
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| 2020-07-19 (06:01:26 - 06:01:26) |
Welcome to #IRan A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By L |
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| 2020-07-19 (05:01:26 - 05:01:26) |
Welcome to #IRan I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-19 (04:01:31 - 04:01:31) |
Welcome to #IRan Smoking cures weight problems...eventually... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 - 2020-07-19 |
Welcome to #IRan I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot B |
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| 2020-07-19 (02:01:26 - 02:01:26) |
Welcome to #IRan Spock, I thought you were dead? - No Sir, I Rebooted Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-19 (01:01:31 - 01:01:31) |
Welcome to #IRan I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, Hello, Information. I said, I can't find my socks. She said, They're behind the couch. And they were! -Steven Wright Little Ghost |
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| 2020-07-19 (00:01:27 - 00:01:27) |
Welcome to #IRan Random quotes can be most effecatious. -Anon Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (23:01:27 - 23:01:27) |
Welcome to #IRan Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. Little G |
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| 2020-07-18 (22:01:27 - 22:01:27) |
Welcome to #IRan Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (21:01:26 - 21:01:26) |
Welcome to #IRan [Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody! -Steven Wright Little |
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| 2020-07-18 (19:01:25 - 19:01:25) |
Welcome to #IRan I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said pet supplies. So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said compact cars. -Ste |
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| 2020-07-18 (18:01:25 - 18:01:25) |
Welcome to #IRan Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (17:01:24 - 17:01:24) |
Welcome to #IRan Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (16:01:25 - 16:01:25) |
Welcome to #IRan Hold a true friend with both your hands. -Nigerian Proverb Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (13:01:24 - 13:01:24) |
Welcome to #IRan To thine own self be true. -William Shakespaere Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (12:01:23 - 12:01:23) |
Welcome to #IRan I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bo |
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| 2020-07-18 (11:01:23 - 11:01:23) |
Welcome to #IRan I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food |
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| 2020-07-18 (09:01:23 - 09:01:23) |
Welcome to #IRan COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (08:01:22 - 08:01:22) |
Welcome to #IRan I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (07:01:22 - 07:01:22) |
Welcome to #IRan Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (06:01:22 - 06:01:22) |
Welcome to #IRan Friendship is one mind in two bodies.- Mencius Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (03:01:22 - 03:01:22) |
Welcome to #IRan 2 + 2 = 6 for extremely large values of 2. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-18 (02:01:21 - 02:01:21) |
Welcome to #IRan I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LG |
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| 2020-07-18 (01:01:21 - 01:01:21) |
Welcome to #IRan I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my |
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| 2020-07-18 (00:01:23 - 00:01:23) |
Welcome to #IRan If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 (20:01:19 - 22:01:21) |
Welcome to #IRan Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not so sure about the universe. -Albert Einstein Little G |
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| 2020-07-17 (21:01:21 - 21:01:21) |
Welcome to #IRan Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 (18:01:20 - 19:01:19) |
dallgn/TopicFile.txt does not exist |
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| 2020-07-17 (17:01:20 - 17:01:20) |
Welcome to #IRan C program run. C program crash. C programmer cry. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 (16:01:19 - 16:01:19) |
Welcome to #IRan Is tired old cliche one? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 (15:01:19 - 15:01:19) |
Welcome to #IRan When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be nin |
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| 2020-07-17 (11:01:17 - 11:01:17) |
Welcome to #IRan INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 (10:01:21 - 10:01:21) |
Welcome to #IRan The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the temptin |
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| 2020-07-17 (06:01:17 - 06:01:17) |
Welcome to #IRan Persistance is the hard work that you do after you are tired of doing the hard work you already did -Newt Gingrich Little G |
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| 2020-07-17 (05:01:15 - 05:01:15) |
The mind, like a parachute, works best when it's open... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 (04:01:16 - 04:01:16) |
I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 - 2020-07-17 |
One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak. -G. K. Chesterton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-17 (02:01:15 - 02:01:15) |
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 - 2020-07-17 |
To be a man of knowledge one needs to be light and fluid -Yaqui Mystic Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (22:01:19 - 22:01:19) |
I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (20:01:22 - 20:01:22) |
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)...and says, "Here, you can go." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bo |
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| 2020-07-16 (19:01:13 - 19:01:13) |
My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (18:01:13 - 18:01:13) |
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot B |
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| 2020-07-16 (17:01:14 - 17:01:14) |
C program run. C program crash. C programmer cry. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (16:01:15 - 16:01:15) |
USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (15:01:13 - 15:01:13) |
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By |
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| 2020-07-16 (12:01:11 - 12:01:11) |
I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bo |
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| 2020-07-16 (11:01:11 - 11:01:11) |
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (10:01:11 - 10:01:11) |
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. -Steven Wright Little G |
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| 2020-07-10 - 2020-07-16 |
shutdown -h now Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 - 2020-07-16 |
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 - 2020-07-16 |
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (05:01:13 - 05:01:13) |
"No man is a failure that has friends." -It's a Wonderful Life Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (03:01:16 - 03:01:16) |
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (02:01:12 - 02:01:12) |
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading...and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-16 (01:01:11 - 01:01:11) |
Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 - 2020-07-16 |
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (22:01:14 - 22:01:14) |
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (20:01:09 - 20:01:09) |
"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (19:01:10 - 19:01:10) |
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By |
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| 2020-07-15 (18:01:09 - 18:01:09) |
I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know... my calendar has no sevens o |
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| 2020-07-15 (17:01:08 - 17:01:08) |
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." -Winnie the Pooh Little Gho |
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| 2020-07-15 (16:01:09 - 16:01:09) |
I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (15:01:09 - 15:01:09) |
The beatings will continue until morale improves. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (14:01:10 - 14:01:10) |
I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (13:01:07 - 13:01:07) |
It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end -Ursula K. Le Guin Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (12:01:08 - 12:01:08) |
A wise man learns more from his enemies than a fool does from his friends Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (11:01:07 - 11:01:07) |
"Silence is Foo." -Woody Woodpecker Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (10:01:06 - 10:01:06) |
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (07:01:07 - 07:01:07) |
Buy a Pentium II so you can reboot faster. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (05:01:05 - 05:01:05) |
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (04:01:03 - 04:01:03) |
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? Li |
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| 2020-07-15 (03:01:07 - 03:01:07) |
When the way comes to an end, then change - having changed, you pass through. -I Ching Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-15 (02:01:05 - 02:01:05) |
"Great spirits have always encounted violent opposition from those with mediocre minds." -albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By L |
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| 2020-07-15 (01:01:06 - 01:01:06) |
If only women came with pull-down menus and online help. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (23:01:03 - 23:01:03) |
"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite." -William Blake Little Ghost Bot By |
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| 2020-07-14 (21:01:08 - 21:01:08) |
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (20:01:03 - 20:01:03) |
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. -Steven Wright Lit |
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| 2020-07-14 (09:01:01 - 19:01:10) |
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (17:01:03 - 17:01:03) |
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" -Steven Wright Little Gh |
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| 2020-07-14 (16:01:02 - 16:01:02) |
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (10:01:01 - 13:01:02) |
I had my coathangers spayed. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 - 2020-07-14 |
You cannot mandate productivity, you must provide the tools to let people become their best. -Steve Jobs Little Ghost Bot By LG |
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| 2020-07-14 (08:01:01 - 08:01:01) |
Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 - 2020-07-14 |
Cause its a jungle out there Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 - 2020-07-14 |
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (04:01:02 - 04:01:02) |
I do not seek. I find. -Pablo Picasso Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (03:01:09 - 03:01:09) |
"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (02:01:00 - 02:01:00) |
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-14 (01:01:03 - 01:01:03) |
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 - 2020-07-14 |
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (21:01:00 - 21:01:00) |
The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (19:00:59 - 19:00:59) |
I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out |
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| 2020-07-13 (18:00:58 - 18:00:58) |
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (17:00:59 - 17:00:59) |
We waste time, so you don't have to. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (15:00:59 - 15:00:59) |
[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-07-13 (14:00:58 - 14:00:58) |
I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl. She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on." I said, "Yeah, I know, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." -Steven Wright Little Gho |
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| 2020-07-13 (13:00:59 - 13:00:59) |
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By |
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| 2020-07-11 - 2020-07-13 |
"In the fight between you and the world, back the world." -Frank Zappa Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (08:00:55 - 08:00:55) |
"Friendship is one mind in two bodies."- Mencius Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (07:00:56 - 07:00:56) |
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (06:00:53 - 06:00:53) |
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. -Steven Wright |
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| 2020-07-13 (05:00:56 - 05:00:56) |
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (04:00:54 - 04:00:54) |
There are three ways to get things done! 1) do it yourself 2) employ someone else 3) forbid your children to do it... Little Ghost Bo |
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| 2020-07-13 (03:00:54 - 03:00:54) |
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (02:00:54 - 02:00:54) |
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (01:00:53 - 01:00:53) |
The beatings will continue until morale improves. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-13 (00:00:54 - 00:00:54) |
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-07-12 (23:00:53 - 23:00:53) |
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (22:00:53 - 22:00:53) |
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (21:00:51 - 21:00:51) |
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by |
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| 2020-07-12 (20:00:53 - 20:00:53) |
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (19:00:51 - 19:00:51) |
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (18:00:51 - 18:00:51) |
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me. - |
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| 2020-07-12 (17:00:51 - 17:00:51) |
"Life is:'trying things to see if they work'" -Ray Bradbury Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (15:00:54 - 15:00:54) |
I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on |
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| 2020-07-12 (14:00:51 - 14:00:51) |
"Spock, I thought you were dead?" - "No Sir, I Rebooted" Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-10 - 2020-07-12 |
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (12:00:49 - 12:00:49) |
For a while I didn't have a car...I had a helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...[slow glance upward] -Steven |
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| 2020-07-12 (10:00:50 - 10:00:50) |
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (08:00:50 - 08:00:50) |
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (07:00:48 - 07:00:48) |
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Little G |
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| 2020-07-12 (06:00:49 - 06:00:49) |
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (05:00:48 - 05:00:48) |
Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (04:00:48 - 04:00:48) |
"#define QUESTION ((bb)
!(bb)) - Shakespeare." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 - 2020-07-12 |
On the other hand, you have different fingers. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-12 (02:00:48 - 02:00:48) |
You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright |
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| 2020-07-12 (01:00:48 - 01:00:48) |
Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse. -James Carswell Little Ghost Bot By |
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| 2020-07-11 - 2020-07-12 |
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. -Steven Wright |
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| 2020-07-11 (23:00:49 - 23:00:49) |
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (22:00:48 - 22:00:48) |
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot B |
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| 2020-07-11 (20:00:47 - 20:00:47) |
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (19:00:47 - 19:00:47) |
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-07-11 (18:00:47 - 18:00:47) |
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Little Ghost Bot By |
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| 2020-07-11 (17:00:46 - 17:00:46) |
It's a fine night to have an evening. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (15:00:48 - 15:00:48) |
Unable to join #real_life (You're banned) Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (05:00:43 - 14:00:46) |
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (13:00:46 - 13:00:46) |
Yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for. You put them on doughbolts. They hold dough airplanes together. For kids, they make erector sets out of play-dough |
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| 2020-07-11 (12:00:45 - 12:00:45) |
Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right. -Henry Ford Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (11:00:46 - 11:00:46) |
Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (08:00:48 - 08:00:48) |
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (06:00:44 - 06:00:44) |
I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl. She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on." I said, "Yeah, I know, but t |
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| 2020-07-11 (04:00:44 - 04:00:44) |
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-11 (03:00:41 - 03:00:41) |
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, |
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| 2020-07-11 (00:00:42 - 00:00:42) |
Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind. -Zen saying Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-10 (20:00:43 - 20:00:43) |
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-10 (19:00:44 - 19:00:44) |
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-10 (18:00:41 - 18:00:41) |
A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-10 (17:00:41 - 17:00:41) |
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bo |
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| 2020-07-10 (15:00:39 - 16:00:40) |
Hit any user to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2020-07-10 (14:00:38 - 14:00:38) |
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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| 2017-01-31 - 2020-07-10 |
Welcome to #IRan Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced. -Ned Rorem Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-02-03 - 2020-07-03 |
Welcome to #IRan Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-19 - 2020-07-03 |
Welcome to #Iran MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-03 |
Welcome to #Iran What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-20 - 2020-07-03 |
Welcome to #Iran "The truth shall set you free.." Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-03 |
Welcome to #Iran If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. -Isaac Newton Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-20 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice... Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-29 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #IRan My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-25 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #IRan I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-15 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran 43% of all statistics are worthless. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran "Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff." -Frank Zappa Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-21 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran "...we are free at last!" -Martin Luther King Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-19 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #Iran Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-24 - 2020-07-02 |
Welcome to #IRan An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. -Dr. Edwin Land Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran To be a man of knowledge one needs to be light and fluid -Yaqui Mystic Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-15 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran The only joy in the world is to begin. -Cesare Pavese Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran What is originality? Undetected plagiarism. -Dean William R. Inge Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-02-03 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #IRan Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind. -Zen saying Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-30 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #IRan I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-15 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran I do not seek. I find. -Pablo Picasso Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-04-01 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #IRan I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran Age is important only if you're cheese and wine. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-19 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran The mind, like a parachute, works best when it's open... Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-07-01 |
Welcome to #Iran COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-02-02 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #IRan GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #Iran I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #Iran If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them? Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #Iran SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-30 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #IRan Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #Iran Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. -Chinese Proverb Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #Iran "I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere." -Anon Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-15 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #Iran Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-24 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #IRan Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-25 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #IRan The more you think, the more time you have. -Henry Ford Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #Iran You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-02-02 - 2020-06-30 |
Welcome to #IRan TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-19 - 2020-06-29 |
Welcome to #Iran I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-06-29 |
Welcome to #Iran If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-25 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #IRan Write as if you are dying -Annie Dillard Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #Iran Random quotes can be most effecatious." -Anon Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #Iran Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #Iran "To thine own self be true." -William Shakespaere Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #Iran One cannot step twice into the same river. -Heraclitus Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-18 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #Iran CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #Iran If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #Iran DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-02-06 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #IRan 7/5th of all people do not understand fractions. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #Iran You lose it if you talk about it. -Ernest Hemingway Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-25 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #IRan It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-25 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #IRan The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #Iran Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-02-02 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #IRan There are three ways to get things done! 1) do it yourself 2) employ someone else 3) forbid your children to do it... Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-17 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #Iran Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-16 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #Iran TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-26 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #IRan I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-19 - 2020-06-21 |
Welcome to #Iran The obvious is always least understood -Prince Metternich Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-25 - 2020-06-19 |
Welcome to #IRan I had my coathangers spayed. -Steven WrightLittle Ghost Bot |
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| 2020-03-24 - 2020-06-18 |
Welcome to #IRan I invented the cordless extension cord. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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| 2017-01-20 - 2020-04-11 |
Welcome to #Iran There are three ways to get things done! 1) do it yourself 2) employ someone else 3) forbid your children to do it... Little |
