Channel information
Network Name:Foonetic
Channel Name:#bibeogaem
Last users:10
Last updated:2017-11-19 04:20:44
Current topic:
[+nC] They don't deserve my premium content

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Day | Week | Month | Year
Topic history
2017-11-17 - 2017-11-19
[+nC] They don't deserve my premium content
2017-11-17 (19:20:42 - 21:20:42)
[+nC] What a pepperoni idiot
2017-11-17 (11:20:40 - 18:20:40)
[+nC] he was PEEPIN ME OUT dad
2017-11-17 (10:20:41 - 10:20:41)
[+nC] the stickeye
2017-11-15 - 2017-11-17
[+nC] boiled bum pills
2017-11-15 (17:20:34 - 20:20:33)
[+nC] But the blood went away eventually
2017-11-15 (14:20:32 - 16:20:35)
[+nC] So it's not like you can stick any old thing up your arse and see the benefit
2017-11-15 (12:20:32 - 13:20:32)
[+nC] I can't believe I wrote a python script to tell if that was caesar encoded or not
2017-11-14 - 2017-11-15
[+nC] a mess of dug up shit everywhere in your world
2017-11-14 (16:20:29 - 17:20:28)
[+nC] gigantic fake rubber bollocks
2017-11-11 - 2017-11-14
[+nC] probably because of the winkies and balls in your case
2017-11-11 (20:20:12 - 21:20:13)
[+nC] We are enemies only on the internet, not in real life
2017-11-10 - 2017-11-11
[+nC] muyuyshitting shitapugs
2017-11-08 - 2017-11-10
[+nC] buried my husband in a shoe box
2017-11-08 (17:19:57 - 19:19:52)
[+nC] night-night Mr. Bunny
2017-11-08 (15:19:52 - 16:19:52)
[+nC] nutty pork
2017-11-07 - 2017-11-08
[+nC] dongharvesters
2017-11-06 - 2017-11-07
[+nC] considerably less ass
2017-11-06 (17:43:41 - 22:43:41)
[+nC] pain-in-the-dick installer
2017-11-06 (12:43:40 - 16:43:41)
[+nC] Don't put dildos in your light sockets
2017-11-05 - 2017-11-06
[+nC] I keep accidentally hitting my wife with a hammer
2017-11-05 (17:43:36 - 18:43:35)
[+nC] Everything's portable if you're strong enough
2017-11-05 (14:43:34 - 16:43:35)
[+nC] Soup as default
2017-11-05 (12:43:35 - 13:43:34)
[+nC] Too late, fucko
2017-11-05 (11:43:35 - 11:43:35)
[+nC] I told her I loved her and gave her a kiss as I put her to bed last night, as usual. She replied "Daddy.........you're a willy."
2017-11-04 - 2017-11-05
[+nC] Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, and Twat Mario
2017-11-02 - 2017-11-04
[+nC] feck in front of your granny
2017-10-31 - 2017-11-02
[+nC] Stupid magnets
2017-10-30 - 2017-10-31
[+nC] It’s a halloween wank wave!
2017-10-30 (22:31:34 - 22:31:34)
[+nC] an aperture in a pumpkin counts as an orifice
2017-10-29 - 2017-10-30
[+nC] I… can related
2017-10-28 (23:31:23 - 23:31:23)
[+nC] The whole anus thing killed me
2017-10-27 - 2017-10-28
[+nC] Extreme Fuck Laser
2017-10-26 - 2017-10-27
[+nC] I EXPECT AT LEAST 5 MORE DOORBELLS TODAY
2017-10-25 - 2017-10-26
[+nC] Trail a cable out the window. *not a poo euphemism
2017-10-24 (20:30:58 - 23:31:00)
[+nC] how did you shit yourself this time?
2017-10-24 (13:30:57 - 19:31:00)
[+nC] The cat was trying to climb onto the bed. He used my arse crack as something to grab onto
2017-10-23 - 2017-10-24
[+nC] mooquackaweewillyplop
2017-10-22 - 2017-10-23
[+nC] Was was Smeggoland?
2017-10-20 - 2017-10-22
[+nC] congrats, you found a way to monetise amish people
2017-10-20 (10:30:34 - 13:30:34)
[+nC] I have learnt, over years of marriage, that "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed" means "I am both angry and disappointed."
2017-10-20 (09:30:35 - 09:30:35)
[+nC] once you POSIX you never go... err, bosix.
2017-10-19 - 2017-10-20
[+nC] Stardew VAGINA
2017-10-19 (18:30:30 - 20:30:33)
[+nC] Brb, Spain
2017-10-19 (16:30:28 - 17:30:29)
[+nC] That's berger!
2017-10-18 - 2017-10-19
[+nC] I sincerely doubt that £34 gin contains actual Moon
2017-10-18 (11:30:22 - 18:30:22)
[+nC] Victorian Bagette Machine
2017-10-18 (07:30:18 - 10:30:18)
[+nC] about one thin rizla away from completely acrobatically pirouetting off the handle into comedy apoplexy
2017-10-17 - 2017-10-18
[+nC] Gubbins & Goujons
2017-10-17 (18:30:14 - 21:30:15)
[+nC] ball balls
2017-10-17 (16:30:14 - 17:30:12)
[+nC] what the fuck is a Hanzo main
2017-10-14 - 2017-10-17
[+nC] I now have a TEENY TINY little tube
2017-10-13 - 2017-10-14
[+nC] Crabatouille
2017-10-13 (15:29:44 - 15:29:44)
[+nC] fuck you, egg
2017-10-13 (12:29:44 - 14:29:42)
[+nC] Most things are worse when shat in
2017-10-12 - 2017-10-13
[+nC] I like how the French word for pigeon is just 'pigeon' with a French accent
2017-10-11 - 2017-10-12
[+nC] thank you spaec potato
2017-10-11 (20:29:31 - 21:29:30)
[+nC] an insatiable wank-goblin
2017-10-11 (19:29:33 - 19:29:33)
[+nC] poo hound
2017-10-10 - 2017-10-11
[+nC] He can fall over and disappear down his own knob-hole for all I care
2017-10-10 (12:29:19 - 19:29:21)
[+nC] imagine if there was a star wars spin off that had nic cage, tits, and a car chase in it
2017-10-08 - 2017-10-10
[+nC] Tsar Bomba level Dad Joke
2017-10-07 - 2017-10-08
[+nC] Du hast Pumpyhosen
2017-10-07 (12:28:58 - 19:28:59)
[+nC] I wonder if the germans have a word for that experience of continuing to play a game after you've beaten the big boss.
2017-10-06 - 2017-10-07
[+nC] I am about as scary as a cake
2017-10-06 (19:28:53 - 20:28:52)
[+nC] You can't own more than six dildos in Texas
2017-10-06 (18:28:52 - 18:28:52)
[+nC] ultimate bastard compilation
2017-10-06 (13:28:53 - 17:28:51)
[+nC] Hey, gimme a Pot Noodle Deluxe. And a spork. <Vangelis music commences>
2017-10-05 - 2017-10-06
[+nC] I held someone up by their head and repeatedly uppercutted them in the nuts
2017-10-05 (14:28:45 - 16:28:43)
[+nC] I guess some people are just fools.
2017-10-03 - 2017-10-05
[+nC] answers are good, answers to the questions I actually fuckin asked are better
2017-10-01 - 2017-10-03
[+nC] drugs. drugs and booze are what’s happening there.
2017-10-01 (13:19:42 - 13:19:42)
[+nC] covered head to toe in mud and dad
2017-09-30 - 2017-10-01
[+nC] balls and bollocks are 'medium'
2017-09-27 - 2017-09-30
[+nC] merry-go-round of plummery
2017-09-25 - 2017-09-26
[+nC] an plumless meeting@
2017-09-24 - 2017-09-25
[+nC] all other plubs are inferior to UK plubs
2017-09-24 (11:18:49 - 18:18:51)
[+nC] The Amazing Appearing Winky
2017-09-21 - 2017-09-24
[+nC] going to have a rage bath
2017-09-21 (11:18:28 - 12:18:28)
[+nC] Enjoy a white Christmas with Smeg
2017-09-20 - 2017-09-21
[+nC] I don't approve of your disrespect, but I'm going to topic that
2017-09-20 (11:18:21 - 11:18:21)
[+nC] I WISH TO CUM IN YOUR FACE IWATA
2017-09-18 - 2017-09-20
[+nC] I surprised a cleaner in the changing rooms by being a naked woman where he expected 0 people to be
2017-09-18 (13:18:09 - 22:18:09)
[+nC] Shit My Trousers Five
2017-09-16 - 2017-09-18
[+nC] I need a pig. I've been looking for a pig for about an hour
2017-09-14 - 2017-09-16
[+nC] one of them gets bummed from the future
2017-09-13 - 2017-09-14
[+nC] YOU POKE IT UP YOUR BUM BUM AND FART IT OUT THE WINDOW
2017-09-13 (17:17:34 - 20:17:34)
[+nC] You’re still getting something shoved up your arse, and everyone in the room is watching you having somethign shoved up your arse.
2017-09-11 - 2017-09-13
[+nC] I know he's alive because I came home to a dirty plate and cutlery in the kitchen
2017-09-10 - 2017-09-11
[+nC] Space PETA will find you and then put down those animals before you can kill them
2017-09-10 (20:17:13 - 20:17:13)
[+nC] Norman's Sky
2017-09-10 (15:17:11 - 19:17:12)
[+nC] It's really hard to ruin actual shit.
2017-09-08 - 2017-09-10
[+nC] I’m a slurper
2017-09-07 - 2017-09-08
[+nC] Urgh, my invasion of Japan has been a fucking disaster
2017-09-06 - 2017-09-07
[+nC] The Oxford comma is cool, fun, and exciting
2017-09-04 - 2017-09-06
[+nC] I wasn't sausages
2017-09-04 (20:36:30 - 20:36:30)
[+nC] Boils on your taint are good luck!
2017-09-04 (04:36:25 - 19:36:28)
[+nC] it's proving a bit penisish
2017-09-03 - 2017-09-04
[+nC] sputtery paté
2017-09-01 - 2017-09-03
[+nC] FART ROBOT APPROVES
2017-08-31 - 2017-09-01
[+nC] Maybe I will do an unexpected massive shit
2017-08-30 - 2017-08-31
[+nC] to clarify: I did not murder my father
2017-08-28 - 2017-08-30
[+nC] I will know I’m old when Pacific Rim is on in the room and I want to talk about washing powder.
2017-08-27 - 2017-08-28
[+nC] Fizzy bulb
2017-08-26 - 2017-08-27
[+nC] My horse exploded
2017-08-26 (11:40:13 - 17:40:03)
[+nC] you're just going to end up with bread and vegetables everywhere!
2017-08-25 - 2017-08-26
[+nC] Jeff Goldblum came along and sat on my face
2017-08-25 (00:39:52 - 15:39:56)
[+nC] Gloryhole of the Fartfuck
2017-08-24 (21:39:54 - 23:39:50)
[+nC] there was a woman whose body was a tractor made of tits
2017-08-24 (18:39:49 - 20:39:50)
[+nC] Cake: 1. Fuck into a bowl 2. In tin a put. 3. Hot
2017-08-24 (16:39:49 - 17:39:48)
[+nC] I just committed the ever-so-satisfying mastubatory exercise
2017-08-24 (14:39:51 - 15:39:48)
[+nC] cum safety blanket
2017-08-24 (04:39:45 - 13:39:48)
[+nC] It's likely that she put a finger up Kenny Loggins' bum in a professional context.
2017-08-22 - 2017-08-24
[+nC] I'm not making glory holes so I can suck some airmen silly
2017-08-22 (12:39:31 - 19:39:35)
[+nC] Dickstretcher & Fuckchops
2017-08-21 - 2017-08-22
[+nC] Given how big the world is, there is probably someone called Steven Steven shitting shitting themself right now
2017-08-20 - 2017-08-21
[+nC] The helmets are different shapes
2017-08-20 (18:39:23 - 22:39:20)
[+nC] everyone does everything wrong basically
2017-08-20 (17:39:19 - 17:39:19)
[+nC] I'm just some cunt with a mitre saw
2017-08-20 (14:39:17 - 16:39:17)
[+nC] A poophemism
2017-08-19 - 2017-08-20
[+nC] I have a haircut and wood. BRB, going to eat
2017-08-18 - 2017-08-19
[+nC] a giant mouse will shit in your eyes as you sleep
2017-08-18 (22:39:04 - 22:39:04)
[+nC] maybe I just got a particularly lazy batch of tofu
2017-08-13 - 2017-08-18
[+nC] Remember, you can blow your nose and then fold the tissue over and use it on your bum, but NOT the other way around
2017-08-13 (10:38:21 - 10:38:21)
[+nC] a horrifying soapy bezoar
2017-08-11 - 2017-08-13
[+nC] MARK VADER
2017-08-10 - 2017-08-11
[+nC] I don't know where everyone's going to shit, but it better not be in the water supply
2017-08-10 (20:38:07 - 20:38:07)
[+nC] Fisto or GTFO
2017-08-09 - 2017-08-10
[+nC] aerobrake dickdance time
2017-08-08 - 2017-08-09
[+nC] Urrrghhhh, I thought I heard my MIL blowing her nose in the kitchen but it was her anus. The whole house stinks of old lady colon now
2017-08-07 - 2017-08-08
[+nC] now I have to think of something that isn't masturbating
2017-08-07 (06:37:36 - 17:37:39)
[+nC] Travel to PENISLAND
2017-08-06 - 2017-08-07
[+nC] to them their feet are advanced technology
2017-08-05 - 2017-08-06
[+nC] only I'm allowed to eat cat poison
2017-08-05 (22:37:28 - 22:37:28)
[+nC] goddamnit jeff goldblum turned my laptop off
2017-08-04 - 2017-08-05
[+nC] I drank my piss once to find out what it tasted like. It tastes of piss.
2017-08-04 (13:06:44 - 13:06:44)
[+nC] very turgid with seed
2017-08-03 - 2017-08-04
[+nC] Oh no, I am flailing my arms uncontrollably and hitting my winky
2017-08-02 - 2017-08-03
[+nC] Foof is just so nice
2017-08-02 (10:06:31 - 12:06:28)
[+nC] bacterially synthesised tiger cock proteins.
2017-08-01 - 2017-08-02
[+nC] piss should not have a soupy consistency
2017-08-01 (19:06:23 - 22:06:23)
[+nC] cunto
2017-08-01 (18:06:23 - 18:06:23)
[+nC] Press X to twat
2017-07-31 - 2017-08-01
[+nC] time to dial back on the fibre
2017-07-30 - 2017-07-31
[+nC] A wingless plane powered by rockets is a rocket
2017-07-30 (20:06:08 - 22:06:07)
[+nC] Everyone's shitting their beds again
2017-07-30 (19:06:10 - 19:06:10)
[+nC] yay trousers
2017-07-30 (14:06:05 - 18:06:07)
[+nC] I’m pretty upset that mano-a-mano as innunedo for touching willies is now over
2017-07-29 - 2017-07-30
[+nC] I also have crossed some sort of weird line, and am storing a jar of my own piss in the fridge
2017-07-26 - 2017-07-29
[+nC] A day without coffee is depresso
2017-07-25 - 2017-07-26
[+nC] I LIVE
2017-07-25 (20:05:34 - 22:05:40)
[+nC] liquid poo alert
2017-07-24 - 2017-07-25
[+nC] At least you might get some meatball action
2017-07-23 - 2017-07-24
[+nC] YOU VANT MY SPERM?
2017-07-22 - 2017-07-23
[+nC] his face is frankly harrowing
2017-07-21 - 2017-07-22
[+nC] grease the cheetah?
2017-07-20 - 2017-07-21
[+nC] Someones going to take that as a challenge and there's going to be piss everywhere
2017-07-18 - 2017-07-20
[+nC] He's like someone stretched a ballsack over a mannequin and sent it into work
2017-07-18 (21:04:47 - 21:04:47)
[+nC] If you have ten beefy fuckers in a cupboard, you're asking for a bad time
2017-07-18 (16:04:45 - 16:04:45)
[+nC] sʇunɔ ןןɐ s,ʇı
2017-07-17 - 2017-07-18
[+nC] my cup of tea is cold because I got carried away writing "twat"
2017-07-16 - 2017-07-17
[+nC] Thinking about them as people makes it seem mean
2017-07-16 (12:04:22 - 13:04:30)
[+nC] It's not spaghetti but I found a taco fleshlight
2017-07-15 - 2017-07-16
[+nC] A billion anuses
2017-07-14 - 2017-07-15
[+nC] I’m wondering how long it will take for someone to fuck it up somehow
2017-07-13 - 2017-07-14
[+nC] I asked it if it likes penis
2017-07-13 (20:04:01 - 20:04:01)
[+nC] I want to be able to slot it up my chuff and for it to vibrate
2017-07-11 - 2017-07-13
[+nC] failure bed
2017-07-10 - 2017-07-11
[+nC] rapidly entering "oh no, what have I done" territory
2017-07-10 (21:03:39 - 22:03:36)
[+nC] 3D scan my anus and make me a perfect buttplug with filters in it to reduce the decibels of my farts, then we can talk £60
2017-07-10 (17:03:37 - 20:03:34)
[+nC] is like a cat saying it wants to drop everything and learn how to fly a helicopter
2017-07-09 - 2017-07-10
[+nC] Spend it all on DICKTECH
2017-07-07 - 2017-07-09
[+nC] drooling belmcake
2017-07-06 - 2017-07-07
[+nC] moving the assoverton window more assward
2017-07-05 - 2017-07-06
[+nC] My sexy is average, probably
2017-07-05 (13:03:01 - 21:02:57)
[+nC] I am only the toilet now.
2017-07-04 - 2017-07-05
[+nC] I've got "leg becomes arse" in my head to the tune of "two become one" by the spice girls
2017-07-04 (13:02:51 - 21:02:53)
[+nC] a condom, which is basically a bag, a bag for when you lose your sprems
2017-07-04 (06:02:49 - 12:02:50)
[+nC] a soggy sentient tampon made of egg
2017-07-03 - 2017-07-04
[+nC] it would be horrific if spunking made a vomiting noise
2017-07-03 (16:08:55 - 19:08:57)
[+nC] mainly grat
2017-07-02 - 2017-07-03
[+nC] How's your smashed anus?
2017-07-01 - 2017-07-02
[+nC] Today it's "chocolate testicles"
2017-07-01 (18:08:42 - 20:08:44)
[+nC] when two people snog, they make a tube with a bumhole on each end
2017-06-30 - 2017-07-01
[+nC] HUGE BUM GOING IN COCK
2017-06-29 - 2017-06-30
[+nC] He couldn't count to 3 on his dick and nuts
2017-06-29 (15:08:35 - 20:08:32)
[+nC] I needed a shit, but I got grumpy about something and it went back up
2017-06-28 - 2017-06-29
[+nC] Have you ever done anything with a secret backend?
2017-06-27 - 2017-06-28
[+nC] if you would prefer comforting lies over honesty let me know
2017-06-26 - 2017-06-27
[+nC] Hurp derble fnerble derb? Gurb! Nerble herble borp.
2017-06-25 - 2017-06-26
[+nC] AQUEDUCKED
2017-06-25 (13:07:55 - 19:07:56)
[+nC] you can tell a lot about what’s going on with a chimp from its arse
2017-06-25 (09:07:52 - 12:07:53)
[+nC] I love Eskimo Shatner though
2017-06-23 - 2017-06-25
[+nC] I hate how a) the above, and b) fuck camping
2017-06-22 - 2017-06-23
[+nC] Perhaps eventually I will tell us what me really think.
2017-06-22 (20:07:35 - 20:07:35)
[+nC] SLUTSPURT
2017-06-22 (01:07:27 - 19:07:36)
[+nC] Internet fuck device
2017-06-21 - 2017-06-22
[+nC] the dead-queen's switch is in her Maj-vag
2017-06-19 - 2017-06-21
[+nC] sulphurous butt fumes
2017-06-19 (11:07:06 - 16:07:18)
[+nC] because the heat brings the rats.
2017-06-18 - 2017-06-19
[+nC] everything is crabs
2017-06-18 (21:07:05 - 21:07:05)
[+nC] masturbating a penis
2017-06-18 (16:07:02 - 20:07:05)
[+nC] It's bullshit that the Sun is 93 million miles away but it can still hurt me
2017-06-16 - 2017-06-18
[+nC] Weekend At Theresa's. That's our current Government.
2017-06-16 (07:06:54 - 22:06:48)
[+nC] I bet he'd fuck up "Being Kicked Up The Arse" somehow
2017-06-16 (00:06:42 - 06:06:44)
[+nC] I bet he'd fuck up "Being Kicked Up The Arse" somehow. Like, he'd phase out of this dimension for a second, allowing my foot to pass through him.
2017-06-15 (20:38:02 - 23:06:42)
[+nC] I can’t avoid balloons in my turkey expressions
2017-06-14 - 2017-06-15
[+nC] Swedish men's who feel important == se-men's
2017-06-14 (20:37:32 - 20:37:32)
[+nC] men’s who feel important
2017-06-13 - 2017-06-14
[+nC] IT'S CHUBBO TIME!
2017-06-13 (16:37:24 - 20:37:21)
2017-06-13 (11:37:18 - 13:37:17)
[+nC] no one argues with the squits
2017-06-11 - 2017-06-13
[+nC] a maxed out 330 of something mega sounds like a lot.
2017-06-10 (20:37:07 - 20:37:07)
[+nC] chubbo: chubbed
2017-06-10 (02:36:59 - 18:37:06)
[+nC] alternative hindsight: The tory manifesto may as well have been a huge banner saying "AIDS FOR EVERYONE!"
2017-06-09 (18:36:58 - 23:36:48)
[+nC] I said 'HEY KIDS, LISTEN TO THIS!', did a huge brumpo, and soiled myself
2017-06-09 (04:36:43 - 17:36:47)
[+nC] Dickhead Christmas: CANCELLED
2017-06-08 - 2017-06-09
[+nC] Theresa May Stands Before Nation, Pants Shitted
2017-06-08 (11:36:38 - 20:36:50)
[+nC] the worst controller of all time The Fat Controller from Thomas The Tank Engine. The Atari 5200's controller was anus too
2017-06-08 (07:36:38 - 09:36:46)
[+nC] Let's put a stop to Operation: Puppy Hammer and then work things out from there
2017-06-07 - 2017-06-08
[+nC] Dickhead Christmas
2017-06-06 - 2017-06-07
[+nC] DONGOSAURUS REX
2017-06-06 (07:36:25 - 11:36:25)
[+nC] I need to get an unqualified person to rap about my existence
2017-06-06 (00:36:34 - 06:36:35)
[+nC] If size matters to YOU choose GREG, he's a FIVE foot TEN beef WHISTLE
2017-06-01 - 2017-06-05
[+nC] FRANKIE WANKY
2017-06-01 (13:35:54 - 18:35:54)
[+nC] My Christian name is Anna, my Satanic name is Suck My Smelly Goatcunt 666
2017-05-30 - 2017-06-01
[+nC] the British dream of getting mum's house
2017-05-30 (16:36:42 - 18:35:41)
[+nC] a tight arse is it's own reward
2017-05-30 (15:35:37 - 15:35:37)
[+nC] ADMIRAL SACKSLAPPER
2017-05-29 - 2017-05-30
[+nC] I don't even like The Who.
2017-05-29 (11:35:28 - 13:35:32)
[+nC] my mum’s friend is coming around and i do botty feel up
2017-05-29 (00:35:25 - 09:35:37)
[+nC] this is one special needs pussy
2017-05-28 (17:35:24 - 23:35:23)
[+nC] i wanted anus, Do not involve Slightly Asshole
2017-05-28 (12:35:20 - 16:35:24)
[+nC] People who don't like Marmite are incontrovertibly correct, double no takesy backsies
2017-05-28 (11:35:30 - 11:35:30)
[+nC] People who don't like Marmite are objectively wrong
2017-05-28 (00:35:26 - 09:35:20)
[+nC] out of the fire, into a bucket of rms spunk
2017-05-26 - 2017-05-27
[+nC] Big ol' star wars chub
2017-05-26 (20:35:11 - 21:35:19)
[+nC] OH DEAR
2017-05-25 - 2017-05-26
[+nC] he's made himself about as popular as a solid fart
2017-05-25 (14:35:03 - 21:35:11)
[+nC] the food version of a green nylon tracksuit with purple accents
2017-05-24 - 2017-05-25
[+nC] shunting the toffee wagon
2017-05-24 (06:34:52 - 18:35:01)
[+nC] She says it's the new sleeping tablets, but i'm pretty sure it's Satan
2017-05-23 - 2017-05-24
[+nC] where tripping balls has reached a new level of ball based tripping
2017-05-23 (14:34:49 - 21:34:51)
[+nC] blundering around like a confused plank of wood in speedos
2017-05-23 (13:34:56 - 13:34:56)
[+nC] just imagine him as midget victor meldrew and roll with it
2017-05-23 (12:34:46 - 12:34:46)
[+nC] help I am trapped in trapped in the closet
2017-05-22 - 2017-05-23
[+nC] I mean, if you look at moon landings and availability of games consoles on a chart, there's deffo a pattern
2017-05-22 (14:34:42 - 20:34:52)
[+nC] Oh for gods sake, is this how I find out im colour blind
2017-05-21 - 2017-05-22
[+nC] I think Nintendo are going whatever their equivalent of Full Minter is
2017-05-21 (10:40:29 - 22:34:37)
[+nC] Also, tampons don't taste nice
2017-05-19 - 2017-05-21
[+nC] people are procedurally generated, but you know what I mean
2017-05-18 - 2017-05-19
[+nC] Super Bust Tidday
2017-05-17 - 2017-05-18
[+nC] green and phallic
2017-05-17 (11:40:18 - 15:40:07)
[+nC] balls deep in local council stuff
2017-05-16 - 2017-05-17
[+nC] I've been meowing Adam Buxton's Star Trek The Next Generation Song at Jeff Goldblum for the last ten minutes
2017-05-15 - 2017-05-16
[+nC] you would have thought it easy to not accidentally show your cock to twitter, but there you go
2017-05-15 (19:40:00 - 20:40:01)
[+nC] Today was pure, concentrated anus
2017-05-15 (10:40:00 - 18:40:00)
[+nC] A fox is a dog with cat firmware
2017-05-14 - 2017-05-15
[+nC] computers cant poo
2017-05-13 - 2017-05-14
[+nC] A big dildo with Trump's face
2017-05-13 (17:39:47 - 20:39:47)
[+nC] once I've embraced my identity as a cat lady, I will have a cat named after every cast member of Jurrassic Park
2017-05-11 - 2017-05-13
[+nC] Stick your dick in his firebox?
2017-05-11 (20:39:41 - 20:39:41)
[+nC] I sold all my brass dildos when I moved
2017-05-11 (14:39:39 - 18:39:38)
[+nC] Right my Donkey Kong name is Donkey Kong
2017-05-11 (12:39:38 - 13:39:42)
[+nC] I’ll not say that to his face though, because I was brought up in England.
2017-05-10 - 2017-05-11
[+nC] Scorpions need to chill the fuck out
2017-05-10 (15:39:44 - 21:39:34)
[+nC] I have a section of my website devoted to just recordings of my farts. I'm no lady.
2017-05-10 (11:39:33 - 14:39:28)
[+nC] well, I say ‘alive’, she’s a ruined and terrible form of life now. Mostly just dildos and crack.
2017-05-09 - 2017-05-10
[+nC] I seem to have fractured my hand by trying to punch a window closed
2017-05-09 (14:39:29 - 19:39:35)
[+nC] USE owl-carcass filled with piss on FIRE
2017-05-07 - 2017-05-09
[+nC] Le Pen has had to Le Fuck Off
2017-05-06 - 2017-05-07
[+nC] id be like thanks cockmonster
2017-05-06 (16:39:18 - 19:39:15)
[+nC] I suspect the only real effect this will have is me smelling like vinegar for the rest of the day
2017-05-06 (11:39:07 - 13:39:07)
[+nC] It is now completley impossible not to hear David Attenborough saying ‘big wobbly bongos’
2017-05-05 - 2017-05-06
[+nC] I'm going to have to explain to him that time is linear
2017-05-05 (11:39:04 - 18:39:05)
[+nC] The next government needs to get to grips with pens
2017-04-27 - 2017-04-28
[+nC] Face lips, not piss lips
2017-04-26 - 2017-04-27
[+nC] Young me just has slightly bugger eys
2017-04-26 (18:44:55 - 19:45:02)
[+nC] The Leeds train station smelled like shit which caused me to frown so hard that I gave myself a headache
2017-04-25 - 2017-04-26
[+nC] To the Frigmobile!
2017-04-25 (21:44:50 - 21:44:50)
[+nC] Chins don't necessarily extend all the way to the end of a beard
2017-04-25 (15:44:48 - 20:44:50)
[+nC] a sausage is a meat-banana
2017-04-25 (11:44:49 - 14:44:58)
[+nC] Is a "Stockport Burrito" a euphemism for some kind of disgusting sex act?
2017-04-24 - 2017-04-25
[+nC] I don't think robocop has an anus
2017-04-24 (18:44:45 - 19:44:46)
[+nC] I gotta cock
2017-04-24 (13:44:42 - 17:44:45)
[+nC] time to wipe pooey bum
2017-04-24 (06:44:51 - 12:44:42)
[+nC] Septegenarian Vegetarians are the fucking Worstatarian
2017-04-23 - 2017-04-24
[+nC] OH NO. YOUR BONGOS HAVE COME OUT!
2017-04-22 - 2017-04-23
[+nC] I wouldn't have thought toes would be dextrous enough to bring a penis to emission
2017-04-22 (09:44:30 - 20:44:32)
[+nC] rectomuffler, the new treatment for Anal Growling Syndrome
2017-04-21 - 2017-04-22
[+nC] frankly id be a little worried if my anus growled at me when i mess with it
2017-04-21 (16:44:32 - 18:44:27)
[+nC] we are all the pink aliens these days - we just want to sing mahna mahna and some idiot has to come along and try doing scat instead
2017-04-20 - 2017-04-21
[+nC] about as much use as a fishnet spacesuit
2017-04-19 - 2017-04-20
[+nC] Just give me a fiver and a baby and voila, cunt baby
2017-04-19 (15:44:27 - 20:44:18)
[+nC] The Big Dick Squad
2017-04-18 - 2017-04-19
[+nC] It was just a penis.
2017-04-18 (15:44:11 - 18:44:18)
[+nC] some sort of Cbeebies presenter gone rogue
2017-04-18 (13:44:12 - 13:44:12)
[+nC] there definitely seems to be bonus fuck today
2017-04-18 (00:44:08 - 12:44:10)
[+nC] you just love sysadmin so much you have to keep giving yourself more syses to admin
2017-04-17 (23:44:09 - 23:44:09)
[+nC] I also resent it for making me choose pooing out of the ‘pooing or drugs?’ choice.
2017-04-17 (21:44:17 - 22:44:07)
[+nC] I thought you’d enjoy seeing that jug again
2017-04-17 (20:44:08 - 20:44:08)
[+nC] : I'm more of a hilarious dick things person
2017-04-17 (00:44:03 - 19:44:08)
[+nC] General Madine, and General Madine's beard
2017-04-16 (22:44:03 - 22:44:03)
[+nC] Emergency Beard
2017-04-16 (19:44:13 - 20:44:02)
[+nC] The weird intersection of My Little Pony and fascism
2017-04-16 (14:44:02 - 16:44:02)
[+nC] laughing and jumping around like they're in a fucking tampon advert
2017-04-15 - 2017-04-16
[+nC] I feel like complete and utter stir-fried anus
2017-04-15 (15:43:58 - 21:43:55)
[+nC] just rub yourself with some pesto
2017-04-14 - 2017-04-15
[+nC] Like, yeah, you've got a fucked leg, but that doesn't mean you get to shit your pants
2017-04-14 (00:48:57 - 22:43:49)
[+nC] A FROG! I'MMA PISS IN THAT!
2017-04-13 (23:48:55 - 23:48:55)
[+nC] It's made of anus and looks like a winky!
2017-04-13 (21:48:55 - 21:48:55)
[+nC] I wasn't going to help, whatever you asked for I was going to make you a cock instead.
2017-04-13 (19:48:57 - 20:48:54)
[+nC] The sky arse and the cuntgunk
2017-04-13 (15:48:53 - 17:48:53)
[+nC] i don’t think the dog has powers of hiring and firing
2017-04-13 (12:48:53 - 13:48:53)
[+nC] Toasty McSplodo
2017-04-12 - 2017-04-13
[+nC] i’m sure the snake just burnt up on reentry
2017-04-11 - 2017-04-12
[+nC] Chris Hadfield has not explained how to poo in space
2017-04-11 (11:48:40 - 15:48:39)
[+nC] i just think of a dude motorboating a big ol set of tatas
2017-04-10 - 2017-04-11
[+nC] “it’s gone very bulgy”
2017-04-10 (19:48:37 - 19:48:37)
[+nC] notify sppoger
2017-04-10 (15:48:35 - 18:48:35)
[+nC] I got so paranoid about the slow cooker i left on at my house starting a house fire that i left the netherlands instead of watching the movie
2017-04-10 (12:48:37 - 14:48:36)
[+nC] Autocorrect loves the dick
2017-04-09 - 2017-04-10
[+nC] I just remembered when the front garden caught fire
2017-04-09 (21:48:33 - 22:48:32)
[+nC] Emergency bum rumblings could turn into emergency bum jumblings
2017-04-09 (18:48:31 - 20:48:32)
[+nC] Or you have fucked someone with an acid fanny
2017-04-09 (12:48:30 - 17:48:31)
[+nC] I didn't trap my anus in a folding table
2017-04-08 - 2017-04-09
[+nC] AMPICO
2017-04-08 (16:48:24 - 19:48:25)
[+nC] PSA: mirrors are not for fucking
2017-04-08 (12:48:34 - 15:48:24)
[+nC] I am the high priestess of the doctrine of poo
2017-04-07 - 2017-04-08
[+nC] the wheels on the bus smell of spaceman piss, spaceman piss, spaceman piss
2017-04-06 - 2017-04-07
[+nC] CARGLASS REPARIEREN! CARGLASS ERSETZEN!
2017-04-06 (17:48:16 - 19:48:16)
[+nC] load-bearing plum
2017-04-06 (13:48:12 - 16:48:13)
[+nC] Tell me about spaec, not your winky
2017-04-05 - 2017-04-06
[+nC] I just googled 'royalty free fart noises' then realised I can roll my own
2017-04-05 (21:48:16 - 21:48:16)
[+nC] The Daddy Discourse
2017-04-05 (18:48:07 - 20:48:08)
[+nC] and this is a winky: 8==)
2017-04-05 (17:48:07 - 17:48:07)
[+nC] It's pröbäbly her weird börky keyböärd
2017-04-05 (12:48:07 - 16:48:08)
[+nC] My new trousers have no pockets so I have to carry shit in my hands like a beast of the fields.
2017-04-04 - 2017-04-05
[+nC] Time to do one of the two bollocks
2017-04-04 (15:48:00 - 18:48:00)
[+nC] I'm going to punt his dicktip so hard it'll hit escape velocity and drift around the solar system until it finally burns up in Jupiter's atmosphere in several decades time
2017-04-04 (13:48:00 - 14:47:59)
[+nC] Old Lady Dick Poo Nose
2017-04-04 (09:47:59 - 12:48:00)
[+nC] Dogs have red knobs
2017-04-03 - 2017-04-04
[+nC] melon, inside and out
2017-04-03 (16:47:53 - 19:47:56)
[+nC] I don't think orcs would be happy with that battery life
2017-04-03 (15:48:03 - 15:48:03)
[+nC] fært
2017-04-03 (14:47:53 - 14:47:53)
[+nC] the official "Vote Labour 2015!" hedgehog
2017-04-03 (13:47:52 - 13:47:52)
[+nC] no-one’s ever dunched you in the doolybops then?
2017-04-02 - 2017-04-03
[+nC] sound form your cakehole
2017-04-02 (14:47:47 - 14:47:47)
[+nC] Just fucking play the best game ever you massive scrubulon
2017-04-02 (13:47:46 - 13:47:46)
[+nC] derpy wazzock
2017-04-01 - 2017-04-02
[+nC] Bernard's Number = 17
2017-04-01 (21:47:42 - 21:47:42)
[+nC] Tefal McBoffin
2017-04-01 (20:47:42 - 20:47:42)
[+nC] You've disturbed the Windows Chuntey
2017-04-01 (17:47:39 - 19:47:50)
[+nC] MY POOR ARSEHOLE
2017-03-31 - 2017-04-01
[+nC] standing in the bathroom for about 5 mins with my coinpurse stretched out, scratching it like I'm playing the world's most horrific banjo
2017-03-31 (18:47:33 - 22:47:33)
[+nC] My poop is adequate
2017-03-31 (09:47:32 - 17:47:42)
[+nC] they said I may need a poop transplant
2017-03-30 - 2017-03-31
[+nC] Anus business, perhaps?
2017-03-30 (16:06:48 - 21:06:48)
[+nC] Spider tube, spider tube. Filled with spiders, and with lube… I'll stop there I think
2017-03-30 (15:06:47 - 15:06:47)
[+nC] tactical colonoscopy
2017-03-30 (06:06:44 - 14:06:46)
[+nC] looks like an accident at the cum factory
2017-03-29 - 2017-03-30
[+nC] Brexit is a wish your bum makes
2017-03-28 - 2017-03-29
[+nC] "Danced without leaving room for Jesus?" to "Engaged in bestiality?"
2017-03-28 (16:06:32 - 22:06:32)
[+nC] you cannot predict all the ways computers can go fuck
2017-03-28 (14:06:32 - 14:06:32)
[+nC] I know a few flying shit receipients
2017-03-27 - 2017-03-28
[+nC] well, you're WEE-PEE-PEE-OH
2017-03-27 (18:06:25 - 20:06:25)
[+nC] You're a big, robot poop. You're arse-2-D2
2017-03-27 (11:06:22 - 17:06:25)
[+nC] Right, time to put my bra on and then go outside and run
2017-03-26 - 2017-03-27
[+nC] if you have had a piss in a dream and you wake up and haven’t pissed your bed you are extremely lucky
2017-03-25 - 2017-03-26
[+nC] at school there were inexplicably a couple of kids with tubas
2017-03-25 (14:06:18 - 14:06:18)
[+nC] the thing about being pissbabies is that eventually you just stink of piss all the time
2017-03-24 - 2017-03-25
[+nC] I'M TELLING TWITTER ON YOU
2017-03-24 (20:06:06 - 20:06:06)
[+nC] I feel like you're trying to figure out if I'm being clever or dumb and the answer is I am both at the same time
2017-03-24 (18:06:13 - 19:06:13)
[+nC] What unix window manager does Darth Vader use?
GNooOOoOoOOOooOooOoome
2017-03-24 (13:06:03 - 17:06:03)
[+nC] big fun buttons
2017-03-23 - 2017-03-24
[+nC] Any animal that lets another animal ride around on it is a fucking dunce
2017-03-23 (01:05:54 - 06:06:04)
[+nC] GAH my butt!
2017-03-22 - 2017-03-23
[+nC] I guess I'll probably sleep in my starship
2017-03-22 (17:05:53 - 21:05:53)
[+nC] stop being a fucking freeze-dried bollocks
2017-03-21 - 2017-03-22
[+nC] Remember when I built that robot that planted signs everywhere that read "BUTTS"
2017-03-21 (13:05:44 - 13:05:44)
[+nC] I feel like someone's proved my brobe
2017-03-21 (11:05:44 - 12:05:46)
[+nC] I'm pretty sure the thing I just dropped into the toilet is illegal under the terms of the Geneva convention
2017-03-21 (10:05:44 - 10:05:44)
[+nC] EVERYTHING SUCKS TIME TO DROWN MYSELF IN THE OVEN
2017-03-20 - 2017-03-21
[+nC] You can't tell me and my tiny anus what to do!
2017-03-20 (17:05:39 - 17:05:39)
[+nC] a load of cold wobbly translucent chicken fat : the next Labour Leader
2017-03-19 - 2017-03-20
[+nC] Guess I can't talk to Poo any more
2017-03-19 (02:05:25 - 15:05:30)
[+nC] Are the mechanics that different with a dildo?
2017-03-18 - 2017-03-19
[+nC] you’re getting to the age where if someone make you a theme tune it would involve the Tuba
2017-03-18 (12:05:22 - 20:05:23)
[+nC] Can't. Stop. Shitting.
2017-03-17 - 2017-03-18
[+nC] Wow, my room smells of farts
2017-03-17 (16:05:18 - 16:05:18)
[+nC] “Right and now we need a sort of kooky space cadet woman with a gentle and surreal sense of humour that’s not Mel. First name that pops into your head.” “Er.. Noel Fielding?”
2017-03-16 - 2017-03-17
[+nC] Yards of dick
2017-03-16 (13:05:08 - 18:05:09)
[+nC] You wouldn't download a bee
2017-03-15 - 2017-03-16
[+nC] they just piss all the time for fun
2017-03-15 (15:05:02 - 15:05:02)
[+nC] An apple without cheese is like a hug without a squeeze
2017-03-15 (13:05:00 - 14:05:03)
[+nC] delayed by shopping for buttplugs all morning
2017-03-14 - 2017-03-15
[+nC] Wetherspoons : several steps up from drinking meths in a dumpster
2017-03-14 (14:04:56 - 14:04:56)
[+nC] Wetherspoons is basically one step up from drinking meths in a dumpster
2017-03-14 (13:04:53 - 13:04:53)
[+nC] I've never put balls in my mouth
2017-03-14 (11:04:55 - 12:04:56)
[+nC] I like playing with testicles
2017-03-13 - 2017-03-14
[+nC] the penis demon in my party
2017-03-13 (16:04:48 - 20:04:49)
[+nC] set_analog_period_microseconds(Fuck_You) <SYNTAX ERROR>
2017-03-12 - 2017-03-13
[+nC] We should all switch to japanese decimal time
2017-03-12 (00:04:37 - 08:04:35)
[+nC] Fiery poops and dongs and shit
2017-03-10 - 2017-03-11
[+nC] La la la, la la la, you're a big stinky knob
2017-03-10 (11:03:11 - 12:04:32)
[+nC] What what, in the butt!
2017-03-09 - 2017-03-10
[+nC] Ace of Base are great... except for that whole being Nazis thing
2017-03-09 (11:03:12 - 22:03:05)
[+nC] It would have been really sweet, but she had used this opportunity to shit her pants
2017-03-07 - 2017-03-09
[+nC] Indiana Jones and the Necklace of Dicks
2017-03-07 (17:02:50 - 19:02:51)
[+nC] Your mum counts by using her tagnuts like an abacus
2017-03-06 - 2017-03-07
[+nC] there’s no fucking way I can do winky detection
2017-03-06 (14:02:43 - 16:02:43)
[+nC] The Mr Blobby wikipedia article is mostly about how much of a cunt he is
2017-03-06 (12:02:44 - 13:02:52)
[+nC] Bums, bums everywhere
2017-03-05 - 2017-03-06
[+nC] SLEEP IS FOR THE WEkk… dammit
2017-03-04 - 2017-03-05
[+nC] Tits, hats and microtransactions
2017-03-03 - 2017-03-04
[+nC] shit, fuck, custard, wank, and some knockers
2017-03-02 - 2017-03-03
[+nC] My minge isn't as pendulous as a scrote
2017-03-02 (11:02:16 - 11:02:16)
[+nC] Friends of Ham
2017-03-01 - 2017-03-02
[+nC] so ive been doing a lot of poos. just a LOT. like so many.
2017-03-01 (01:02:08 - 12:02:10)
[+nC] THE THICKENS PLOT
2017-02-28 - 2017-03-01
[+nC] I hate Hat Detective Man
2017-02-27 (23:02:01 - 23:02:01)
[+nC] Some rich idots asked us to shoot them into space, so we thought… sure, why the fuck not?
2017-02-27 (21:02:01 - 22:02:02)
[+nC] watermelon is the most prosaic and tedious of all the melons
2017-02-27 (17:01:58 - 20:02:00)
[+nC] I want the helium outside my anus
2017-02-27 (16:01:59 - 16:01:59)
[+nC] radical difference in sausage
2017-02-24 - 2017-02-27
[+nC] dickasses buttshop for losers
2017-02-24 (22:01:43 - 22:01:43)
[+nC] I’m just letting my body do its thing
2017-02-24 (21:01:38 - 21:01:38)
[+nC] I was a cunt to this koala
2017-02-24 (19:01:38 - 20:01:38)
[+nC] dignitas time
2017-02-24 (17:01:38 - 18:01:48)
[+nC] I DON’T READ DIRTY TREK FUCKING
2017-02-24 (14:01:38 - 16:01:39)
[+nC] Remember when Corbyn thought it was a good idea to tweet a pic of his face next to some text on a blank background?
2017-02-24 (10:01:38 - 13:01:37)
[+nC] I always wanted Gabby Logan to marry Tony Gubba
2017-02-23 - 2017-02-24
[+nC] I have never seen these yodelling pickles
2017-02-23 (22:01:33 - 22:01:33)
[+nC] I'd shit a bollard of solid fucking gelatin
2017-02-23 (12:01:30 - 21:01:33)
[+nC] I slipped and went cunt over breakfast
2017-02-22 - 2017-02-23
[+nC] I went to the shop and missed people being wrong about text editors
2017-02-22 (21:01:26 - 22:01:35)
[+nC] I'd buy a potato with 'WipEout' written on it if Sony sold it.
2017-02-22 (16:01:23 - 20:01:24)
[+nC] sounds like a couple of dildos
2017-02-22 (15:01:24 - 15:01:24)
[+nC] Unless something happened within the last few minutes, don't expect me to remember it
2017-02-22 (13:01:23 - 14:01:23)
[+nC] It was the man's buttocks, not his testicles
2017-02-22 (11:01:32 - 12:01:23)
[+nC] cat eyes for nipples
2017-02-21 - 2017-02-22
[+nC] pro being able to do squishy things with your chosen squishy things partner
2017-02-21 (17:01:16 - 21:01:18)
[+nC] Thingy Mary
2017-02-21 (15:01:16 - 16:01:16)
[+nC] Behold, I am Boss Tits. My name is Tits and I am Your Boss.
2017-02-21 (13:01:15 - 14:01:17)
[+nC] you god damn sputtering hog-eye
2017-02-20 - 2017-02-21
[+nC] No one is allowed to take the piss out of the name "Thargoid" while thinking "Klingon" is acceptable.
2017-02-20 (13:01:09 - 15:01:08)
[+nC] Car maintenance is rife with innuendo, what with all the shafts, flanges and big ends
2017-02-19 - 2017-02-20
[+nC] BUTTERDATA discovers a small amount of butter has been dispensed from a mystery orifice.
2017-02-17 - 2017-02-19
[+nC] Step three, I guess, is shag corpses. Or, at least, one specific corpse.
2017-02-16 - 2017-02-17
[+nC] Wait, you should just put a trombone in your anus
2017-02-16 (22:09:19 - 22:09:19)
[+nC] My mum keeps getting emails meant for a B&B in Kenya
2017-02-16 (20:09:18 - 21:09:19)
[+nC] yaml is all i care about right now
2017-02-14 - 2017-02-16
[+nC] Do not piss on my face for science
2017-02-14 (13:09:00 - 15:09:01)
[+nC] So the lady opens the box and Surprise Penis
2017-02-14 (00:08:55 - 12:09:09)
[+nC] Dick, cock, wang, schlong, dork, dong, winky, willy, zipper fish, pink oboe, bedflute, mutton musket, trouser snake, custard chucker, pump-action porridge-gun, old chap, fanny rat, plonker, clapper, chopper, spam javelin, pork sword, lamb lance, tubesteak...
2017-02-13 (21:09:05 - 23:08:58)
[+nC] Why is it, whenever I go in Cex, GAME, or Maplin, there's always some bloke who stinks of unwashed taint?
2017-02-13 (17:08:54 - 20:08:55)
[+nC] so does it take a lot of time, this cannabilism business?
2017-02-13 (16:08:56 - 16:08:56)
[+nC] My workplace has very good bog privacy
2017-02-13 (12:08:53 - 15:08:53)
[+nC] HIGH PERFORMANCE DICK
2017-02-13 (10:08:53 - 11:08:53)
[+nC] jesus fucking christ on a fart-powered pogo stick
2017-02-12 - 2017-02-13
[+nC] farting, swearing, frustrated spergonaut
2017-02-12 (20:08:48 - 21:08:50)
[+nC] you will die alone, in a bathroom, blood and undigested haribo streaming out of your arse
2017-02-12 (15:08:55 - 19:08:47)
[+nC] if i had my way lots and lots of people would be on fire
2017-02-12 (13:08:44 - 14:08:45)
[+nC] in all my years doing call centre work, I never spoke to a single person with an American accent that sounded like Lego Batman
2017-02-12 (01:08:42 - 12:08:44)
[+nC] Giraffe sodomy
2017-02-11 - 2017-02-12
[+nC] plenty of plants already look like dicks
2017-02-10 - 2017-02-11
[+nC] I wonder if me putting 1000 years into the "how long do I need it for" box fucked it?
2017-02-10 (10:08:29 - 14:08:30)
[+nC] alias sudo = "echo Probably not a good idea."
2017-02-09 - 2017-02-10
[+nC] ***silently hand them a poo emoji***
2017-02-09 (13:08:24 - 14:08:24)
[+nC] I'll wait until he's finally sacked or killed
2017-02-09 (12:08:24 - 12:08:24)
[+nC] FUCK DIDDLY WINKY
2017-02-09 (10:08:24 - 11:08:33)
[+nC] almost as much of an 'I hate my son' name as Clarence or Randolph
2017-02-08 - 2017-02-09
[+nC] I wonder how many radishes I could push up my bum
2017-02-07 - 2017-02-08
[+nC] I just out of the blue for no reason whatsoever loudly shouted “BUTTHOLES"
2017-02-07 (21:08:13 - 21:08:13)
[+nC] squatting on the meaty wang
2017-02-07 (18:08:13 - 20:08:12)
[+nC] 'I did not heed the warning that I would shit myself, so I shat myself all the way to work, rather than turn back and sit on the shitter' is not something you live down
2017-02-07 (17:08:13 - 17:08:13)
[+nC] ANUS
2017-02-07 (16:08:11 - 16:08:11)
[+nC] my doctor forbids me from participating in a butter wave
2017-02-06 - 2017-02-07
[+nC] Stuff it up your mutton tube and queef it at a passing policeman.
2017-02-06 (12:08:04 - 17:08:04)
[+nC] I need that to fund my dickhead lifestyle
2017-02-05 - 2017-02-06
[+nC] REHEATED PIZZA DAY FUCK YEAH
2017-02-04 - 2017-02-05
[+nC] Riot Bath
2017-02-04 (21:07:54 - 21:07:54)
[+nC] I’m the human equivilent of reheated pizza
2017-02-03 - 2017-02-04
[+nC] Who'd have a baby called Piers? Imagine holding your new baby son and saying 'let's call him Piers'
2017-02-03 (13:17:34 - 16:17:34)
[+nC] Some stuff my wife worked on just got presented at the UN. I'm sat here trying to get a pube out of my keyboard.
2017-02-02 - 2017-02-03
[+nC] Excellent anusing, anus
2017-02-02 (02:17:22 - 14:17:25)
[+nC] broken bones are essentially the price to be paid for taking up recreational abuse of kinetic energy
2017-02-01 - 2017-02-02
[+nC] I recorded a big fart today on my phone. Gonna polish that on Audacity tonight.
2017-02-01 (13:17:16 - 19:17:20)
[+nC] I'm sure we'll get back to bumtalk soon
2017-01-31 - 2017-02-01
[+nC] my arm is always sexy
2017-01-31 (20:17:12 - 20:17:12)
[+nC] DO YOU LIKE HAVING A WILLY
2017-01-31 (14:17:10 - 19:17:13)
[+nC] they're like 'My anus, she crazy,' said Sir Lunchalot
2017-01-30 - 2017-01-31
[+nC] Welcome to the AWARDs channel, AWARD or GTFO
2017-01-30 (12:17:05 - 12:17:05)
[+nC] we're talking about penises
2017-01-29 - 2017-01-30
[+nC] we’re not talking about penises
2017-01-29 (15:16:57 - 22:16:59)
[+nC] Looking at twitter is like opening a door that contains only screaming.
2017-01-28 - 2017-01-29
[+nC] nae cunt's going to be making sandwiches with a cucumber that's been slotted square up my grotbox
2017-01-28 (02:16:47 - 22:16:52)
[+nC] RIP John Hurt :(
FACT: Sharepoint is an anagram of "shite apron"
2017-01-28 (00:16:46 - 01:16:45)
[+nC] FACT: Sharepoint is an anagram of "shite apron"
2017-01-27 (23:16:45 - 23:16:45)
[+nC] the bad news is the at UK is TOTALLY FUCKED at Eurovision. Like, epically fucked
2017-01-27 (15:16:53 - 22:16:44)
[+nC] qualified gay engineer
2017-01-27 (14:16:41 - 14:16:41)
[+nC] Do bad things happen when you boil sperm?
2017-01-27 (12:16:42 - 12:16:42)
[+nC] I block the toilet every time I take a dump
2017-01-26 - 2017-01-27
[+nC] Face lips, not pisslips
2017-01-26 (16:16:36 - 17:16:36)
[+nC] you may be confusing jimmy saville with marlon brando
2017-01-26 (15:16:38 - 15:16:38)
[+nC] It's SFW as long as you work in a DICK FACTORY
2017-01-26 (12:16:35 - 14:16:35)
[+nC] UH OH! BATTERY AM FUCKER! DANGER! DANGER! HOT POTATO!
2017-01-25 - 2017-01-26
[+nC] You are a forry
2017-01-25 (16:16:28 - 19:16:29)
[+nC] OK, I bought meaty.wang
2017-01-25 (14:16:27 - 15:16:36)
[+nC] What the hell kind of hand job involves radishes?!
2017-01-25 (11:16:35 - 13:16:26)
[+nC] Without any balls on the table there's nothing to hold on to
2017-01-25 (00:16:21 - 10:16:25)
[+n] Without any balls on the table there's nothing to hold on to
2017-01-23 - 2017-01-24
[+n] 52% Crime!
2017-01-23 (17:16:20 - 17:16:20)
[+n] A witch wanks you off and tells you what your jizz splop portends
2017-01-23 (00:16:05 - 15:16:11)
[+n] They just looked at me. Then wrote down "had...dick..."
2017-01-22 (23:16:04 - 23:16:04)
[+n] exemplary bowel control
2017-01-22 (22:16:05 - 22:16:05)
[+n] I like Poxy Greg but not as much as Noncy Paul
2017-01-22 (13:16:01 - 21:16:13)
[+n] keyboard here is a metaphor for his anus
2017-01-21 - 2017-01-22
[+n] Look, if you cant fucking punch nazis, who can you punch
2017-01-21 (09:15:52 - 11:15:52)
[+n] "Let’s start!” FUCK A DICK WINDOWS
2017-01-21 (01:15:48 - 08:15:51)
[+n] Dick dick dick shit ass monkey fuckers?
2017-01-20 - 2017-01-21
[+n] I had a Subway and the bread was simultaneously dry and soggy, which was impressive.
2017-01-19 - 2017-01-20
[+n] if you're actually grinding dicks with another guy that's probably a bit gay
2017-01-19 (16:15:37 - 18:15:37)
[+n] Here, tinydick, have some of my copious dick matter.
2017-01-19 (12:15:35 - 15:15:36)
[+n] it's got 'synthetic DNA' in it which does... I dunno, something sciency.
2017-01-18 - 2017-01-19
[+n] only nerds are impressed by things like crazy variance
2017-01-18 (12:15:30 - 14:15:28)
[+n] Cunters gonna cunt
2017-01-17 - 2017-01-18
[+n] To be honest, Choco-docker definitely sounds like slang for anus.
2017-01-17 (15:15:22 - 16:15:21)
[+n] There’s definitely SOMETHING wrong with me
2017-01-17 (12:15:22 - 14:15:31)
[+n] Realistic mining of nuts filled with dick. Game of the year.
2017-01-17 (11:15:21 - 11:15:21)
[+n] I've just remembered how funny farting in the bath is
2017-01-16 - 2017-01-17
[+n] Popeye vs Dracula
2017-01-16 (20:15:15 - 21:15:14)
[+n] Bloody he'll autocorrect
2017-01-16 (15:15:16 - 19:15:16)
[+n] Does your cum taste of DOUBLECUM?
2017-01-16 (12:15:11 - 14:15:21)
[+n] belm begets belm
2017-01-15 - 2017-01-16
[+n] she whispered “You’re a poopy arse-winky” into my ear
2017-01-15 (19:15:10 - 21:15:07)
[+n] I dont care about the cap issue, its the leaking thats the problem
2017-01-15 (17:15:06 - 18:15:16)
[+n] O ;pve ot bit ot\s sicj a biclet
2017-01-15 (14:15:15 - 16:15:05)
[+n] Super Cockslap Turbo Deluxe
2017-01-14 - 2017-01-15
[+n] I'm in charge of the massive pack of haribo! That's like putting Wario in charge of the big bag of gold coins
2017-01-12 - 2017-01-14
[+n] Total Fucking Plum Syndrome
2017-01-12 (15:14:43 - 18:14:42)
[+n] i would also never pay to have someone pump shit up me arse on a whim, no matter how good the deal was
2017-01-12 (14:14:46 - 14:14:46)
[+n] He can't even follow the simple instruction "Go and sit on the shitter"
2017-01-12 (13:14:53 - 13:14:53)
[+n] on behalf of my intestines I apologise
2017-01-11 - 2017-01-12
[+n] an epic, 10 minute fart
2017-01-11 (01:14:43 - 14:14:36)
[+n] 2017 is already a lot better than 2016
2017-01-11 (00:14:32 - 00:14:32)
[+n] What's more interesting than piss?
2017-01-10 (23:14:42 - 23:14:42)
[+n] For YOU is horsemilk!
2017-01-10 (16:14:31 - 22:14:34)
[+n] WAVE WAVE
2017-01-10 (15:14:30 - 15:14:30)
[+n] carbonated spam being blown through a keyhole with an airhorn
2017-01-10 (14:14:40 - 14:14:40)
[+n] I spend half my life waiting for computers to fucking finish doing something
2017-01-09 - 2017-01-10
[+n] Sudden thought: you can send vampires through the post
2017-01-09 (16:14:39 - 19:14:29)
[+n] the scientific name for this is a capralamity, where attempts to avoid touching poop results in poo being spread around, creating a poo cascade.
2017-01-09 (15:14:31 - 15:14:31)
[+n] your naked bottom leaving a streak of something terrifying on the ceiling, you crying for help
2017-01-09 (13:14:28 - 14:14:28)
[+n] FART SPANGLED TROUSER
2017-01-08 - 2017-01-09
[+n] Cheese and James Sammich
2017-01-08 (01:14:17 - 12:14:20)
[+n] as appealing as a sock full of cold damp wank
2017-01-08 (00:14:16 - 00:14:16)
[+n] This is a dickache
2017-01-07 (15:14:14 - 23:14:12)
[+n] I'll settle for the 2 emotional states of anxiety and cumming, thank you very much.
2017-01-06 - 2017-01-07
[+n] Knobs that no-one knows what to do with
2017-01-06 (15:14:06 - 15:14:06)
[+n] Working from home is difficult when your big boy is constantly getting up to no good.
2017-01-06 (14:14:09 - 14:14:09)
[+n] My son, not my penis
2017-01-06 (12:14:03 - 13:14:15)
[+n] I guess in that respect intermittent cock is more realistic
2017-01-06 (11:14:04 - 11:14:04)
[+n] Like I said, anus reasons
2017-01-06 (09:14:03 - 10:14:15)
[+n] Bottoms on the Window?
2017-01-05 - 2017-01-06
[+n] ALIGENS! IN A GIANT WOODEN MUSHROOM
2017-01-05 (15:13:56 - 22:13:59)
[+n] chances are good that your next piss will be through your hog's eye
2017-01-05 (12:13:59 - 14:14:08)
[+n] an inescapably scrotal bag
2017-01-05 (11:13:57 - 11:13:57)
[+n] smells pleasantly ball-y
2017-01-04 - 2017-01-05
[+n] multipurpose wang
2017-01-04 (13:13:51 - 15:13:50)
[+n] infinitely superior to up-your-own-arse-useless
2017-01-04 (12:13:50 - 12:13:50)
[+n] If we kissed on the mouth, we'd form an 8m tube with an anus at each end
2017-01-04 (11:13:49 - 11:13:49)
[+n] "pop-eye" sounds like an anus word
2017-01-03 - 2017-01-04
[+n] I hate to admit this but I was lying, Southampton isn’t a French word at all.
2017-01-03 (15:13:53 - 15:13:53)
[+n] Shittlebricks
2017-01-03 (13:13:44 - 14:13:54)
[+n] Sticklebricks: STILL fucking shit.
2017-01-01 - 2017-01-03
[+n] sticklebricks are fucking shit
2016-12-31 - 2017-01-01
[+n] You could smell her fanny a mile away
2016-12-30 - 2016-12-31
[+n] An exhaust pipe is more like a car's arsehole than a car's fanny
2016-12-30 (14:13:15 - 21:13:16)
[+n] his porcine lightsaber
2016-12-29 - 2016-12-30
[+n] Like Zuck and the other Facebook guys, but coats
2016-12-29 (11:13:07 - 12:13:09)
[+n] Baguettes are a massive turd
2016-12-29 (02:13:00 - 10:13:04)
[+n] I immediately thought you were somehow eating pasta under the blankets in a fart filled bed for some reason
2016-12-29 (00:13:03 - 01:13:03)
[+n] A Dreadful Incident
2016-12-28 (23:13:02 - 23:13:02)
[+n] Cannibalism is actually legal. It's the murder part that's illegal.
2016-12-28 (21:13:01 - 22:13:13)
[+n] even fucking jon belushi didn’t survive partying with john belushi
2016-12-28 (01:12:59 - 20:13:01)
[+n] your toot exit hole is under load
2016-12-27 - 2016-12-28
[+n] BUH
2016-12-27 (15:12:53 - 19:12:55)
[+n] Daily Mail spunklords
2016-12-25 - 2016-12-27
[+n] It’s Christmas, hide here, on the Internet, where it’s safe
2016-12-24 - 2016-12-25
[+n] tooty balloon knot = farty anus
2016-12-24 (00:12:28 - 01:12:27)
[+n] chimbopud
2016-12-23 (21:12:24 - 23:12:28)
[+n] betwixt
2016-12-22 - 2016-12-23
[+n] a poo which will make it instantly appear at the doorstep in an impatient courier's hands
2016-12-22 (10:12:18 - 15:12:19)
[+n] fines up to $2,500 per egg if you're caught smuggling
2016-12-21 - 2016-12-22
[+n] Regular Balls
2016-12-21 (16:12:10 - 20:12:09)
[+n] Why do I have a bunch of files called dicksplash in /tmp?
2016-12-20 - 2016-12-21
[+n] I've scanned for TV channels and I can only get ITV. This is not optimal.
2016-12-19 - 2016-12-20
[+n] Þe Epic Saga of the Man Who Had to Goe to the Shoppe Like a Goddamne Cunte
2016-12-17 - 2016-12-19
[+n] It’s the name of a burger. I’m not talking about my penis.
2016-12-16 - 2016-12-17
[+n] as long as you got to the orgy you’re good
2016-12-16 (15:11:36 - 16:11:43)
[+n] please don’t start a butter wave. this is realtalk now.
2016-12-16 (14:11:35 - 14:11:35)
[+n] It just looks like an FTL capable Toblerone
2016-12-15 - 2016-12-16
[+n] I just wanted to find poo where poo should not be, things shall wobble and wobbly be.
2016-12-15 (13:11:29 - 15:11:26)
[+n] seriously though if I shit myself in the cinema I will be VERY UNHAPPY
2016-12-15 (10:11:25 - 12:11:26)
[+n] qwork week
2016-12-14 - 2016-12-15
[+n] seriously though how the fuck is skeletor supposed to talk without lips
2016-12-14 (15:11:19 - 16:11:20)
[+n] I have tried hard to not laugh at other people's misfortune
2016-12-13 - 2016-12-14
[+n] I hallucinated you had a vasectomy
2016-12-13 (14:11:13 - 21:11:13)
[+n] And now you have monkey AIDS
2016-12-12 - 2016-12-13
[+n] I want to put my turgid erection between your shit-smeared buns
2016-12-12 (13:11:05 - 14:11:02)
[+n] you're a people
2016-12-12 (12:11:15 - 12:11:15)
[+n] I butter things
2016-12-12 (11:11:07 - 11:11:07)
[+n] can't believe we've been talking about brothels and no-one's made a yo mama joke
2016-12-10 - 2016-12-12
[+n] I want to affix the Billy to the wall
2016-12-10 (17:10:53 - 17:10:53)
[+n] a cheeky bonus nap is basically crack for people in their 40s
2016-12-10 (00:10:47 - 16:10:49)
[+n] poo party
2016-12-09 (16:10:46 - 23:10:47)
[+n] From crypto to bumholes in a single line
2016-12-09 (12:10:43 - 15:10:45)
[+n] I admit I drank apple juice a couple times a day
2016-12-09 (11:10:54 - 11:10:54)
[+n] i mean i saw a lot of poos
2016-12-08 - 2016-12-09
[+n] matthew is a people name!!
2016-12-07 - 2016-12-08
[+n] Empreror Plapplaptine
2016-12-07 (17:10:30 - 21:10:34)
[+n] did not supply secret
2016-12-06 - 2016-12-07
[+n] I needed a shower. I had the balliest balls
2016-12-06 (22:10:25 - 22:10:25)
[+n] ZUB ZOOP HOOB
2016-12-06 (13:10:32 - 21:10:37)
[+n] One Of The Biggest Channels On This IRC Server
2016-12-06 (00:10:21 - 12:10:35)
[+n] wankblocked by a sudden brainfart about football related chubbly tumescence
2016-12-05 (15:10:18 - 23:10:20)
[+n] Gary Lineker Makes My Tits Erect
2016-12-04 - 2016-12-05
[+n] Super Dickmans Thick Nuts
2016-12-03 - 2016-12-04
[+n] if you don’t preparing to leaving
2016-12-02 - 2016-12-03
[+n] It's too early for me to be actually working. I need to sit here for an hour drinking coffee and going "bluuuuuurgh" first.
2016-12-01 - 2016-12-02
[+n] I think that Santa thing has legs
2016-12-01 (00:09:48 - 16:09:53)
[+n] I feel like there would be a rhythmic noise of clown horn if you were fucking a clown
2016-11-30 (15:09:47 - 23:09:47)
[+n] so the universe isn’t magic then, except for the EM drive and Paracetamol.
2016-11-30 (13:09:47 - 14:09:43)
[+n] we're now going to embark on a discussion of how many whales you'd need for you to be able to survive purely on whale jizz
2016-11-29 - 2016-11-30
[+n] the US has a president that has the progressiveness of Hitler, the propriety of the Borgias and the wits of that guy who won a darwin award chopping his own head off with a chainsaw
2016-11-27 - 2016-11-29
[+n] one of the farts wasn't a fart. It was surprise liquid
2016-11-27 (14:09:24 - 21:09:27)
[+n] In the future you will be able to order hula hoops on Prime and sit there with a funnel in your mouth as a drone flies through your window and dumps them right into your face
2016-11-27 (00:09:30 - 13:09:22)
[+n] one can only assume that her maiden name was Gashface-McSaggybaps
2016-11-26 (15:09:13 - 23:09:19)
[+n] Description: pissed off, trigger: dropped my pie
2016-11-24 - 2016-11-26
[+n] THIS IS A COURT ORDER, IT SAYS YOU CANT EAT SHIT ANYMORE
2016-11-24 (09:09:00 - 18:09:15)
[+n] alas poor yorick! he was my homeboy, horatio; a fellow of like total jest, totally tubular
2016-11-23 - 2016-11-24
[+n] Sick of shitting in a sock? Fed up with all the bottles of piss under your desk? Soil yourself like a PRO with GAMERNAPPY.
2016-11-23 (18:09:07 - 20:09:09)
[+n] gamer bro nappy
2016-11-23 (11:08:54 - 17:08:59)
[+n] The Satanic equivalent of Jell-O
2016-11-23 (00:08:48 - 10:08:57)
[+n] dicked up by a nice fat winky
2016-11-21 - 2016-11-22
[+n] MAKE BUTTS FART AGAIN
2016-11-21 (15:08:43 - 16:08:55)
[+n] The...door in the door. For a cat.
2016-11-21 (14:08:43 - 14:08:43)
[+n] but yeah, old people have grubes
2016-11-20 - 2016-11-21
[+n] I've never shouted "Tree!" and "Cunt!" so much before though
2016-11-19 - 2016-11-20
[+n] Is your CPU fan full of pubes?
2016-11-17 - 2016-11-19
[+n] bright yellow angular tumescent penis
2016-11-17 (13:08:17 - 14:08:16)
[+n] PENIS WEENIS WASHING MACHINUS
2016-11-16 - 2016-11-17
[+n] I am Nace Pani'c, CEO and founder of OTO The Massage Shagger
2016-11-15 - 2016-11-16
[+n] they are bum eyes
2016-11-14 - 2016-11-15
[+n] Gamergate are in charge of America
2016-11-14 (10:07:56 - 20:08:00)
[+n] Having no testicles doesn't stop you selling sperm; it just stops you selling *your* sperm.
2016-11-13 - 2016-11-14
[+n] supridingly [unchy
2016-11-13 (00:07:56 - 21:07:50)
[+n] I mean, fuck...This whole thing is fucking ridiculous without him also being called PRESIDENT FLATULENCE
2016-11-12 (22:07:44 - 23:07:56)
[+n] I'm going to stink the hotel thing out with my rank, shitty arse
2016-11-12 (20:07:47 - 21:07:46)
[+n] that’s still a lot of cash to stuff into your penis though
2016-11-12 (19:07:39 - 19:07:39)
[+n] Yay for genital trauma!
2016-11-11 - 2016-11-12
[+n] WANKPUFFIN
2016-11-11 (12:10:39 - 13:10:37)
[+n] violate the "never yank yourself off to anything you don't want to be found dead in front of" rule
2016-11-11 (11:10:36 - 11:10:36)
[+n] I didn't realise that voting for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Off Party would get my face eaten off by a leopard!
2016-11-10 - 2016-11-11
[+n] Is that a ballsack or something?
2016-11-10 (18:10:35 - 21:10:33)
[+n] I haven't been enhornied by coffee shop minge talk, I just fancy a wank
2016-11-09 - 2016-11-10
[+n] You can always count on #bibeogaem for cocking right about in a crisis.
2016-11-09 (17:10:26 - 22:10:26)
[+n] Trump stole my Tovertoblerovertone chunks
2016-11-09 (16:10:25 - 16:10:25)
[+n] CHOVERTOCOVERTOLATE
2016-11-09 (13:10:27 - 15:10:24)
[+n] OK, we're definitely in the "Biff" timeline now
2016-11-08 - 2016-11-09
[+n] I definitely don't browse donkey cock porn on my work laptop
2016-11-08 (14:10:17 - 21:10:18)
[+n] 'better drink more spunk'
2016-11-07 - 2016-11-08
[+n] ben stinks for me
2016-11-07 (21:10:21 - 22:10:13)
[+n] Hairy Ballsacks offer Hairy Balls
2016-11-07 (20:10:12 - 20:10:12)
[+n] Eat my wank, universe!
2016-11-05 - 2016-11-07
[+n] It has rudes in it. It has a rude word. The rude word is 'bollocks'."
2016-11-03 - 2016-11-05
[+n] Dick and cock certainly have their place but sometimes penis is just better
2016-11-03 (16:09:49 - 16:09:49)
[+n] CUNTY FUCKITY CUNT-FUCKING ARSE-FLAPPING CUNT-SACKS
2016-11-03 (11:09:55 - 15:09:40)
[+n] you ballsed up your XML, you daft prick
2016-11-02 - 2016-11-03
[+n] I have a dickmesh you can use
2016-11-02 (16:09:41 - 16:09:41)
[+n] At least he remembered to wear pants
2016-11-02 (00:09:36 - 15:09:36)
[+n] toss a winky
2016-11-01 (17:09:35 - 23:09:32)
[+n] not spek pranny
2016-11-01 (12:09:35 - 16:09:33)
[+n] epic squirrel slaughter bender
2016-10-31 - 2016-11-01
[+n] I've always wondered why anyone would use any other agency for SEO than the one that appears at the top of the Google results for "seo".
2016-10-30 - 2016-10-31
[+n] Winkle Sprinkle
2016-10-30 (21:09:19 - 21:09:19)
[+n] I know, people probably died, but cooool
2016-10-30 (17:09:18 - 20:09:31)
[+n] ANUS, CLEARLY
2016-10-30 (00:09:18 - 16:09:20)
[+n] The man punched the flying winky!
2016-10-29 (01:09:12 - 23:09:10)
[+n] Can I just say I’m geting a stiffy
2016-10-29 (00:09:06 - 00:09:06)
[+n] Business Time
2016-10-28 (15:54:25 - 23:09:09)
[+n] cvod nugget
2016-10-28 (13:54:23 - 14:54:22)
[+n] This is an actual carpet, not pubes.
2016-10-28 (10:54:26 - 12:54:22)
[+n] macOS is basically Emacs: The Operating System
2016-10-27 - 2016-10-28
[+n] if you want to avail completion
2016-10-27 (14:54:20 - 14:54:20)
[+n] : Well penises are cool too but I'm not giving that to my brother
2016-10-27 (12:54:16 - 13:54:18)
[+n] Rectums & Dicks?
2016-10-27 (09:54:28 - 11:54:16)
[+n] WOOB
2016-10-26 - 2016-10-27
[+n] I've never been too farty to sleep.
2016-10-25 - 2016-10-26
[+n] dick n balls salad
2016-10-24 - 2016-10-25
[+n] The trifle just won a clock
2016-10-21 - 2016-10-24
[+n] protest cripsts
2016-10-21 (11:53:40 - 19:53:38)
[+n] when paedos were public enemy number one, and we called it ‘paedogeddon’, those were actually happier times.
2016-10-21 (10:53:40 - 10:53:40)
[+n] shitting his pants, reaching into the back of them, then putting his shitfingers on his face
2016-10-20 - 2016-10-21
[+n] A certain person is a right bumder
2016-10-20 (15:53:28 - 22:53:31)
[+n] That's a fucking tenner I spent on making sure everyone knew he liked balls.
2016-10-20 (12:53:32 - 14:53:30)
[+n] Obama could tell me that it would be best for the world for me to sand my dick 'n' balls off, and I'd fucking consider it.
2016-10-20 (10:53:32 - 11:53:27)
[+n] Suck my tiny dick, I'm a fucking spaceman.
2016-10-18 - 2016-10-20
[+n] 'in your bum, Plum'
2016-10-18 (14:53:26 - 14:53:26)
[+n] you can bash like fuck on the bulb
2016-10-18 (13:53:24 - 13:53:24)
[+n] I did a massive brumpo and they both ran off
2016-10-18 (09:53:18 - 12:53:18)
[+n] looks like a hippy's fleshlight
2016-10-17 - 2016-10-18
[+n] Bumholey breakfast is superb
2016-10-17 (14:53:14 - 14:53:14)
[+n] If zoophilia is distasteful, Dr Keith may pork cunts instead
2016-10-17 (11:53:10 - 13:53:18)
[+n] Manky rectum might be forthcoming
2016-10-16 - 2016-10-17
[+n] I found a slide rule in my junk
2016-10-15 - 2016-10-16
[+n] let’s get you off that wet dog and into a dry donkey
2016-10-14 - 2016-10-15
[+n] a wok seems uniquely unsuitable as a barf splatter containment system
2016-10-13 - 2016-10-14
[+n] sploshing out piss-rythms
2016-10-13 (12:16:49 - 14:16:58)
[+n] He sounds puzzled as he says, "But I didn't cum".
2016-10-12 - 2016-10-13
[+n] Teapot spout winky
2016-10-11 - 2016-10-12
[+n] a little nappy made from a cut-up jamrag
2016-10-10 - 2016-10-11
[+n] I'm not trusting any farts this evening
2016-10-10 (22:16:29 - 22:16:29)
[+n] I think calling Rolf Harris a "cunt" to his face was a highlight for me
2016-10-10 (21:16:30 - 21:16:30)
[+n] I propose we rename the UK to "Fucking Plumtopia"
2016-10-10 (20:16:30 - 20:16:30)
[+n] actually I regard everything I can do as easy
2016-10-10 (13:16:38 - 19:16:43)
[+n] I’m in charge of halloween this year. In our house. Not globally.
2016-10-09 - 2016-10-10
[+n] you bring a pack of tapes to the till and they know you really want to visit the fuck robot in the back
2016-10-09 (11:16:21 - 20:16:26)
[+n] OH HO HO HOOOOOO sex
2016-10-08 - 2016-10-09
[+n] complete a supertug!
2016-10-08 (19:16:30 - 22:16:19)
[+n] nothing says FUCK OFF like a bigass padlock
2016-10-08 (18:16:16 - 18:16:16)
[+n] ICEPICK
2016-10-07 - 2016-10-08
[+n] Haaaaa someone with the surname "tugwell" just emailed me at work
2016-10-06 - 2016-10-07
[+n] I want my nob fodled
2016-10-05 - 2016-10-06
[+n] why would anyones muff smell like dog food?
2016-10-04 - 2016-10-05
[+n] Haha balls: Ꮗ
2016-10-04 (20:15:52 - 20:15:52)
[+n] 屪
2016-10-04 (16:15:51 - 19:15:52)
[+n] TOO SHLOW
2016-10-03 - 2016-10-04
[+n] GET IN THE PIPE YOU ITALIAN CUNT
2016-10-02 - 2016-10-03
[+n] It was like wading into a 100 puppies while wearing steel toecap work boots
2016-10-01 - 2016-10-02
[+n] 'Arse' is of little concern
2016-09-30 - 2016-10-01
[+n] What's "yewtree" in Japanese?
2016-09-30 (15:15:23 - 22:15:22)
[+n] fat controller’s sex dungeon
2016-09-30 (12:15:24 - 14:15:24)
[+n] someone who could shit infinitely might be handy in terrafroming mars tbh
2016-09-29 - 2016-09-30
[+n] I use cucumber scrub on my anus
2016-09-29 (21:15:16 - 21:15:16)
[+n] lion gets its head stuck in a hippo’s arse
2016-09-29 (10:15:22 - 20:15:17)
[+n] I'm not being helpful, I'm being an insufferable know-it-all smartarse. The helpfulness is a mere side-effect.
2016-09-29 (00:15:20 - 09:15:14)
[+n] I couldn't cut the old geezer's bit clean off
2016-09-28 (22:15:11 - 23:15:10)
[+n] how do you art?
2016-09-28 (15:15:10 - 21:15:09)
[+n] Stop wanking? Then what's the bloody point of working from home?!
2016-09-28 (14:15:18 - 14:15:18)
[+n] If you pull this off, I will reward you with lovely bum fun
2016-09-27 - 2016-09-28
[+n] 'it's fucked, dunno lol'
2016-09-26 - 2016-09-27
[+n] I am surprised by the relative paucity of winky
2016-09-26 (21:14:55 - 21:14:55)
[+n] Direct me to the nearest anus so I may suck it
2016-09-26 (18:14:55 - 20:15:07)
[+n] meat is just vegetables with poop filtered out
2016-09-26 (15:14:53 - 17:14:53)
[+n] Tonight I'll ask the neighbours if they know where Dicksplash Cottage is
2016-09-26 (11:14:54 - 14:14:52)
[+n] I don't want to put raisins in a curry because I am not a hairdresser from the 70s
2016-09-26 (10:14:52 - 10:14:52)
[+n] Plum-faced plums with a Plum bell
2016-09-24 - 2016-09-26
[+n] I have now used an entire toilet roll clearing up the goo
2016-09-24 (13:14:49 - 13:14:49)
[+n] I suspect the answer to the question ”Is this a less offensive form of golliwog?” is always going to be ”not enough to matter”
2016-09-23 - 2016-09-24
[+n] I have mastered the art of making 3d models that look like pig inseminators
2016-09-23 (15:14:32 - 20:14:36)
[+n] Sudden thought: dog tetris. Is that a thing?
2016-09-22 - 2016-09-23
[+n] "legal tender" is mostly a phrase used by Scottish people in English shops
2016-09-22 (15:14:37 - 16:14:24)
[+n] Noel Edmonds is about one notable event from going full David Icke
2016-09-21 - 2016-09-22
[+n] Frozen diarrhoea looks like chocolate
2016-09-21 (20:14:21 - 21:14:25)
[+n] Chocolate looks like frozen diarrhea.
2016-09-21 (15:14:20 - 19:14:25)
[+n] [WASH YOUR BALLS AND ANUS]
2016-09-21 (13:14:30 - 14:14:26)
[+n] tbh I have a pretty high tolerance for people being boring because I tend to view other humans as subjects in a lab experiment
2016-09-20 - 2016-09-21
[+n] you do not currently contain any peeno, noir or otherwise
2016-09-20 (21:14:19 - 21:14:19)
[+n] all the dev wank I need
2016-09-20 (14:14:14 - 20:14:15)
[+n] today I have been using regex : GUESS HOW PLEASED I AM
2016-09-19 - 2016-09-20
[+n] I guess it's all down to how sexily you can lisp
2016-09-19 (19:14:09 - 19:14:09)
[+n] Ok, it was morning. So I probably wasn't high
2016-09-19 (12:14:11 - 18:14:21)
[+n] Refrigerated bowls of winkies, gently pulsing as electrical current is passed through them.
2016-09-18 - 2016-09-19
[+n] answers are good, answers to the question I fucking asked would be better
2016-09-18 (20:14:04 - 20:14:04)
[+n] my first instinct is to deploy massive scrotum
2016-09-18 (00:13:58 - 19:14:14)
[+n] midnight eggchat is my pacific rim jaeger name
2016-09-16 - 2016-09-17
[+n] I feel a spreadsheet coming on
2016-09-15 - 2016-09-16
[+n] Bullseye is great because the questions are piss easy and all the contestants look like paedophiles.
2016-09-15 (15:13:45 - 21:13:49)
[+n] George lucas is to storycraft what Rob Liefeld is to human anatomy
2016-09-15 (10:13:46 - 14:13:43)
[+n] Now 'giving a pencil' is looking like a euphemism for dicking
2016-09-14 - 2016-09-15
[+n] Do I actually need a poo or am I just bored?
2016-09-14 (08:13:43 - 14:13:42)
[+n] Male, I wish to preserved sugar-fruit mix in cyberspace with videogame player cattle drivers
2016-09-13 - 2016-09-14
[+n] dick + mum = tallest thing
2016-09-13 (15:13:40 - 21:13:39)
[+n] stuck the spout of the teapot up their bumbum and farted stink-bubbles through the tea
2016-09-13 (04:13:33 - 14:13:46)
[+n] Froward_ is now known as enormous_sensual_mongoose
2016-09-12 - 2016-09-13
[+n] straight outta Craggy Island
2016-09-11 - 2016-09-12
[+n] well, in the spirit of educating the youth I am happy to exploit the shit out of them
2016-09-11 (18:13:29 - 21:13:28)
[+n] Now I can't put anything up my bum any more
2016-09-09 - 2016-09-11
[+n] I'd rather do a poo straight up in the air and have it land in my eye than go camping
2016-09-09 (14:13:15 - 20:13:19)
[+n] nails and poo is the same
2016-09-08 - 2016-09-09
[+n] think I'll go have a wnak
2016-09-08 (12:13:11 - 14:13:11)
[+n] KUCNTH TIME
2016-09-08 (11:13:22 - 11:13:22)
[+n] everyone out of the dick kitchen
2016-09-07 - 2016-09-08
[+n] disabled by default For Anus Reasons
2016-09-07 (14:13:08 - 15:13:05)
[+n] Actually tbh it's totally unclear why he needs so many brummy rastas but I assume it'll help with the cause of global socialism
2016-09-06 - 2016-09-07
[+n] I got invited onto a podcast to talk about my little tool
2016-09-06 (15:07:55 - 19:07:58)
[+n] I think farts are the funniest thing to come out of a bumhole.
2016-09-06 (14:07:57 - 14:07:57)
[+n] rectal borborygmus
2016-09-06 (13:07:59 - 13:07:59)
[+n] No I'm hungry, ducks can get cunted
2016-09-05 - 2016-09-06
[+n] Jingle Jangle Town and Jesus Tits City both went tits up
2016-09-04 - 2016-09-05
[+n] Without the 'pram I'm basically an insatiable wank-gorgon
2016-09-04 (12:07:48 - 12:07:48)
[+n] Like when I wrote “FUCK” in massive letters on the shed roof
2016-09-02 - 2016-09-04
[+n] I ate some weedkiller. Tasted like salt. Probably explains a lot, to be honest.
2016-09-01 - 2016-09-02
[+n] understand the grease penis
2016-08-31 - 2016-09-01
[+n] cutting up a poo with a credit card and then snorting a line of poo with a hundred pound note
2016-08-30 - 2016-08-31
[+n] People, we've strayed from the point, here. I want to go out as God intended: by eating doughnuts until either either hit the LD50 of one or more ingredient, explode, or suffocate in lard.
2016-08-29 - 2016-08-30
[+n] I'm listening to björk singing in English, and every now and again I too understand a couple of words
2016-08-28 - 2016-08-29
[+n] why is belgium?
2016-08-28 (20:07:01 - 20:07:01)
[+n] ROBNOT WARN
2016-08-27 - 2016-08-28
[+n] dabbing cacography onto my knickers
2016-08-25 - 2016-08-27
[+n] Lower the shelves or embiggen the noels
2016-08-25 (14:06:40 - 14:06:40)
[+n] defiantly stiff and unyielding
2016-08-25 (11:06:40 - 13:06:39)
[+n] I went for a shite last night and never came back
2016-08-24 - 2016-08-25
[+n] I tried to sort it out with the brush, but I just ended up turning it into Nasty Soup and ruining the brush
2016-08-24 (10:06:39 - 14:06:38)
[+n] jizz arc parabola
2016-08-23 - 2016-08-24
[+n] Gah fucking dog dick bullshit hat
2016-08-21 - 2016-08-23
[+n] my penis went a bit weird when I bent it
2016-08-19 - 2016-08-21
[+n] I FARTED OUT OF MY DICK. THAT'S MY TWO FAVOURITE THINGS COMBINED
2016-08-18 - 2016-08-19
[+n] He was Florence Nightengale to his brother's shitting arse
2016-08-18 (14:06:04 - 14:06:04)
[+n] Are you Peter the Balls?
2016-08-18 (12:06:03 - 13:06:02)
[+n] I will admit, I found it a lot funnier when I was stoned off my tits
2016-08-18 (11:06:03 - 11:06:03)
[+n] the next day his brother had to help him shit by holding a stream of water on his asshole with the hose
2016-08-17 - 2016-08-18
[+n] Have none of you ever put something in your mouth because you thought 'I wonder what this would feel like in my mouth'?
2016-08-17 (16:05:58 - 16:05:58)
[+n] And the support guys have fucked off for a mutual wank in the toilet. They've even taken their bag of M&Ms with them, cunts.
2016-08-17 (15:05:58 - 15:05:58)
[+n] Oh, speaking of genitals.
2016-08-17 (09:05:57 - 14:05:58)
[+n] I guess I scared them off with the threat of willies and farting
2016-08-17 (00:05:56 - 08:06:03)
[+n] You seem to have somehow bound the piss emitter to the top bone of the boner?
2016-08-16 (21:05:54 - 23:05:54)
[+n] what does this mean? Willy injury?
2016-08-14 - 2016-08-16
[+n] 2016 is weird. I swear we've integer overflowed and now the maths of the simulation are going all weird
2016-08-13 - 2016-08-14
[+n] a documentary about a man with an alarmingly gargantuan schlong
2016-08-13 (21:05:35 - 21:05:35)
[+n] Around the World in 80 Shites
2016-08-13 (20:05:34 - 20:05:34)
[+n] 3 years, 18 weeks and a day of politics, bibeogaems, SPAEC, autism, poo-chat, and butterwaves. Happy Birthday Bibeogaem!
2016-08-12 - 2016-08-13
[+n] I fiddle with mine if I let it grow
2016-08-11 - 2016-08-12
[+n] the gay space rocks super show
2016-08-11 (11:05:27 - 20:05:19)
[+n] while my moobs are pert and full they aren't much of a source of milk
2016-08-11 (10:05:26 - 10:05:26)
[+n] This is like when I said 'spunk-proof windscreen' on Twitter then realised that's just a windscreen
2016-08-10 - 2016-08-11
[+n] I’m crashingly dull.
2016-08-10 (11:05:13 - 13:05:22)
[+n] Do I want a banana or am I just bored
2016-08-09 - 2016-08-10
[+n] I guess his anus problems proved ultimately fatal there :(
2016-08-09 (10:05:15 - 15:05:08)
[+n] I signed up because I want to try to make a poo-themed team
2016-08-08 - 2016-08-09
[+n] I once threatened my daughter by telling her I was going to stuff her back up her mother
2016-08-08 (14:05:02 - 15:05:02)
[+n] I know this is an attempt to be friendly but fuck me, it's boring
2016-08-08 (13:05:03 - 13:05:03)
[+n] splashed by the information firehose
2016-08-08 (12:05:17 - 12:05:17)
[+n] dingdong bollocks poo
2016-08-07 - 2016-08-08
[+n] I’ve very goos at shooting
2016-08-07 (12:05:06 - 14:05:05)
[+n] Meet & Fuck: The Queen
2016-08-07 (11:05:00 - 11:05:00)
[+n] This is why I can't watch pornography from the 80s/90s. I'm always spotting old PCs and shit in the backgrounds and it puts me off.
2016-08-06 - 2016-08-07
[+n] I have to be the voice of responsibility 8 hours a day, this is my refuge of idiocy
2016-08-05 - 2016-08-06
[+n] GTARTZ
2016-08-04 - 2016-08-05
[+n] So that time I made a necrophilia joke at a nice dinner party wasn't cool or something
2016-08-04 (14:04:44 - 14:04:44)
[+n] and that’s why *you’re* in the sperg bucket
2016-08-04 (11:04:42 - 13:04:47)
[+n] Crabs are a convenient pet because you can carry them around with you
2016-08-03 - 2016-08-04
[+n] Rectal mucus overdrive time
2016-08-02 - 2016-08-03
[+n] It's 2016, everyone puts 50 willies up their bums before breakfast
2016-08-02 (10:27:02 - 20:27:05)
[+n] pick up my assignment of balls
2016-08-01 - 2016-08-02
[+n] a winky attachment for your spack spoons
2016-08-01 (16:27:00 - 18:27:01)
[+n] today has been a rotating piss-soaked fuck
2016-07-31 - 2016-08-01
[+n] non-ass resolution
2016-07-31 (14:26:51 - 20:27:03)
[+n] I need to make a Sims Fritzl dungeon
2016-07-30 - 2016-07-31
[+n] that’s a fancy french way of saying “I bring the sploosh”
2016-07-29 - 2016-07-30
[+n] That'll give you bum jumble
2016-07-29 (13:26:40 - 20:26:43)
[+n] Hitler was made of biscuits
2016-07-27 - 2016-07-29
[+n] good luck with your nuts full of guts
2016-07-26 - 2016-07-27
[+n] Fried pie that its shape like male's dick
2016-07-25 - 2016-07-26
[+n] Dicks are basically like a Twix inside
2016-07-25 (16:26:27 - 17:26:15)
[+n] burt my bum
2016-07-25 (12:26:20 - 15:26:15)
[+n] Politics, racism and rubber ovipositors are like tossing argument grenades
2016-07-24 - 2016-07-25
[+n] empirically more fun than stones in the dick I guess
2016-07-24 (18:26:25 - 19:26:15)
[+n] Not now, daddy's high
2016-07-23 - 2016-07-24
[+n] I'm autistic, of course I find bland greyness fun
2016-07-23 (00:26:06 - 22:26:08)
[+n] shut up you cuntarse
2016-07-22 (23:26:14 - 23:26:14)
[+n] Kirk fists Uhura with a tribble?
2016-07-22 (17:26:07 - 22:26:04)
[+n] You find out what things are called when they start hurting like fuck
2016-07-21 - 2016-07-22
[+n] she's new. You can tell because there's still a glimmer of hope in her eye
2016-07-21 (15:09:56 - 15:09:56)
[+n] LET'S BE LIKE ISRAEL isn't generally a good answer to anything
2016-07-21 (13:10:03 - 14:09:52)
[+n] the tube that goes from my nose to my anus is basically fucked
2016-07-21 (12:09:54 - 12:09:54)
[+n] Disregard me, I eat ploppies
2016-07-20 - 2016-07-21
[+n] monkeys are expendable
2016-07-20 (15:09:50 - 15:09:50)
[+n] Hang on, did Iran launch a monkey into space recently or did I dream that.
2016-07-20 (12:09:45 - 14:09:56)
[+n] 1 Attachment: NUTSACK.STL
2016-07-19 - 2016-07-20
[+n] this is why dick murder punishment is insufficient
2016-07-19 (13:09:45 - 21:09:44)
[+n] PVC pipe not penis pipe
2016-07-19 (12:09:43 - 12:09:43)
[+n] violate your hippopotamus
2016-07-18 - 2016-07-19
[+n] Christmas is great, you miserable bastards. Sit in a chair and eat too much while wearing a stupid fucking hat.
2016-07-15 - 2016-07-18
[+n] TurkishBathServices
2016-07-15 (16:09:24 - 20:09:23)
[+n] Put up a big sign that says "WASH YOUR BALLS AND ANUS"
2016-07-15 (13:09:20 - 15:09:22)
[+n] I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think China is in the EU
2016-07-15 (09:09:21 - 12:09:20)
[+n] yeh i would visit a cemetery if i could get some
2016-07-14 - 2016-07-15
[+n] I don't think there's anything trapped in my dick. That's something
2016-07-14 (16:09:22 - 19:09:15)
[+n] He landed on one of my shoes and injured his dick on the buckle.
2016-07-14 (15:09:12 - 15:09:12)
[+n] I was thinking more of the jollop
2016-07-14 (12:09:13 - 14:09:14)
[+n] Mine's well grubby. It needs a clean.
2016-07-12 - 2016-07-14
[+n] Protip: Googling "jocks" doesn't give you page after page of comedy Scotsmen
2016-07-12 (16:09:06 - 20:09:14)
[+n] I'm not the one who tried to issue git commands to a bunch of poo obsessed mutants
2016-07-12 (15:09:01 - 15:09:01)
[+n] SHA LA LA LA PENIS SHA LA LA LA PENIS
2016-07-12 (11:09:01 - 14:09:11)
[+n] there's one rule: MINGE BURGER
2016-07-11 - 2016-07-12
[+n] Growly Pissman
2016-07-11 (12:08:59 - 12:08:59)
[+n] I hope I get to find a corpse too
2016-07-10 - 2016-07-11
[+n] It’s danish and creepy as fuck but not in a spiders way
2016-07-10 (15:08:48 - 21:08:48)
[+n] The michael gove turd mouth adventure
2016-07-10 (14:08:58 - 14:08:58)
[+n] 100 quid for a cardboard cox
2016-07-09 - 2016-07-10
[+n] YOU DUMB FUCK
2016-07-09 (13:08:45 - 15:08:45)
[+n] Oh God, Corbyn's the CD32, isn't he?
2016-07-08 - 2016-07-09
[+n] hm, balls
2016-07-08 (17:08:43 - 20:08:40)
[+n] I can confirm that I did not put my dick up the cat
2016-07-07 - 2016-07-08
[+n] It's time to get the shorts out, it's dick-sucking weather
2016-07-07 (12:08:33 - 14:08:35)
[+n] I'm eating a hairy carrot
2016-07-06 - 2016-07-07
[+n] One penis! Two penis! Ah. Ah. Ah.
2016-07-06 (11:08:37 - 14:08:36)
[+n] The noise AND banging.
2016-07-05 - 2016-07-06
[+n] may have never been touched the before
2016-07-04 - 2016-07-05
[+n] I did not eat a pooey apple
2016-07-03 - 2016-07-04
[+n] Dungarees, the mullet of pants
2016-07-02 - 2016-07-03
[+n] I can't imagine it would be easy to make semen foamy.
2016-07-01 - 2016-07-02
[+n] brb gonna jump around in the toilets for a bit
2016-07-01 (11:08:13 - 11:08:13)
[+n] I hope to get a customer's hand up my arse any day now
2016-06-30 - 2016-07-01
[+n] He fucks gorillas?
2016-06-30 (11:08:03 - 15:07:53)
[+n] TBH I would be tempted to stick a telescope up your winky
2016-06-29 - 2016-06-30
[+n] my friend accidentally burned his flat down while playing monopoly
2016-06-29 (13:07:53 - 15:07:50)
[+n] Brexit? Fuck that shitxit
2016-06-29 (10:07:51 - 12:07:52)
[+n] Ok, you can keep the semi
2016-06-28 - 2016-06-29
[+n] All that's going to do is ruin the custard
2016-06-28 (17:07:50 - 20:07:57)
[+n] Sausage dripping
2016-06-28 (13:07:47 - 15:07:57)
[+n] Vi = press a key and a load of bollocks appears, a swarm of bees buzzes, eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead
2016-06-28 (11:07:55 - 11:07:55)
[+n] A side order of Jenkins
2016-06-27 - 2016-06-28
[+n] I gotta go before I shit myself
2016-06-27 (12:07:43 - 13:07:50)
[+n] you're suddenly struck by the realisation you're a meat entity and not just a floating ethereal brain
2016-06-26 - 2016-06-27
[+n] I just want to shitpost and Boris Johnson ruined everything
2016-06-26 (18:26:18 - 22:26:20)
[+n] your GP must be on first name terms with your junk by now
2016-06-26 (13:26:17 - 15:26:18)
[+n] Does it smell cummy?
2016-06-25 - 2016-06-26
[+n] Someone just killed and teabagged me in ESO :(
2016-06-24 - 2016-06-25
[+n] Also I will never reveal the first name of my money
2016-06-24 (10:26:16 - 20:26:03)
[+n] So that's 3.1% of the UK working population eating quim all week for a year
2016-06-23 - 2016-06-24
[+n] Oh, fuck me. Tony Blair held up a sign. I'm all over that.
2016-06-23 (11:26:13 - 11:26:13)
[+n] i had to draw my wife a picture of our kids peen that shows her how to grab his foreskin to clean the jnk
2016-06-22 - 2016-06-23
[+n] that famous football potato
2016-06-21 - 2016-06-22
[+n] Dang, I've been using the word 'chode' for years under the impression it was a perineum.
2016-06-21 (13:26:02 - 13:26:02)
[+n] just because a ninja and murder them first
2016-06-20 - 2016-06-21
[+n] He's so far down the spectrum, you need a radio telescope to communicate with him
2016-06-20 (13:25:47 - 13:25:47)
[+n] I hungrily straddled his huge tower of compressed glans-meat and mewed erotically
2016-06-19 - 2016-06-20
[+n] Mama mia! It's a spunkin' winkle!
2016-06-19 (21:25:52 - 21:25:52)
[+n] Haha, remember at the start of the year when everyone said 'well, it can't be worse than 2015!'
2016-06-19 (15:25:54 - 19:25:43)
[+n] operation shite through his letterbox is go
2016-06-18 - 2016-06-19
[+n] Rick Astley is back!
2016-06-18 (02:25:33 - 13:25:48)
[+n] i’m disappointed that wasn’t a picture of rupert murdoch in a balloon.
2016-06-17 (15:25:32 - 23:25:44)
[+n] I may as well be working with a 7 ft inflatable penis
2016-06-17 (13:25:40 - 13:25:40)
[+n] EAT THE ARSE TOMATOES
2016-06-16 - 2016-06-17
[+n] you have to hold aggro by using your flappy bastard move
2016-06-16 (20:25:36 - 20:25:36)
[+n] but the internet isn't full of proper people
2016-06-16 (17:25:25 - 19:25:37)
[+n] How much dick does £30 get you?
2016-06-16 (12:25:34 - 15:25:31)
[+n] I already have an air pooper
2016-06-15 - 2016-06-16
[+n] Have you just rammed a cucumber up your snapper?
2016-06-15 (13:25:31 - 13:25:31)
[+n] they're launching an orbital cannon that can fire actual Hitlers at the Earth
2016-06-14 - 2016-06-15
[+n] I sort of miss paedogeddon though
2016-06-14 (17:25:26 - 22:25:30)
[+n] Could you trick your brain into thinking your anus is far away?
2016-06-14 (11:25:12 - 16:25:27)
[+n] Well, you're getting a hatcam full o' dick
2016-06-12 - 2016-06-14
[+n] too excited about getting some good sausage later
2016-06-12 (13:25:11 - 19:25:10)
[+n] sneezing is one thing but sneezing and smelling like a fart is probably another.
2016-06-11 - 2016-06-12
[+n] I am perfectly capable of smashing items I do not own
2016-06-11 (11:24:59 - 14:25:10)
[+n] Has anyone ever noticed the word 'turd' in Saturday?
2016-06-10 - 2016-06-11
[+n] Surprise visit from Mr Jobbie.
2016-06-10 (12:25:03 - 12:25:03)
[+n] An actual hat, not your foreskin
2016-06-10 (11:25:02 - 11:25:02)
[+n] YOU HAVE BEEN GLUMPSED
2016-06-10 (10:24:51 - 10:24:51)
[+n] The closest I've ever come to VR is the 3D ViewMaster
2016-06-09 - 2016-06-10
[+n] man plums are amazing
2016-06-09 (12:24:50 - 14:24:55)
[+n] a logical fuck route
2016-06-09 (11:24:57 - 11:24:57)
[+n] Never underestimate the permanence of a temporary solution
2016-06-08 - 2016-06-09
[+n] As you might of guest
2016-06-07 - 2016-06-08
[+n] like an actual helmet
2016-06-07 (20:24:49 - 20:24:49)
[+n] Well, the streisand effect works. I hadn't seen them until you told me Axl Rose didn't want me to see them
2016-06-07 (19:24:48 - 19:24:48)
[+n] It's the one donkey he couldn't fuck. But there he is, nuts deep in that donkey's twat.
2016-06-07 (17:24:36 - 17:24:36)
[+n] Who's made of pure anus?
2016-06-07 (13:24:37 - 16:24:36)
[+n] He's made out of pure anus
2016-06-07 (11:24:37 - 12:24:38)
[+n] I'm not fucking the plum. I draw a line somewhere.
2016-06-06 - 2016-06-07
[+n] I've seen Dune about 14 times but I still have no idea what the hell happens in that film
2016-06-05 - 2016-06-06
[+n] Human scrotum in a relaxed state (left) and a tense state (right)
2016-06-05 (19:24:38 - 21:24:38)
[+n] I did a crazy leap onto a boat whilst nuking 3 motherfuckers with my flamethrowing dulcimer, which was great
2016-06-05 (11:24:33 - 18:24:36)
[+n] even Gone Home made me shit myself and that's only about lesbians
2016-06-04 - 2016-06-05
[+n] i like how you gave up farting AFTER you finished living with me FOR YEARS
2016-06-03 - 2016-06-04
[+n] The penis thing, not your dinner
2016-06-02 - 2016-06-03
[+n] oooooooooooooooooooh you have a wiiilllllyyyy
2016-06-01 (21:24:09 - 23:24:06)
[+n] doubly bummy
2016-06-01 (14:24:04 - 20:24:15)
[+n] merely a gigantic purple glowing penis with petrol engine
2016-06-01 (12:24:17 - 13:24:14)
[+n] i) pollen ii) trigeminal nerve reaction to sunlight iii) sneezeplague
2016-05-31 - 2016-06-01
[+n] We all nrtdplit
2016-05-31 (12:24:11 - 21:24:09)
[+n] Oh wait, I have my phone. I can look up winky holes on that.
2016-05-29 - 2016-05-31
[+n] I've never looked at a jar of nutella the same way since
2016-05-29 (12:23:58 - 12:23:58)
[+n] when I was not getting any and very into the content of alt.sex.wizards
2016-05-29 (11:23:50 - 11:23:50)
[+n] I do not want to be immersed in a tub of spunk
2016-05-27 - 2016-05-29
[+n] My main server is winky
2016-05-27 (11:23:47 - 14:23:38)
[+n] So if you have "shit shit shit" and you run "s/shit/plops/" you'll just get "plops shit shit"
2016-05-25 - 2016-05-27
[+n] No-one else manages to unintentionally suddenly be pants free
2016-05-25 (15:43:44 - 15:43:44)
[+n] GIT GUD, HEGGO!
2016-05-25 (09:43:45 - 14:43:45)
[+n] this is why I like D&D. It's like playing a text adventure except the text parser takes dumps and occasionally wnaks
2016-05-24 - 2016-05-25
[+n] It's really hard to take a photo of your anus with an iPhone
2016-05-24 (13:43:42 - 14:43:40)
[+n] Its squirty knob was out of alignment.
2016-05-23 - 2016-05-24
[+n] do not create the fart orb
2016-05-21 - 2016-05-23
[+n] I'll watch that in a minute... I'm doing a Serious Shit here
2016-05-21 (19:43:22 - 20:43:22)
[+n] they still boobily boob around with a frequency disconcerting
2016-05-21 (17:43:18 - 18:43:15)
[+n] that's an unusual flowchart exit
2016-05-21 (16:43:23 - 16:43:23)
[+n] the ultimate german curse, it's not even an efficient tity
2016-05-20 - 2016-05-21
[+n] I don't know how you stop 2 year olds touching butts
2016-05-20 (08:43:13 - 18:43:17)
[+n] a buttplug, a bottle of tobasco, and the super mario theme tune
2016-05-19 - 2016-05-20
[+n] define "rad place"
2016-05-19 (12:43:10 - 14:43:10)
[+n] WOAG
2016-05-18 - 2016-05-19
[+n] when he's back from dick leave
2016-05-18 (16:43:06 - 17:43:07)
[+n] I don't like having butt-liquid pouring out of me
2016-05-18 (15:43:06 - 15:43:06)
[+n] I ordered 5 fake poos off Amazon once
2016-05-18 (10:43:07 - 14:43:05)
[+n] a cunt-rich exodus
2016-05-18 (09:43:05 - 09:43:05)
[+n] That's why I've bought my Vive! It's like an inverted burka!
2016-05-18 (08:43:03 - 08:43:03)
[+n] Reason for absence: I had the trots
2016-05-17 - 2016-05-18
[+n] well if you want to fuck some cheese then go nuts
2016-05-16 - 2016-05-17
[+n] If I can get him to glitter his lid then I count this as a win
2016-05-16 (12:42:54 - 14:42:53)
[+n] COCNUT CHUTNEY
2016-05-16 (08:42:52 - 11:42:54)
[+n] Like quantum leap, but with a total fucking plonker
2016-05-15 - 2016-05-16
[+n] a song about russia being bastards is this year's beard
2016-05-13 - 2016-05-15
[+n] HEY REMEMBER THAT TIME WE ALL FUCKED IN THE DESERT
2016-05-13 (12:42:34 - 19:42:39)
[+n] being sent home from work because your arse can't behave
2016-05-13 (11:42:38 - 11:42:38)
[+n] Has your butthole even let you go back to work yet?
2016-05-12 - 2016-05-13
[+n] and their song is worse than the Assassin's Creed movie trailer
2016-05-12 (16:42:32 - 18:42:27)
[+n] a load of IRC shit
2016-05-11 - 2016-05-12
[+n] KEEP AGGRO, TITFLAP
2016-05-10 - 2016-05-11
[+n] Gah, I want a wank (not from thinking about cannibalism)
2016-05-10 (21:42:19 - 21:42:19)
[+n] can you show us on the crying talking singing walking living doll where he touched you
2016-05-10 (16:42:18 - 20:42:21)
[+n] Cunt off you silly cunts
2016-05-09 - 2016-05-10
[+n] I just realised that in order to use my magical wanking ring I have to stick my finger in a dead guy's hoop
2016-05-09 (10:42:08 - 20:42:13)
[+n] In fairness, BEEF PASTE does sound a bit like the name for the follow-through when you beef
2016-05-08 - 2016-05-09
[+n] i mean i like pinball but i don't want to kiss it on the mouth
2016-05-08 (18:42:03 - 22:42:04)
[+n] Actually I kinda want the Nuns Having Fun Wall Calendar
2016-05-07 - 2016-05-08
[+n] apart from the damage you have an excellent scrotum
2016-05-07 (01:41:57 - 19:41:59)
[+n] Could I trick my brain into thinking I had a willy?
2016-05-06 - 2016-05-07
[+n] THREE...TWO...ONE...ZERO! NAKED DANCE!
2016-05-06 (15:41:51 - 17:41:50)
[+n] ok so that means fanny
2016-05-06 (12:41:51 - 14:41:51)
[+n] well, a few of you have children and are under the impression your darlings matter
2016-05-06 (09:41:48 - 11:41:47)
[+n] The nearest I'm going to get to VR for a while is 3DS porn^Wgames on the toilet
2016-05-05 - 2016-05-06
[+n] The nearest I'm going to get to VR for a while is 3DS games on the toilet
2016-05-05 (14:41:45 - 19:41:47)
[+n] if you're a poopy heggo, that means you're a poop with a poop on its head
2016-05-04 - 2016-05-05
[+n] thank you for Lax-o-facts!
2016-05-04 (18:41:44 - 22:41:45)
[+n] Hoorj! My hoop finally fucking works!
2016-05-03 - 2016-05-04
[+n] grabbing the toj
2016-05-03 (20:41:38 - 20:41:38)
[+n] NOT THAT KIND OF STOOL YOU POO OBSESSED FIENDS
2016-05-03 (14:41:34 - 19:41:37)
[+n] yeh im not jizzing anywhere CLOSE to a bird
2016-05-03 (11:41:36 - 13:41:33)
[+n] You'll be okay with a HDPE cockwrap
2016-05-02 - 2016-05-03
[+n] I know a few Fannies in Sweden
2016-04-30 - 2016-05-02
[+n] He was wanking it to Matt Damon
2016-04-29 - 2016-04-30
[+n] i wasn't wanking it to matt damon
2016-04-29 (15:59:44 - 17:59:46)
[+n] Ah, I have a throbbing left nut, it must be Tuesday.
2016-04-29 (10:59:50 - 14:59:46)
[+n] Doing horrific things is satisfying regardless of the setting (unless it's your pants)
2016-04-28 - 2016-04-29
[+n] and what's a spaceship but a submarine with an explosion on the back
2016-04-28 (12:59:43 - 19:59:42)
[+n] Ken Livingstone is STILL locked in a disabled toilet while journalists shout questions about Hitler
2016-04-28 (09:59:39 - 11:59:36)
[+n] just generally wallowing in fail
2016-04-27 - 2016-04-28
[+n] libavcodec/ass_split.o
2016-04-27 (14:59:35 - 14:59:35)
[+n] "you wave a cock that's hundreds of times larger than I am near me I'm going to react pretty badly too
2016-04-26 - 2016-04-27
[+n] I loved playing audio thingie with my own dongs
2016-04-26 (20:59:33 - 22:59:28)
[+n] I managed to actually kill people this time, so that was nice
2016-04-25 - 2016-04-26
[+n] botty hotters
2016-04-25 (15:59:22 - 21:59:22)
[+n] porn of non-euclidean women
2016-04-25 (10:59:22 - 14:59:25)
[+n] My downstairs area is huge
2016-04-25 (09:59:25 - 09:59:25)
[+n] Autism and Star Wars
2016-04-24 - 2016-04-25
[+n] Why does my shit smell like bananas?
2016-04-23 - 2016-04-24
[+n] less strict on the whole 'don't make your customers shit themselves' thing
2016-04-22 - 2016-04-23
[+n] it's like "really expensive riding boots" huge
2016-04-22 (14:59:04 - 14:59:04)
[+n] I always read "indeed" in teal'c's voice these days
2016-04-22 (13:59:05 - 13:59:05)
[+n] On the upside you handled your flu better than Prince.
2016-04-21 - 2016-04-22
[+n] i hold out my hand, give a little squeeze and poof: Big red balls.
2016-04-21 (11:59:01 - 19:59:00)
[+n] No one argues if you say you've got the shits
2016-04-20 - 2016-04-21
[+n] I know several Fannies
2016-04-20 (12:58:49 - 18:58:54)
[+n] I'm a meat robot.
2016-04-19 - 2016-04-20
[+n] float my rigidbody on your vertical axis
2016-04-18 - 2016-04-19
[+n] a pointy piece of poo poked my anus
2016-04-18 (17:58:44 - 17:58:44)
[+n] how the fuck do internet??
2016-04-18 (15:58:39 - 16:58:44)
[+n] They're like the "I live in the future" moments, but weirder, with more dick 'n' balls
2016-04-17 - 2016-04-18
[+n] taking in water through my mouth and expelling it through my anus
2016-04-17 (00:58:34 - 17:58:38)
2016-04-16 (16:58:30 - 23:58:35)
[+n] cause of death: rolled a 1
2016-04-16 (13:58:33 - 15:58:28)
[+n] I don't want people to think I'm pro-fascism but basically this is going to be a fascism simulator
2016-04-15 - 2016-04-16
[+n] Hi ho, hi ho, it's up a bum we go
2016-04-14 - 2016-04-15
[+n] they fucked the donkey then made it head of logistics
2016-04-14 (12:58:20 - 14:58:20)
[+n] everything smells like dirty turds
2016-04-14 (10:58:19 - 11:58:20)
[+n] I BLOCK U, U BASTARD
2016-04-12 - 2016-04-14
[+n] nerd shit and bum talk
2016-04-12 (12:58:04 - 13:58:04)
[+n] I wish he was a jrpg. I'd take him CEX and trade the fucker in
2016-04-12 (11:58:06 - 11:58:06)
[+n] : It's hard to work out where the woo woos are coming from sometimes.
2016-04-11 - 2016-04-12
[+n] shitpost or gtfo
2016-04-11 (17:58:02 - 21:58:00)
[+n] my arse literally quacked
2016-04-11 (16:57:59 - 16:57:59)
[+n] HOMO TIME
2016-04-10 - 2016-04-11
[+n] Nutty truncheon time
2016-04-09 - 2016-04-10
[+n] cluck cluck that's the sound of the pollos
2016-04-09 (13:57:48 - 15:57:48)
[+n] big beefy arms, tiny tiny legs
2016-04-08 - 2016-04-09
[+n] it smells like a spring onion farted in here
2016-04-08 (12:57:40 - 13:57:45)
[+n] Not that the discussion of farts has made me hungry. Well, only a little bit. 'Beefer' sounds delicious.
2016-04-08 (10:57:43 - 11:57:45)
[+n] It's titty or tantrums for B2. Much like his dad.
2016-04-06 - 2016-04-08
[+n] if you're stood there like a prize pud just slapping away at your balls you're gonna have a bad time
2016-04-06 (16:57:33 - 18:57:29)
[+n] My banana's gone weird and all sorts of juice has come out of the end
2016-04-05 - 2016-04-06
[+n] It’s a farting hairy chicken nugget that is flying through space
2016-04-04 - 2016-04-05
[+n] i'm still sad for all the possible ornithology jokes that laid on the ground unused
2016-04-04 (16:57:21 - 21:57:24)
[+n] 700 quid's an annoyingly large amount to exist in a quantum superstate
2016-04-04 (11:57:20 - 15:57:22)
[+n] This is basically the same thing but with sorcery instead of sexytimes.
2016-04-04 (09:57:17 - 10:57:14)
[+n] cogito ergo shitpost
2016-04-04 (08:57:16 - 08:57:16)
[+n] Damn that whimsical ensemble
2016-04-02 - 2016-04-04
[+n] i just looked at my turd cutter in a mirror :( i wish i hadn't
2016-03-31 - 2016-04-02
[+n] meaty breakfasty balls
2016-03-31 (15:56:46 - 20:56:48)
[+n] tbh i kind of want to do a big shit at the top of the shard as well
2016-03-30 - 2016-03-31
[+n] digduck instead of dogdick
2016-03-30 (17:56:46 - 20:56:46)
[+n] Because I'll die laughing of BURP POO
2016-03-30 (11:56:43 - 16:56:46)
[+n] MichaelBay: all the explosions are my fault
2016-03-29 - 2016-03-30
[+n] The Best mid-shite face I ever saw on a baby
2016-03-29 (18:56:41 - 20:56:42)
[+n] turns out betting your company on a minority of unrelenting cuntbags is not a sound business decision
2016-03-28 - 2016-03-29
[+n] I've figured out the bum-mapping
2016-03-28 (20:56:38 - 21:56:35)
[+n] might be a little late in the day for a bum wave
2016-03-28 (19:56:37 - 19:56:37)
[+n] I have to breastfeed the cat
2016-03-28 (16:56:36 - 18:56:37)
[+n] they pulled a Father Dick Byrne on us
2016-03-28 (15:56:37 - 15:56:37)
[+n] buttella
2016-03-27 - 2016-03-28
[+n] Nic Cage driving a car made of tits
2016-03-26 - 2016-03-27
[+n] …this will turn to penises soon
2016-03-26 (22:56:25 - 22:56:25)
[+n] Was it the cock and balls dog?
2016-03-26 (20:56:27 - 21:56:22)
[+n] I think about Bane a lot
2016-03-26 (19:56:28 - 19:56:28)
[+n] I'M GONNA PUT THIS UP YOUR BUM-ARSE
2016-03-26 (18:56:21 - 18:56:21)
[+n] Bishops love sci-fi!
2016-03-24 - 2016-03-26
[+n] a vauxhall nova in space
2016-03-23 - 2016-03-24
[+n] egg egg, motherfuckerrrr!
2016-03-23 (12:55:56 - 17:55:58)
[+n] I just ran forward, flailing about, and yelling "CUUUUUNT" for a few seconds.
2016-03-22 - 2016-03-23
[+n] bra and pancr
2016-03-21 - 2016-03-22
[+n] having a willy is just too ordinary. I want four floppy strands of dick jerky
2016-03-21 (19:55:52 - 21:55:53)
[+n] Isn’t Boaty McBoatface a ship though?
2016-03-21 (17:55:50 - 18:55:51)
[+n] In zero G, I'd imagine the spray zone of bisto-arse would be more conical in nature than it is here
2016-03-21 (16:55:49 - 16:55:49)
[+n] I've often thought that twisting a wet flannel up my arse would do the trick
2016-03-19 - 2016-03-21
[+n] Pubes caught in knicker fabric and discombobulated my flaps.
2016-03-18 - 2016-03-19
[+n] Poopy wave!
2016-03-18 (12:55:25 - 16:55:26)
[+n] it's like Rod Hull said! Nothing is impossible! Except surviving falling off a ladder!
2016-03-18 (09:55:25 - 11:55:27)
[+n] I actually had a dream last night involving you and poo!
2016-03-17 - 2016-03-18
[+n] I don’t want to put someone else’s shit on my face
2016-03-17 (20:55:23 - 20:55:23)
[+n] Seriously though I *know* cancer isn’t funny but… magicians really are.
2016-03-17 (12:55:26 - 19:55:24)
[+n] nobody ever told me i could turn beef twisting into a career
2016-03-16 - 2016-03-17
[+n] Arse like a nutella sandwich
2016-03-15 - 2016-03-16
[+n] order a trophy that says "worst trophy shop" and never go collect it
2016-03-15 (21:55:09 - 22:55:13)
[+n] POOPINGTON McPOOPLEPANTS
2016-03-15 (19:55:08 - 20:55:07)
[+n] POOPINGTONS
2016-03-15 (12:55:08 - 18:55:07)
[+n] Ergo, AIs are revolutionary socialists.
2016-03-15 (09:55:07 - 11:55:07)
[+n] are you going to start wearing a leotard and wailing?
2016-03-14 - 2016-03-15
[+n] two sandy vaginas
2016-03-14 (21:55:03 - 21:55:03)
[+n] I considered taking a toothbrush to my nuts the other day
2016-03-14 (17:55:09 - 20:55:04)
[+n] if i want to look at perfectly rendered normal things i'll open my curtains
2016-03-13 - 2016-03-14
[+n] I do worry that it’s generally regard as a sort of mental illness to not have a facebook profile
2016-03-13 (02:54:53 - 20:54:58)
[+n] a wizard did it and ran away
2016-03-12 - 2016-03-13
[+n] Arse Tomatoes 2: Electric Portaloo
2016-03-11 - 2016-03-12
[+n] Meet & Fuck: Barry Chuckle
2016-03-10 - 2016-03-11
[+n] hello. who has been sticking stuff up their butt. oh wait. I guess that’s obvious.
2016-03-09 - 2016-03-10
[+n] Hey, so it turns out sticking stuff up your butt is pretty good!
2016-03-09 (20:54:33 - 22:54:34)
[+n] What are you pricking about on the internet for? Go stick stuff up your bum!
2016-03-09 (16:54:29 - 19:54:33)
[+n] I'm just saying, if I'm going to fuck a robot, which I would if I'd paid for the bastard, it might as well be attractive too. Even if it looks like C-3PO it's getting dicked if I've forked out money for it
2016-03-09 (15:54:30 - 15:54:30)
[+n] yank your blox about to get the kids off
2016-03-08 - 2016-03-09
[+n] Some dick is alright. That is too much dick.
2016-03-08 (21:54:28 - 21:54:28)
[+n] I've come back to frog rape and cunt eggs, what the fuck?
2016-03-08 (16:54:23 - 20:54:27)
[+n] peter balls vs mean ol farmer browneye
2016-03-08 (14:54:23 - 15:54:25)
[+n] YOU'RE DOIN' BALLS!
2016-03-07 - 2016-03-08
[+n] neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night shall stop the brummies getting their bog paper
2016-03-07 (20:54:25 - 21:54:21)
[+n] it's immense plops
2016-03-07 (10:54:21 - 19:54:26)
[+n] Took a laxative last night. I feel much emptier.
2016-03-06 - 2016-03-07
[+n] I will get a literal erection if they get the english voice actor to say "this guy are sick"
2016-03-06 (22:54:17 - 22:54:17)
[+n] it really does come across as something wanked out by some commie paranoid schizophrenic with a hard-on for wrestling
2016-03-05 - 2016-03-06
[+n] so how do we all feel now that we live in a world where american presidential candidates talk about their cocks in presidential debates
2016-03-04 (22:54:03 - 23:54:01)
[+n] champagne boob mindpiss
2016-03-04 (21:54:01 - 21:54:01)
[+n] that was a very veiney smushey looking penis
2016-03-04 (20:54:01 - 20:54:01)
[+n] re. the dicktendo
2016-03-04 (16:54:03 - 19:54:04)
[+n] Lawnmower man is very confused about Virtual Reality and things that are made out of shit graphics
2016-03-03 - 2016-03-04
[+n] people half my height are overtaking me
2016-03-02 - 2016-03-03
[+n] Well, I was talking about buying a 3DS, and now it's all dickhole money
2016-03-02 (21:53:44 - 22:53:51)
[+n] I'll do some lunges to break the tension
2016-03-01 - 2016-03-02
[+n] ALL ABOARD THE SEX TRACTOR
2016-02-29 - 2016-03-01
[+n] A PAIR OF BOOBS
2016-02-27 - 2016-02-29
[+n] and... andou.. anduill... The French poo sausage.
2016-02-27 (02:53:20 - 20:53:21)
[+n] If I had the money, could I put up a billboard that just said ANUS?
2016-02-26 - 2016-02-27
[+n] dont do my terrible poo experiment
2016-02-26 (01:53:13 - 13:53:13)
[+n] hang on, is that really weird to select foodstuffs based on what kind of farts and rectal mucus will result?
2016-02-25 - 2016-02-26
[+n] FART TALK
2016-02-25 (22:53:14 - 22:53:14)
[+n] Whereas the flower looks more like a minge, if anything
2016-02-25 (17:53:10 - 21:53:09)
[+n] Did Kanye pay £147 to be fingered?
2016-02-25 (15:53:08 - 16:53:10)
[+n] A Weighty Prostate
2016-02-24 - 2016-02-25
[+n] The Inuit have 50 words for 'why do we live here oh god'
2016-02-24 (21:53:06 - 22:53:06)
[+n] I know it makes me look like a raving gnubeard, but
2016-02-24 (20:53:08 - 20:53:08)
[+n] if I left it I'd just have to smell it
2016-02-23 - 2016-02-24
[+n] I hate when I get a colon in there
2016-02-22 - 2016-02-23
[+n] Congratulate Joe Fuckchops on their promotion to Senior Dick Stretcher
2016-02-22 (10:52:46 - 12:52:53)
[+n] Some fucks are required to be declared, some fucks aren't
2016-02-21 - 2016-02-22
[+n] I guess I could go start a civil war somewhere
2016-02-21 (14:52:44 - 20:52:44)
[+n] I did such a big dump today it hurt my anus.
2016-02-21 (01:52:44 - 13:52:44)
[+n] I keep randomly getting my nose smashed in with her fart-hand
2016-02-19 - 2016-02-21
[+n] there's a linux for every flavour of autism
2016-02-18 (17:40:10 - 18:40:07)
[+n] if you plant the vulva-bulbs, you'll get Two-Lips
2016-02-18 (16:40:04 - 16:40:04)
[+n] I got a book on chess strategy. It was really long and complicated, so I was all like, lol no, videogaem
2016-02-18 (10:40:04 - 15:40:11)
[+n] the poots kinda squeek past the plug
2016-02-17 - 2016-02-18
[+n] My hoop is strictly for jobbies.
2016-02-17 (20:39:58 - 20:39:58)
[+n] He keeps doing horrific egg-beefers
2016-02-17 (15:39:56 - 19:39:58)
[+n] : I do think 'WITNESS ME' whenever I take a corner a bit too hard
2016-02-17 (14:39:59 - 14:39:59)
[+n] tumescent micropenis
2016-02-17 (13:39:58 - 13:39:58)
[+n] I have breasts now, breasts are cool
2016-02-14 - 2016-02-17
[+n] I'd probably end up on some sort of Nazi scat fiend register
2016-02-14 (21:39:47 - 21:39:47)
[+n] I'm walking around in a circle with my arse out, confused as fuck and saying "What's even going on?" because my arse is suddenly out
2016-02-14 (14:39:44 - 20:39:44)
[+n] It's only gay if the balls are quantum entangled
2016-02-14 (13:39:45 - 13:39:45)
[+n] why not just l2shuffle?
2016-02-13 - 2016-02-14
[+n] secretive nocturnal giant mouse bastards
2016-02-13 (00:39:36 - 12:39:38)
[+n] I think I prefer ”El Plummo"
2016-02-12 (12:39:30 - 23:39:33)
[+n] coughing up bogey flavoured haribo
2016-02-11 - 2016-02-12
[+n] procrasturbation
2016-02-10 - 2016-02-11
[+n] Hahahahah repeatedly squirting a guy in the crotch is even funnier than shooting them in the nuts with rubber bullets
2016-02-08 - 2016-02-10
[+n] Poo n wank
2016-02-06 - 2016-02-08
[+n] I've had to undo my trousers.
2016-02-05 - 2016-02-06
[+n] the only time you'll catch me in a cereal cafe is if you're a policeman and you're there to arrest me for attempted arson
2016-02-04 - 2016-02-05
[+n] got a sharp bit of pringle stuck in my balls once
2016-02-03 - 2016-02-04
[+n] We've come a long way from Willie's teat? As in Willie Nelson? Because I'm not sure I'd want to drink his breastmilk.
2016-02-02 - 2016-02-03
[+n] but then I discovered that you can forcefully balloon kidnap goats
2016-02-02 (21:38:40 - 21:38:40)
[+n] it's humpy pumpy time! it's humpy pumpy time! i'm gonna hump your corpse! Cos i want your stuff!
2016-02-02 (19:38:38 - 20:38:40)
[+n] Well, I did recommend a hand shandy
2016-02-01 - 2016-02-02
[+n] Nothing will stop the muppets
2016-02-01 (20:38:34 - 21:38:34)
[+n] a free voucher for an assfucking and a tin of biscuits
2016-01-30 - 2016-02-01
[+n] if Autism School has taught me anything…
2016-01-28 - 2016-01-30
[+n] unless i lather up my pubes
2016-01-27 - 2016-01-28
[+n] strictly jump & honk
2016-01-27 (19:37:57 - 22:37:59)
[+n] Don’t be silly, you can’t hear aids
2016-01-27 (03:37:56 - 18:38:00)
[+n] nothing but icy shitballs
2016-01-24 - 2016-01-27
[+n] Not Currently Lactating Fistbump
2016-01-22 - 2016-01-24
[+n] If your name was Bumpass why the fuck would you name your kid Rodger, oh my god
2016-01-22 (19:37:34 - 21:37:30)
[+n] you've got a beard and glasses and you're of a ... cuddly.. build
2016-01-22 (16:37:32 - 18:37:34)
[+n] It should be legal to just bay like a mating stag in response
2016-01-21 - 2016-01-22
[+n] some viking wandering round 9th century york with an arse like the japanese flag
2016-01-18 - 2016-01-21
[+n] wanking, poo and spaec
2016-01-18 (17:37:06 - 22:37:05)
[+n] Giant cosmic space swans egging each other on until one of them stuffs the star up its cloaca for a laugh
2016-01-18 (14:37:07 - 16:37:07)
[+n] That's the pretty much the only sentence where 'cock' and 'blender' should both make an appearance
2016-01-17 - 2016-01-18
[+n] Elite 1 chubbo
2016-01-17 (01:36:54 - 20:36:59)
[+n] Starbucks coffee is made of poo
2016-01-14 - 2016-01-17
[+n] like trying to steer a hovercraft on a spunk-lake
2016-01-14 (21:36:44 - 21:36:44)
[+n] I do a *lot* of cocking about though
2016-01-14 (11:36:43 - 20:36:41)
[+n] arse full of pain puppets???!!!?!
2016-01-13 - 2016-01-14
[+n] Speaking of poo, I'd better clean my teeth
2016-01-12 - 2016-01-13
[+n] Fuck off, this is slightly more legal than murder
2016-01-12 (21:36:26 - 22:36:34)
[+n] sperm pilgrimage
2016-01-12 (11:36:28 - 20:36:27)
[+n] GAEM HAMS
2016-01-11 - 2016-01-12
[+n] another anal mishap
2016-01-10 - 2016-01-11
[+n] I’ve now seen him flying with his spaec wang and now I want a spaec wang
2016-01-09 - 2016-01-10
[+n] It’s gonna be cackulicious!
2016-01-08 - 2016-01-09
[+n] "But I poop from there!" "Not today, you don't."
2016-01-08 (15:36:07 - 15:36:07)
[+n] he was definitely like 900 millitotalbiscuits
2016-01-08 (11:36:05 - 14:36:07)
[+n] From its anus?
2016-01-07 - 2016-01-08
[+n] the speaker you stuff up your chuff
2016-01-07 (00:35:54 - 20:36:01)
[+n] you can hide your arse in plain sight if there's enough people showing their arse
2016-01-06 (23:35:55 - 23:35:55)
[+n] As long as I don't break my "never yank one off to anything I'd be uncomfortable being found dead in front of" rule.
2016-01-06 (01:35:46 - 22:36:03)
[+n] no-one wants to stick their dick up your foof if you've filled it with poo
2016-01-05 - 2016-01-06
[+n] I wish you could get a Fisto people could fuck. It would cheer them up and no-one would get pregnant.
2016-01-04 - 2016-01-05
[+n] Okay, I am now based in Birmingham and my company is called Cummy Underpants
2016-01-02 - 2016-01-04
[+n] Oh, double anuses
2016-01-02 (16:35:29 - 20:35:27)
[+n] something profound just occured to me while I was having a poo just now
2016-01-02 (15:35:30 - 15:35:30)
[+n] cummy underpants
2016-01-02 (14:35:27 - 14:35:27)
[+n] There's been more than a few occasions where I've had to pull my pants back up after making a Vine
2016-01-02 (01:35:24 - 13:35:26)
[+n] Ditto 'fanny'
2016-01-01 - 2016-01-02
[+n] It doesn't really need the tits. But it certainly has several of them.
2015-12-29 - 2016-01-01
[+n] “all my blood is coming out” sounds like the sort of thing the internet would say instead of something like, “ROFL”
2015-12-28 - 2015-12-29
[+n] From cock and balls with love
2015-12-22 - 2015-12-28
[+n] the heavy breathing dickbreakfast that is Windows 10
2015-12-22 (15:34:17 - 22:34:16)
[+n] The right sort of potatoes. The right sort of fat.
2015-12-22 (00:34:13 - 14:34:16)
[+n] I don't like being mean about people, but he's just such a vast, pulsating fanny.
2015-12-21 (23:34:12 - 23:34:12)
[+n] I'm not expecting a fucking BAFTA for gaem about arses and dingdongs though
2015-12-20 - 2015-12-21
[+n] the dad told his very small child to let the goat shit in her hand and then use the goat shit to fill in the cracks in the wall
2015-12-20 (19:34:05 - 22:34:08)
[+n] consumed by the ur-couch
2015-12-19 - 2015-12-20
[+n] I found the penis
2015-12-19 (16:34:01 - 20:34:00)
[+n] Too Much Dick
2015-12-18 - 2015-12-19
[+n] Desert Sex Orifice Enthusiast
2015-12-16 - 2015-12-18
[+n] I was imagining a ringpiece making old-timey car horn noises
2015-12-15 (23:33:47 - 23:33:47)
[+n] just Jar Jar yanking himself off and dragging his arse up the carpet
2015-12-15 (22:33:43 - 22:33:43)
[+n] downloading the cunt
2015-12-15 (20:33:46 - 21:33:42)
[+n] Boba Fett's a complete bell, he flies onto a skiff, gets his gun cut in half, falls over, gets up, and goes arse over tit down a huge desert fanny.
2015-12-15 (18:33:43 - 19:33:43)
[+n] That was brown spacesuit time all round
2015-12-15 (16:33:43 - 17:33:44)
[+n] You can tell by the little turd winkies
2015-12-15 (14:33:45 - 15:33:44)
[+n] Helltopia of Dicks and Poop
2015-12-14 - 2015-12-15
[+n] Found by searching 'arse tomato'
2015-12-14 (15:33:39 - 22:33:41)
[+n] better than that room in that mental home annex you lived in that one time
2015-12-14 (10:33:39 - 14:33:39)
[+n] SLEUCH
2015-12-14 (01:11:34 - 01:11:34)
[+n] Right, just need to add the tomatoes getting farted out
2015-12-13 - 2015-12-14
[+n] Being able to wank yourself into a double-digit IQ is one of the few perks of unemployment.
2015-12-10 - 2015-12-13
[+n] in 5 billion years when the sun expands out to Venus' orbit, there won't be a winter in Sweden
2015-12-10 (17:11:14 - 21:11:20)
[+n] I might start carrying an anus-pin.
2015-12-09 - 2015-12-10
[+n] I got stuck up a giant turtle lady's cunt.
2015-12-09 (13:11:12 - 13:11:12)
[+n] cellular automaton fungus
2015-12-08 - 2015-12-09
[+n] Or get a van and several yards of dick. I'm not the boss of you
2015-12-08 (18:11:04 - 19:11:03)
[+n] I accidentally drew a pixel art Kenny Loggins
2015-12-07 - 2015-12-08
[+n] Knob-billed duck, an unusual, pan-tropical duck
2015-12-06 - 2015-12-07
[+n] I couldn't hear it over my boner
2015-12-05 - 2015-12-06
[+n] the world is a better place if you believe it’s only dogs doing poos in the street
2015-12-04 - 2015-12-05
[+n] i just did a fart that smelt of peanuts
2015-12-03 (23:10:31 - 23:10:31)
[+n] if you're not shitting blood and your temperature is normal and you dont have chest pains it can probably wait until tomorrow
2015-12-03 (21:10:34 - 22:10:33)
[+n] Go to HKEY_LOCAL_FUCKING_DICKDANCE
2015-12-03 (11:10:30 - 20:10:31)
[+n] It reeks of neckbeard musk
2015-12-01 - 2015-12-03
[+n] my theory? He's not wearing any pants
2015-12-01 (17:10:16 - 20:10:24)
[+n] The anus looks wrinkled
2015-11-30 - 2015-12-01
[+n] I voted YES to Butter!
2015-11-30 (13:10:12 - 22:10:19)
[+n] Does a wheelchair user count as a cyborg?
2015-11-30 (11:10:13 - 12:10:15)
[+n] PLONKERFEST 2015
2015-11-29 - 2015-11-30
[+n] Japanese ham robot
2015-11-29 (22:10:10 - 22:10:10)
[+n] Today I learned that beavers are huge
2015-11-27 - 2015-11-29
[+n] bleeding edge dicking about
2015-11-27 (19:09:51 - 22:09:59)
[+n] Madam Cluster’s House of Fuck
2015-11-27 (13:09:56 - 18:09:56)
[+n] it seems to cause a base monkey level spaz joy reaction
2015-11-27 (01:09:52 - 12:09:56)
[+n] It's all bums and shites on here
2015-11-27 (00:09:53 - 00:09:53)
[+n] FALLOUT CRASHED WHILE I WAS POOPING
2015-11-26 (23:09:53 - 23:09:53)
[+n] poo noodles
2015-11-26 (19:09:51 - 22:09:48)
[+n] : The Toilet (sc)Rolls: ToiletRim
2015-11-26 (17:09:54 - 18:09:51)
[+n] Had Five Guys for the first time today, it was quite good
2015-11-26 (16:09:48 - 16:09:48)
[+n] I'm not a huge sausage eater
2015-11-25 - 2015-11-26
[+n] Hey, you, the Rock Steady Crew, show 'em what to do, have a wank, do a poo
2015-11-25 (21:09:43 - 21:09:43)
[+n] Or they had good teeth for other reasons
2015-11-25 (01:09:39 - 20:09:38)
[+n] I have never seen anyone as high as you were
2015-11-24 - 2015-11-25
[+n] S&M party nipples and a sodomizer
2015-11-20 - 2015-11-24
[+n] no I won't
2015-11-20 (16:09:13 - 17:09:12)
[+n] Someone will say something about her foof or bumhole and she will telepathically log in, change the topic, then leave again.
2015-11-20 (10:09:12 - 15:09:11)
[+n] Typically, you'd just hail a leprechaun. There are apps for that.
2015-11-20 (00:09:08 - 09:09:11)
[+n] I don’t really believe you’re swedish/hungry for butt btw
2015-11-19 (16:09:10 - 23:09:09)
[+n] : Is there a nipple version of Hogwarts?
2015-11-18 - 2015-11-19
[+n] the icons for courage and stupidity are a brush stroke apart
2015-11-17 - 2015-11-18
[+n] there's so much sexual tension in The Hobbit
2015-11-16 - 2015-11-17
[+n] 350 degrees of turd
2015-11-16 (12:08:51 - 16:08:51)
[+n] Jimbly Wimbly's Wasteland Adventure
2015-11-15 - 2015-11-16
[+n] Maybe I'm just really tired but right now poo is paralysingly funny.
2015-11-15 (01:08:43 - 10:08:44)
[+n] I don't want to put my tongue where ploppies have been!
2015-11-14 - 2015-11-15
[+n] buringin down your house
2015-11-14 (19:08:43 - 22:08:42)
[+n] I admit I do pure sex wrong
2015-11-14 (13:08:41 - 18:08:41)
[+n] something something, bum soup
2015-11-13 - 2015-11-14
[+n] Someone made a conscious decision to sneak dickflies into the game
2015-11-13 (00:08:32 - 14:08:36)
[+n] I have become cool by basically staying exactly as I am and waiting for the world to come round to my way of thinking
2015-11-12 (23:08:32 - 23:08:32)
[+n] entropy has no interest in your choice of underwear
2015-11-12 (18:08:29 - 22:08:31)
[+n] That's some Ryanair-tier bullshit
2015-11-12 (17:08:32 - 17:08:32)
[+n] I've bought not-very-good CD-R's from buskers
2015-11-12 (16:08:28 - 16:08:28)
[+n] If I weren't in work, I'd be googling "Tron Rule 34"
2015-11-12 (09:08:28 - 15:08:28)
[+n] Murder feels good, doesn't it?
2015-11-11 - 2015-11-12
[+n] I'm like 50% of this guy's market share
2015-11-11 (14:08:24 - 22:08:24)
[+n] I kind of have no idea what's going on besides POO TIME
2015-11-09 - 2015-11-11
[+n] I can't wait for this game to finish downloading so that it can just sit there all encrypted doing fuck all
2015-11-09 (00:08:08 - 15:08:14)
[+n] Whenever you tell us an anecdote about child-you I imagine a tiny bearded man
2015-11-08 (22:08:11 - 23:08:12)
[+n] I did one of those slippy ploppies that require no wiping. Good show, anus.
2015-11-08 (11:08:09 - 21:08:12)
[+n] baby mel, posh mel, ginger mel, scary mel, sporty mel
2015-11-08 (01:08:04 - 10:08:07)
[+n] Naturally, I found an internet cafe and began shitposting.
2015-11-07 - 2015-11-08
[+n] pisspipes ring a bell
2015-11-06 (22:07:56 - 23:07:56)
[+n] Please dont make me special coleslaw
2015-11-06 (16:07:56 - 21:07:57)
[+n] CHEWBACCA IS BACCA - AND HE'S HERE TO BLOW SHIT UP
2015-11-06 (15:07:58 - 15:07:58)
[+n] you were probably eating a lot of pig balls
2015-11-06 (00:07:56 - 14:07:57)
[+n] It didn’t make the news when I was tweeting my shits to the pope…
2015-11-05 (23:07:51 - 23:07:51)
[+n] This article doesn't explain if birds can piss through their dicks
2015-11-05 (20:07:54 - 22:07:52)
[+n] at least there's a hint of scientific endeavour about trying to suck your own dick
2015-11-05 (17:07:51 - 19:07:49)
[+n] Google comes up with nothing if you search "The fuckettes"
2015-11-05 (00:07:42 - 16:07:55)
[+n] I thought you were celebrating taking a big dump
2015-11-04 (17:07:41 - 23:07:49)
[+n] NO EXTRA HELPINGS OF CAKE
2015-11-03 - 2015-11-04
[+n] NO HELPING
2015-11-03 (14:07:38 - 22:07:37)
[+n] being afraid of paedos sounds like something Mark from Peep Show would be
2015-11-02 - 2015-11-03
[+n] fucking Doctor Who fans are the worst.
2015-11-02 (16:07:34 - 16:07:34)
[+n] yeah the topics really are bum obsessed
2015-11-02 (14:07:33 - 15:07:35)
[+n] transgress the forum
2015-10-31 - 2015-11-02
[+n] I sit down and literally the most recent line of the chat has the word penis in it
2015-10-31 (01:07:18 - 01:07:18)
[+n] I just wanted to find out if snakes can fart.
2015-10-30 - 2015-10-31
[+n] I want to do more than: Take existing game, add penis
2015-10-30 (13:07:16 - 15:07:12)
[+n] :¬]
2015-10-30 (10:07:15 - 12:07:14)
[+n] AFAIK it's like the postmaster general, but for cocks
2015-10-30 (01:07:15 - 09:07:13)
[+n] clearly you are not the Dong Master General
2015-10-30 (00:07:11 - 00:07:11)
[+n] you can’t get people in the UK to give the slightest shit about what goes on in France
2015-10-29 (23:07:12 - 23:07:12)
[+n] I'm sorry to report I have googled "jar jar rule 34"
2015-10-29 (22:07:12 - 22:07:12)
[+n] everything looked like stir-fried dickmeat
2015-10-29 (13:07:06 - 21:07:12)
[+n] jizz-chat
2015-10-29 (12:07:05 - 12:07:05)
[+n] I think that if you are storing children’s toys in jars of your own semen there is something very *very* wrong with you
2015-10-28 - 2015-10-29
[+n] The Plummery Summary
2015-10-28 (16:07:00 - 21:07:05)
[+n] I'll leave you with that one while I go for an angry-shit
2015-10-28 (15:07:02 - 15:07:02)
[+n] but the poop was all real
2015-10-27 - 2015-10-28
[+n] The Plum Identity
2015-10-27 (18:06:58 - 21:06:59)
[+n] The Plum Hypothesis
2015-10-27 (00:06:56 - 17:07:00)
[+n] Which, as plans go, is like Gary Glitter sending his PC to PC World to be repaired
2015-10-26 (20:06:57 - 23:06:54)
[+n] the minds of atrangera
2015-10-26 (15:06:55 - 19:06:52)
[+n] I'm demonstrably more useful than the average cunt
2015-10-25 - 2015-10-26
[+n] it just seems surprising that as a species we don't seem to know how to take shits
2015-10-24 - 2015-10-25
[+n] catastrophic arse or whatever
2015-10-24 (15:06:43 - 21:06:46)
[+n] I can't unread the things you just said
2015-10-23 - 2015-10-24
[+n] oh god, its only been 10 minutes since I ordered my curry
2015-10-23 (14:06:38 - 20:06:36)
[+n] I've started delving into weird japanese stuff
2015-10-23 (00:06:35 - 13:06:38)
[+n] Cats have the worst anuses out of all the animals
2015-10-22 (21:06:36 - 23:06:33)
[+n] Alt caption: big blue balls
2015-10-22 (15:06:32 - 20:06:35)
[+n] Spergatorium
2015-10-21 - 2015-10-22
[+n] business cosplay
2015-10-20 - 2015-10-21
[+n] bum spoons
2015-10-20 (22:06:21 - 22:06:21)
[+n] Ruled By Dictator Buttface
2015-10-20 (19:06:25 - 21:06:25)
[+n] I was primarily fearing for my fucking pods, to be honest
2015-10-20 (17:06:22 - 18:06:23)
[+n] just like.. that the fuck is up with his neck?
2015-10-19 - 2015-10-20
[+n] A watford deluxe sounds like a euphemism for a blowjob in a premier inn.
2015-10-19 (22:43:43 - 22:43:43)
[+n] Didn’t we establish that Nazis were the baddies?
2015-10-19 (20:43:44 - 21:43:46)
[+n] by the way, I never asked: has your arse fully healed?
2015-10-19 (13:43:41 - 19:43:45)
[+n] I want an actual trombone. It will emphasise how dicked off I am, that I actually went and bought a fucking trombone.
2015-10-18 - 2015-10-19
[+n] catastrophic dick explosion
2015-10-18 (09:43:36 - 19:43:36)
[+n] Ugjt frg, Ekrpat go>po
2015-10-17 - 2015-10-18
[+n] Fuck you, Dvorak users
2015-10-17 (12:43:30 - 21:43:33)
[+n] I have no time for Windows versions greater than my shoe size.
2015-10-16 - 2015-10-17
[+n] exocomets
2015-10-16 (18:43:29 - 21:43:29)
[+n] dick salad sandwich
2015-10-16 (13:43:22 - 17:43:26)
[+n] One thing I've learned in my 40 years of existence is this: people are as dense as all shit.
2015-10-15 - 2015-10-16
[+n] kicking his bollocks off wont really change anything, you'd have to kick his dads bollocks off
2015-10-15 (19:43:17 - 22:43:22)
[+n] As a puritanical sperglord, I've a lot of sympathy for that argument
2015-10-15 (16:43:17 - 18:43:20)
[+n] if(cockAngle>0 && !frotting) cockAngle*=(3-baseErection*2);
2015-10-14 - 2015-10-15
[+n] In Romania, we have one litre pints
2015-10-13 - 2015-10-14
[+n] Great job! But you forgot Baby Moses
2015-10-13 (21:43:09 - 21:43:09)
[+n] As ever, people point at the moon and I look at the finger
2015-10-13 (20:43:13 - 20:43:13)
[+n] I think the disquisition about pigeon anal sex was a bit off-topic, but whatever
2015-10-13 (15:43:10 - 19:43:10)
[+n] I KNOW HOW TO COMPUTER
2015-10-13 (11:43:08 - 14:43:10)
[+n] Potato Potato Potato privilege
2015-10-12 - 2015-10-13
[+n] yes, accidental murder is a problem
2015-10-11 - 2015-10-12
[+n] There isn't a bollocks munching perk.
2015-10-10 (23:42:57 - 23:42:57)
[+n] massive proverbial *ick in the ass
2015-10-10 (18:43:01 - 22:42:56)
[+n] Time to listen to Danger Zone.
2015-10-10 (10:42:58 - 17:43:00)
[+n] The prince. The Unicorn. The rainbow poop.
2015-10-08 - 2015-10-10
[+n] give in to the beans
2015-10-07 - 2015-10-08
[+n] Frozen meatballs don't make good anal beads
2015-10-07 (15:20:25 - 16:20:21)
[+n] If anyone could chew through an umbilical cord, though, you know it'd be Brian Blessed
2015-10-06 - 2015-10-07
[+n] I barely register as a space time event
2015-10-06 (14:20:17 - 17:20:18)
[+n] Dirty Punters
2015-10-06 (13:20:13 - 13:20:13)
[+n] I need that buffer of two older fuckers
2015-10-05 - 2015-10-06
[+n] Firewire is basically a goatse-port
2015-10-04 - 2015-10-05
[+n] big beautiful lemmings
2015-10-03 - 2015-10-04
[+n] Statistically you had to be right eventually after saying many things
2015-10-03 (19:20:02 - 20:20:02)
[+n] Icepick is right
2015-10-02 - 2015-10-03
[+n] knobshiner's bellwagon
2015-10-01 - 2015-10-02
[+n] You'd have to stitch them all together in some kind of bizarre centipede-goatse-womb formation
2015-09-29 - 2015-10-01
[+n] There's a place for everything. Unless that place is Bristol. In that case, find a better place.
2015-09-28 - 2015-09-29
[+n] Fuck this shed - I'm going to Leeds
2015-09-27 - 2015-09-28
[+n] cunt-wig
2015-09-27 (21:19:24 - 21:19:24)
[+n] Sinkholes are crazy. It's like winning the lottery, but you win falling down a fuck-off hole.
2015-09-27 (01:19:21 - 20:19:27)
[+n] people shouldn’t give birth to things that aren’t people
2015-09-26 - 2015-09-27
[+n] It'll be a light year long streak of bum sauce
2015-09-26 (15:19:19 - 15:19:19)
[+n] You can clean the open bit at the end with kitchen roll
2015-09-24 - 2015-09-26
[+n] Almost bought a wood chipper because I assumed that it must be valuable
2015-09-24 (03:19:03 - 21:19:10)
[+n] no mistaking a Vulcan floater
2015-09-23 - 2015-09-24
[+n] I HAVE DICK AT 10,000
2015-09-23 (00:19:00 - 18:19:02)
[+n] An ant zipped up the shrinking dick, then both ants came back down again.
2015-09-22 (23:18:59 - 23:18:59)
[+n] At its best, it's bollock shatteringly good, but it can, and often is, fucking stupid.
2015-09-22 (11:18:53 - 22:18:57)
[+n] By ‘meeting’ I mean that I’m sat in bed not wearing pants
2015-09-21 - 2015-09-22
[+n] I succeeded and they did not fuck
2015-09-21 (14:18:50 - 18:18:49)
[+n] Things I didn't do at uni: fuck a dead pig
2015-09-20 - 2015-09-21
[+n] I think once the dick goes in, you've fucked the pig. There's no undoing that.
2015-09-19 - 2015-09-20
[+n] I’ve had balls in my mouth, I can confirm they were not as bad as fucking salad cream
2015-09-19 (14:18:40 - 21:18:43)
[+n] I was able to stop myself concentrating on Ultron’s lips
2015-09-18 - 2015-09-19
[+n] That’s actually really good to know. One of my worst fears is getting mange and leprosy at the same time
2015-09-17 - 2015-09-18
[+n] Eat your meaty slop
2015-09-17 (18:18:31 - 18:18:31)
[+n] I did, however, need my emergency underpants.
2015-09-17 (11:18:32 - 16:18:26)
[+n] TESTES DESTROYED
2015-09-16 - 2015-09-17
[+n] This is not what I expect from expensive Austrian engineering
2015-09-16 (10:18:23 - 11:18:23)
[+n] Gonna try and make some more babies. My vault is well underpopulated.
2015-09-15 - 2015-09-16
[+n] do you have the world’s biggest flappiest scrotum?
2015-09-15 (12:18:15 - 12:18:15)
[+n] don’t overdo it, like, just pop one or two in there
2015-09-15 (09:18:12 - 09:18:12)
[+n] enormous corkscrew dicks
2015-09-13 - 2015-09-15
[+n] no one with a bear wins
2015-09-12 - 2015-09-13
[+n] all techno is German until proven otherwise
2015-09-11 - 2015-09-12
[+n] I am officially cool!
2015-09-10 - 2015-09-11
[+n] I don't want to jinx it, but my arse doesn't hurt. Like, at all
2015-09-10 (19:17:49 - 19:17:49)
[+n] think of a slow cooker as a sort of hipster microwave
2015-09-10 (12:17:43 - 16:17:49)
[+n] So tempted to topic "a bigger one wouldn't be a bad thing for me, heh"
2015-09-10 (11:17:46 - 11:17:46)
[+n] "Legolas emerged from behind the curtain of vines. 'If I were you,' he said, 'I would leave it ten minutes.' "
2015-09-10 (01:17:44 - 09:17:44)
[+n] Even Galadriel poops
2015-09-09 (22:17:41 - 22:17:41)
[+n] BUTTER: BUTTER
2015-09-08 - 2015-09-09
[+n] Auto-cannibalism is, like, the ultimate cannibalism
2015-09-08 (15:17:38 - 18:17:31)
[+n] Incredible scenes as a visibly upset Brian May from Queen leads a funeral parade for badgers.
2015-09-06 - 2015-09-08
[+n] the teats pop out at me and I can’t think of anything else
2015-09-05 - 2015-09-06
[+n] I'm sitting here with a finger in my nostril because I'm fascinated by how fine nose-hairs are
2015-09-03 - 2015-09-05
[+n] Could people just donate a testicle and the sperm bank 'milks' it periodically?
2015-09-02 - 2015-09-03
[+n] Drippy Willy Clinic
2015-09-01 - 2015-09-02
[+n] Sleep for 17 years, wake up and scream a lot, fuck and then die. Ideal lifestyle.
2015-09-01 (20:16:58 - 21:16:50)
[+n] some head bobbing and well timed blinking
2015-09-01 (15:16:53 - 19:16:58)
[+n] Nice, I just sold a rare item on Arse
2015-08-31 - 2015-09-01
[+n] 2014 was the Year of The Vigorous Anal Fingering
2015-08-31 (21:16:50 - 21:16:50)
[+n] general rule; don't slap her in the titty
2015-08-29 - 2015-08-31
[+n] I'm glad you enjoyed it. Glad you enjoyed the fuck biscuit.
2015-08-27 - 2015-08-29
[+n] mouthpoo orifice
2015-08-25 - 2015-08-27
[+n] Lollipop ladies flicking shit at each other's clits
2015-08-25 (13:16:18 - 22:16:24)
[+n] You'll be a married woman soon anyway won't you? Can't be constantly lunging at married women
2015-08-24 - 2015-08-25
[+n] I hope his shattered spine hasn't fallen out of his collapsed bumhole in a shower of diseased meat
2015-08-21 - 2015-08-24
[+n] I think Kim Jong-Un might have just flopped his angry-knob out
2015-08-21 (21:15:54 - 22:15:59)
[+n] INTO THE BING
2015-08-21 (17:16:02 - 20:16:02)
[+n] I just realised how racist that sounds out of context
2015-08-20 - 2015-08-21
[+n] it seems logical to put the screen on the rat's tummy, which means that if you used it as a phone you'd be talking into a rat dick
2015-08-18 - 2015-08-20
[+n] I only shot him a bit, but it was enough to cause a rumpus!
2015-08-17 - 2015-08-18
[+n] I misread the channel topic as 'not wanking over ramen'. As in the noodles.
2015-08-17 (10:15:34 - 19:15:32)
[+n] Not wanking over Rayman
2015-08-15 - 2015-08-17
[+n] I'm Fred Fuckface not Fuckface Fred
2015-08-14 - 2015-08-15
[+n] My new arse ointment is called Anoheal
2015-08-14 (11:14:23 - 15:14:24)
[+n] I was told by someone at school that Neighbours was going to end with a nuke being dropped on Ramsey Street, I believed this and watched Neighbours quite intensely for years waiting for this to happen
2015-08-13 - 2015-08-14
[+n] WE NOW LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THIS CAN JUST RANDOMLY HAPPY TO YOUR BUTTHOLE
2015-08-13 (14:14:15 - 16:14:14)
[+n] I only ask so that in the future I can avoid having a doctor look at my bum and saying 'OH DEAR'.
2015-08-13 (13:14:20 - 13:14:20)
[+n] Well, I don't have an arse like cthulhu's face
2015-08-12 - 2015-08-13
[+n] taking butthole advice from someone betting they need arse surgery... Maybe not
2015-08-12 (21:14:13 - 21:14:13)
[+n] Also sorry about your butthole
2015-08-12 (20:14:13 - 20:14:13)
[+n] gone out to buy bum ointment
2015-08-12 (16:14:10 - 19:14:16)
[+n] That dog was a total cunt
2015-08-12 (11:14:04 - 15:14:10)
[+n] I'm not sure how they feel about Angela Lansbury, though
2015-08-11 - 2015-08-12
[+n] I don't know why I've suddenly got a wasp up my arse
2015-08-11 (11:14:04 - 17:14:05)
[+n] It's way harder than you think to take a photo of your own anus with an iPhone.
2015-08-10 - 2015-08-11
[+n] either way, fuck sheds
2015-08-10 (13:14:03 - 21:14:02)
[+n] Got a little bit of Joe90 coming through
2015-08-09 - 2015-08-10
[+n] Yesterday I had a bath and a takeaway pizza and I'm annoyed it didn't occur to me to combine these two activities.
2015-08-09 (00:13:53 - 21:13:58)
[+n] I’ve figured out how to talk to pins
2015-08-08 (16:13:44 - 23:13:53)
[+n] Ripping your arse into shreds within the spacetime continuum
2015-08-07 - 2015-08-08
[+n] did the subject of you drawing willies in anything that offers you the opportunity to draw willies come up?
2015-08-07 (13:13:43 - 20:13:42)
[+n] Do they store lards of lard in the larder of the loudest, largest lardest?
2015-08-06 - 2015-08-07
[+n] Dey terk err nerks!
2015-08-06 (15:13:39 - 15:13:39)
[+n] HAHAHAHA! I DREW MY REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS ON YOUR FOOD SOURCES.
2015-08-06 (13:13:37 - 14:13:40)
[+n] Literally hairy ballsacks
2015-08-05 - 2015-08-06
[+n] I suspect hat man has fucked up his black forest gateau.
2015-08-05 (11:13:32 - 21:13:33)
[+n] OK, you can have your shiny things, but first you have to let us do a big shite in your mouth
2015-08-04 - 2015-08-05
[+n] And your dick is naturally like a twix inside
2015-08-04 (22:13:28 - 22:13:28)
[+n] dicks and vampire fucking
2015-08-04 (21:13:28 - 21:13:28)
[+n] The theme tune to Last of the Summer Wine always makes me feel a bit angsty because in my head it's hard wired to the fact I haven't done my homework
2015-08-04 (17:13:24 - 20:13:24)
[+n] Wow. Our Windows 8.1 build is anus too.
2015-08-04 (13:13:22 - 16:13:28)
[+n] the internet is a vast sea of fucking plumlords
2015-08-04 (00:13:24 - 12:13:27)
[+n] DR WHO: DOG FUCKER
2015-08-03 (20:13:34 - 23:13:24)
[+n] Now I smell of BO and samosa sweats.
2015-08-03 (17:13:18 - 19:13:24)
[+n] Now playing: The complete works of Dappy.
2015-08-03 (16:13:19 - 16:13:19)
[+n] Mine's a SUPERFLOWER.
2015-08-01 - 2015-08-03
[+n] Snapper is deffo bumhole, it snaps shut to stop the bathwater getting in
2015-08-01 (17:13:12 - 19:13:16)
[+n] You get lunges. I get steak. Life is cruel.
2015-08-01 (01:13:11 - 16:13:11)
[+n] Growler is foof
2015-07-31 - 2015-08-01
[+n] sexy pants
2015-07-31 (22:13:09 - 22:13:09)
[+n] Poll: Is having ”swelling in your ringpiece leaking Nasty Juice in your bumcrack” grounds for a visit to the ol’ GP?
2015-07-31 (16:13:05 - 21:13:04)
[+n] I COULD COME AND LUNGE AT YOUR WEDDING
2015-07-30 - 2015-07-31
[+n] For boring and unrelated reasons, I was dressed as a tiger, my dad was wearing a toga, and the house was covered in beer mats
2015-07-30 (12:13:03 - 21:13:05)
[+n] The words "freemium solitaire" will be the words chiseled into Microsoft's tombstone.
2015-07-29 - 2015-07-30
[+n] The Trials And Tribulations Of My Balls and Arsehole
2015-07-29 (09:12:57 - 17:12:55)
[+n] I love the smell of finger-pointing in the morning
2015-07-28 - 2015-07-29
[+n] I can do it barring any anal disasters
2015-07-28 (15:12:52 - 15:12:52)
[+n] if you end up needing an injection down there, would that be a rimshot?
2015-07-28 (14:12:50 - 14:12:50)
[+n] googling bum disorders
2015-07-28 (09:12:45 - 13:12:45)
[+n] I often worry I'm the Germanophile equivalent of these neckbeards who fetishisise Japanese pop culture
2015-07-27 - 2015-07-28
[+n] "Your brain is perfectly fine" is a very bread statement
2015-07-26 - 2015-07-27
[+n] an actual pie, not my vagina
2015-07-26 (17:12:42 - 17:12:42)
[+n] at this point Im surprised you have anything left down there
2015-07-26 (12:12:41 - 16:12:42)
[+n] on a related note, I haven't worn pants all day
2015-07-24 - 2015-07-26
[+n] Nintendo's giant finger has breached our snapper
2015-07-24 (14:12:30 - 21:12:28)
[+n] nerk-nerrrk-NERRRK-NERRRRK
2015-07-23 - 2015-07-24
[+n] That's the trouble with the internet. You don't know who's dead.
2015-07-23 (11:12:23 - 14:12:24)
[+n] Technically all tits are meat tits, I guess.
2015-07-23 (10:12:25 - 10:12:25)
[+n] Mine is either 30 or 32 inches
2015-07-22 - 2015-07-23
[+n] FANNIES and BALLSACKS
2015-07-21 - 2015-07-22
[+n] I've made myself cross and now I need a dump.
2015-07-20 - 2015-07-21
[+n] I need a poo and to go to the shop but I can't be bothered to do either.
2015-07-16 - 2015-07-20
[+n] That is so fucking hipster that it's going to move to an East London Flat and film people from the balcony
2015-07-15 - 2015-07-16
[+n] We've got a ceiling fan. I have to be REALLY careful not to lift a babby into it.
2015-07-15 (16:11:47 - 21:11:48)
[+n] It rises, and it smells like egg
2015-07-13 - 2015-07-15
[+n] I think this might be swedish humour
2015-07-13 (18:11:31 - 21:11:36)
[+n] there's no way flinging a pair of pants filled with shit out of a train window ends well
2015-07-13 (01:11:25 - 17:11:33)
[+n] The only thing thzt coud make that website worse would be if instead of leasing cars they offered to euthanise babies with hare lips
2015-07-12 - 2015-07-13
[+n] Look how fast the internet has made it possible to research an artist's life's work, review it, and deem it wank.
2015-07-12 (00:11:30 - 12:11:31)
[+n] the first food eaten on the moon was communion wafers
2015-07-11 (22:11:23 - 23:11:29)
[+n] There's no worse shite than cat shite
2015-07-09 - 2015-07-11
[+n] Gravity is shit-ass weak
2015-07-08 - 2015-07-09
[+n] I like to think they think I'm planning an evening of excessive farting
2015-07-08 (16:11:02 - 21:11:08)
[+n] I done a wank because I've been reading about Excel a lot
2015-07-07 - 2015-07-08
[+n] I'm going to starve to death with my dick out because I can't find anything to eat!
2015-07-06 - 2015-07-07
[+n] I’m thinking of standing in a supermarket making pervy-old-man noises at a prone kid
2015-07-06 (16:10:52 - 16:10:52)
[+n] Proposal : topic baiting game
2015-07-06 (10:10:50 - 15:10:51)
[+n] Ha, nest of divs sounds like my old workplace
2015-07-04 - 2015-07-06
[+n] you invented monkeys to trick me
2015-07-03 (23:10:40 - 23:10:40)
[+n] now i have a mental picture of a bug that looks like stinkbug and is driven to hide in people's arseholes
2015-07-03 (22:10:34 - 22:10:34)
[+n] the monkey has a fondness for wartime inuendo
2015-07-03 (16:10:32 - 21:10:38)
[+n] MR RAGING BALLSWEAT
2015-07-02 - 2015-07-03
[+n] it's no longer a robot, it's just a cock
2015-07-01 - 2015-07-02
[+n] STORMWATCH 2015
2015-07-01 (13:10:23 - 22:10:21)
[+n] Can I reasonably infer you have at least one bollock
2015-07-01 (09:10:22 - 12:10:24)
[+n] this weather exacerbates my German coffee crisis
2015-06-30 - 2015-07-01
[+n] I'd better find something to eat. Poo, not fruit
2015-06-30 (19:10:22 - 19:10:22)
[+n] I AM YOUR SUPERVISOR
2015-06-30 (16:10:18 - 18:10:14)
[+n] I don't want cunt.pony.
2015-06-30 (10:10:20 - 15:10:19)
[+n] FIGURE 1. THE MATRYOSHKA NESTING DOLL OF SUBSIDY DEFINITIONS
2015-06-30 (00:10:13 - 09:10:15)
[+n] like, can you buy chloroform? and if so who's up for some hardcore pranks?
2015-06-29 (15:10:11 - 23:10:09)
[+n] I thought the swedish currency was meatballs
2015-06-29 (14:10:11 - 14:10:11)
[+n] well maybe he isnt into shitwanks
2015-06-29 (00:10:04 - 13:10:13)
[+n] The cycling poo-man is still at large
2015-06-28 (23:10:03 - 23:10:03)
[+n] Quantum sexytime is not without its problems
2015-06-28 (21:10:06 - 22:10:03)
[+n] Fun Times, but not Bum Times
2015-06-28 (16:10:02 - 20:10:10)
[+n] You can hear the contracting bumholes
2015-06-27 - 2015-06-28
[+n] I named the boy Dicky Snapples
2015-06-27 (00:10:04 - 17:10:04)
[+n] Bum Bum Bum Up Bum
2015-06-25 - 2015-06-26
[+n] WASH the sheep
2015-06-25 (21:09:49 - 21:09:49)
[+n] SERIOUSLY MATT WE HAVE FORGIVEN YOU FOR MURDERIN'
2015-06-25 (17:09:51 - 20:09:47)
[+n] Murdering Matt for Bibeogaem 2015
2015-06-25 (00:09:47 - 16:09:46)
[+n] FART HAM FIGHT
2015-06-24 (15:09:45 - 23:09:41)
[+n] I think I've angried myself into some sort of failure state
2015-06-24 (11:09:39 - 14:09:38)
[+n] I already pooed, and lemme tell ya, what came out was not going to get me into the mood for a wank
2015-06-23 - 2015-06-24
[+n] ew I don't want to be a dirty sperg
2015-06-22 - 2015-06-23
[+n] A cock made of cock and a cock made of metal
2015-06-22 (22:09:38 - 22:09:38)
[+n] POOP DONG SHIT BUTTS
2015-06-22 (19:09:39 - 21:09:35)
[+n] I'm covered in angry sweat
2015-06-22 (11:09:32 - 18:09:35)
[+n] Ok, Project Strip Whack-A-Mole is a go!
2015-06-21 - 2015-06-22
[+n] basically it’s really really hard
2015-06-21 (11:09:29 - 22:09:27)
[+n] Having 1000 snails brought to your room at 4am due to some farcical misunderstanding
2015-06-20 - 2015-06-21
[+n] I would be more okay with having ubbs if I could pull them off and throw them like hand grenades
2015-06-20 (14:09:22 - 22:09:26)
[+n] mmm bison
2015-06-19 - 2015-06-20
[+n] The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. The Lord is a bith of a twath like thath.
2015-06-19 (10:27:44 - 10:27:44)
[+n] I was kind of disappointed that French pigeons are indistinguishable from English pigeons but I don't really know what I expected
2015-06-18 - 2015-06-19
[+n] 70c = 50p, just looked it up. That's just about acceptable for a poo but unacceptable for a wee
2015-06-18 (16:27:39 - 17:27:41)
[+n] yum : MAYBE YOU SHOULD LICK MY BALLS
2015-06-18 (12:27:35 - 15:27:40)
[+n] Thanks to this, I have seen Jeff Minter chasing an escaping llama, while he in turn was being chased by a donkey
2015-06-16 - 2015-06-18
[+n] ancient Egyptians had two separate penis glyphs. One ejaculating and one non-ejaculating.
2015-06-16 (13:27:32 - 21:27:31)
[+n] : So there was me shouting "BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM" at her until she joined in
2015-06-15 - 2015-06-16
[+n] See! Everyone online is a cunt!
2015-06-15 (16:27:33 - 21:27:27)
[+n] damn. I’m so culturally irrelevant
2015-06-15 (15:27:29 - 15:27:29)
[+n] new, as yet undiscovered levels of dicking about
2015-06-15 (14:27:29 - 14:27:29)
[+n] Crackdown! Crackdown! Beware of the eggs!
2015-06-15 (13:27:21 - 13:27:21)
[+n] superman can totally kill you with his spunk
2015-06-15 (10:27:26 - 12:27:28)
[+n] Fisto is really good value. He charges only 10 caps.
2015-06-15 (08:27:26 - 09:27:27)
[+n] ALERT: Today Is Stay Off Twitter And Facebook Day Because Every Cunt Watched It Last Night Day
2015-06-14 - 2015-06-15
[+n] The Big Titty Committee
2015-06-14 (21:27:23 - 21:27:23)
[+n] We all like a pants-shitting tale
2015-06-14 (15:27:23 - 20:27:22)
[+n] SURPRISE, BIRTH!
2015-06-14 (12:27:24 - 14:27:23)
[+n] rolf harris: even more of a bastard than you thought
2015-06-14 (01:27:21 - 11:27:24)
[+n] if there were two of me I would totally be making out with myself and not pooping in a cup
2015-06-14 (00:27:24 - 00:27:24)
[+n] Everybody's shit at everything
2015-06-13 (18:27:20 - 23:27:21)
[+n] never know when you'll need a spare dog brain
2015-06-12 - 2015-06-13
[+n] coffee and a wank
2015-06-11 - 2015-06-12
[+n] moonwalking out while farting and flicking the veevers
2015-06-10 - 2015-06-11
[+n] So there are people with tatts of a dead dog that didn't die and isn't even real.
2015-06-10 (10:27:04 - 20:27:08)
[+n] A A A A R G H B E L L E N D S
2015-06-09 - 2015-06-10
[+n] oh cool spunky 1.99 on gog
2015-06-09 (20:27:03 - 21:27:04)
[+n] when all was despair and pain and defeat, i found myself listening to danger zone on loop and i was saved
2015-06-09 (07:27:07 - 19:27:02)
[+n] l3zzieM@rthaJ0nes
2015-06-08 (16:32:04 - 16:32:04)
[+n] Mmmmm, sweet, juicy, gayness
2015-06-07 - 2015-06-08
[+n] ThingsThePlumHasFuckedUpOrMadeUsLookLikeCuntsAboutOverThePastCoupleOfMonths.docx
2015-06-07 (20:32:04 - 21:32:02)
[+n] It's my computer and I will install programs where I chuffing well choose.
2015-06-07 (16:31:59 - 19:32:02)
[+n] I can't find the path to the damn sexbot
2015-06-06 - 2015-06-07
[+n] We take the sex very seriously.
2015-06-05 - 2015-06-06
[+n] Gaem. Gaem never changes.
2015-06-05 (11:31:52 - 19:31:54)
[+n] I have an Angry Finger
2015-06-04 - 2015-06-05
[+n] well if you ever wanted to goldleaf your turds, now's your chance!
2015-06-04 (12:31:46 - 22:31:49)
[+n] Imagine a hand, squeezing an arse to the sound of an old fashioned car horn, forever.
2015-06-03 - 2015-06-04
[+n] Maybe they have no bumholes and expel waste as a cute bubble-burp.
2015-06-03 (16:31:46 - 22:31:45)
[+n] fnext kwee
2015-06-03 (15:31:42 - 15:31:42)
[+n] DOG
2015-06-03 (11:31:46 - 14:31:45)
[+n] So have you. Grown more beautiful, I mean
2015-06-02 - 2015-06-03
[+n] Now if someone could explain to me how to give compliments without sounding sarcastic..
2015-06-02 (12:31:42 - 13:31:38)
[+n] The Penis Problem
2015-06-01 - 2015-06-02
[+n] Thats a space penis
2015-06-01 (15:31:44 - 17:31:37)
[+n] The anus is the most prominent feature of a cat.
2015-05-30 - 2015-05-31
[+n] : CUTN SHOp BRB
2015-05-29 - 2015-05-30
[+n] my dick quota is adequately fulfilled by local sources
2015-05-28 (12:24:16 - 23:24:21)
[+n] Look, son, I can hand you the bog roll, but I can't wipe your fucking bumsie
2015-05-27 - 2015-05-28
[+n] he's ended up with us in the Centre of Excellence
2015-05-26 - 2015-05-27
[+n] writes 'do not put in bum' on tomatoes
2015-05-26 (21:24:12 - 21:24:12)
[+n] fuck off, son, I'm not eating out of a sink like a cunt!
2015-05-26 (15:24:10 - 20:24:12)
[+n] That's right! I was going to make a Wii Fit pad farting game
2015-05-26 (11:24:09 - 14:24:09)
[+n] LOOK AT MY SON'S MIGHTY BALLS
2015-05-24 - 2015-05-26
[+n] I couldn't stop staring at Ultrons lips
2015-05-22 - 2015-05-24
[+n] MY FAVOURITE FLAVOUR OF UNIX IS PRAWN FUCKING COCKTAIL
2015-05-21 - 2015-05-22
[+n] I'm resposible for the needs of of an astrophysics department's unix infrastructure and two children. And I'm currently sat in my underpants, trying not to cry while fishing pringles out of my eye
2015-05-21 (13:23:45 - 21:23:48)
[+n] A willy going into a wank sleeve is NSFW as heckie
2015-05-21 (12:23:49 - 12:23:49)
[+n] At least I'm not a scruffy wankhobbit
2015-05-20 - 2015-05-21
[+n] I made a butt car!
2015-05-20 (21:23:40 - 21:23:40)
[+n] still talking about actual games.
2015-05-20 (19:23:44 - 20:23:43)
[+n] "booby tables" "penis lover" "dickbutt" "bigcock" "penis" "belmer" Who are these people playing my game!
2015-05-20 (16:23:43 - 18:23:42)
[+n] our family's first PC was a 10mb hdd, it might as well be a fucking record player.
2015-05-18 - 2015-05-20
[+n] I really do find the whole crotch sniffing thing incredibly difficult to cope with
2015-05-17 - 2015-05-18
[+n] hou're diong well
2015-05-15 - 2015-05-16
[+n] linford christie can't outrun time. is pizza without both sauce and cheese even pizza? (no) nazis are people too I guess?
2015-05-15 (13:44:33 - 21:44:29)
[+n] vomiting bats is bad enough
2015-05-15 (11:44:29 - 12:44:28)
[+n] needs bigger boobs though but close enough
2015-05-14 - 2015-05-15
[+n] Did I ever tell you about when I managed to trap my bollocks in the kitchen drawer?
2015-05-14 (12:44:18 - 20:44:23)
[+n] belmed it out of existence
2015-05-14 (11:44:22 - 11:44:22)
[+n] get some boob unhelpers
2015-05-11 - 2015-05-14
[+n] Seriously, I'd actually let someone boot me in the nuts if it meant no more tories
2015-05-11 (20:44:09 - 22:44:11)
[+n] I’d hate to have no anus
2015-05-11 (16:44:10 - 19:44:09)
[+n] I’m just sat here waiting because none of the companies selling VR headsets are actually selling VR headsets
2015-05-11 (12:44:07 - 15:46:56)
[+n] I put the "fuck wit" in "don't fuck wit me"
2015-05-10 - 2015-05-11
[+n] My mum thought she had diabetes but it was just the diuretic effect of loads if bulk-bought-on-offer sugar puffs
2015-05-09 - 2015-05-10
[+n] There's a reason that, in a pound shop, this was less than a pound
2015-05-09 (22:43:56 - 22:43:56)
[+n] You shouldn't use a vagina as a puppet
2015-05-09 (21:43:57 - 21:43:57)
[+n] Why aren't we talking about poo?
2015-05-09 (20:44:00 - 20:44:00)
[+n] we're going through a rare phase of not talking about poo, you should try to enjoy it while it lasts
2015-05-09 (17:43:58 - 19:44:01)
[+n] I already deleted Jingle Jangle Town and started Jesus Tits city
2015-05-08 - 2015-05-09
[+n] I have had at least half a host of beers
2015-05-08 (13:43:54 - 13:43:54)
[+n] THE ECONOMY IS A MAD MAX
2015-05-08 (07:43:53 - 12:43:53)
[+n] Ed Balls
2015-05-07 - 2015-05-08
[+n] Necrophilia would be my second choice for what should be done with my corpse - Richard Stallman
2015-05-07 (13:43:54 - 20:43:51)
[+n] their amazing new idea for dog anus cleaner
2015-05-07 (11:43:52 - 12:43:47)
[+n] 90% of everyone is a belmer
2015-05-06 - 2015-05-07
[+n] Now I'm thinking about ET's dick and the evening's gone weird
2015-05-06 (21:43:49 - 21:43:49)
[+n] Ed Miliband’s dad killed my kitten
2015-05-06 (16:43:49 - 20:43:45)
[+n] I was a busy teenager. I didn't have time to hang around not being pissed out my face
2015-05-06 (15:43:48 - 15:43:48)
[+n] ffs Iron Man, stop leaving these shitty nappies all over the Avengers HQ!!1
2015-05-06 (12:43:46 - 14:43:46)
[+n] A BUTTER BRITAIN IS BETTER
2015-05-06 (10:43:49 - 11:43:46)
[+n] A BETTER BRITAIN IS BETTER
2015-05-05 - 2015-05-06
[+n] See, everyone owns buttplugs
2015-05-05 (19:43:42 - 19:43:42)
[+n] my butt is open for business
2015-05-05 (15:43:44 - 18:43:39)
[+n] : I thought Gladiator was the most homo-erotic thing I'd ever seen but it's got nothing on Spartacus. It's Gladiator crossed with Mills and Boon crossed with what I imagine a lot of porn for gay men is like. I was pretty much instantly hooked.
2015-05-05 (13:43:42 - 14:43:45)
[+n] You've been literally outwitted
2015-05-03 - 2015-05-05
[+n] omg bothans look shit lol
2015-05-01 - 2015-05-03
[+n] There's no way this was built by a kid getting hit with a stick either, the build quality's too good
2015-04-30 - 2015-05-01
[+n] I would have vined my bare arse on it while making OM NOM NOM sounds
2015-04-29 - 2015-04-30
[+n] At this rate, their E3 presentation is just going to be their CEO sat in the middle of the stage on his own, crying and rubbing his own shit in his hair
2015-04-26 - 2015-04-29
[+n] Which might mean starting Kenny Loggins months in advance
2015-04-26 (08:57:29 - 09:57:27)
[+n] Which might mean starting Kenny Loggins months in advnace
2015-04-24 - 2015-04-26
[+n] FUCK YOU IN THE FACT
2015-04-24 (11:57:27 - 17:57:26)
[+n] TRICKY FOR A TOTAL ARSEHOLE
2015-04-23 - 2015-04-24
[+n] Turns out Iron Man was actually a watermelon in the suit all along
2015-04-22 - 2015-04-23
[+n] make your quads wobble
2015-04-21 - 2015-04-22
[+n] I would also have accepted John Major's finger.
2015-04-21 (08:57:02 - 10:57:03)
[+n] I'm watching Germans flirt
2015-04-20 - 2015-04-21
[+n] penis juice
2015-04-19 - 2015-04-20
[+n] there's some association between clowns and magnets in my brain
2015-04-18 - 2015-04-19
[+n] Just when you think Kenny Loggins can't get any cooler
2015-04-17 - 2015-04-18
[+n] i've been spending my times fingering
2015-04-17 (21:24:11 - 21:24:11)
[+n] "smeg limit"
2015-04-17 (15:24:08 - 20:24:15)
[+n] all I can focus on is arse
2015-04-17 (12:24:05 - 14:24:09)
[+n] BLAM, EYEBALLS EVERYWHERE
2015-04-15 - 2015-04-17
[+n] Thermite or dicks
2015-04-15 (20:23:57 - 20:23:57)
[+n] You have to throw jizz at Clarice Starling over a long distance
2015-04-14 - 2015-04-15
[+n] I'll make it with fucking balloon animals as long as I'm paid
2015-04-14 (13:23:49 - 22:23:55)
[+n] In the land of the anti-masturbation exploding hand implants, the auto-fellating man would be king.
2015-04-14 (11:23:49 - 12:23:48)
[+n] always going to be Liu Kang Wang in my head
2015-04-13 - 2015-04-14
[+n] I like to think I'm a grumpy cocoon, and as I turn 40, a proper miserable cunt of a butterfly will emerge from my tattered husk
2015-04-13 (21:23:45 - 21:23:45)
[+n] : I hate it in Maplin or GAME. There's always some fucker who hasn't washed their balls.
2015-04-12 - 2015-04-13
[+n] I’d love to say that that isn’t a massive pile of shit but it’s a massive pile of shit
2015-04-10 - 2015-04-12
[+n] That's me. I do that. I'm the market leader.
2015-04-09 - 2015-04-10
[+n] Macs are the solution to a problem they created themselves
2015-04-08 - 2015-04-09
[+n] FOAM?
2015-04-07 - 2015-04-08
[+n] would you say your current sausage count is... not a sausage?
2015-04-06 - 2015-04-07
[+n] I can't imagine what 'Bigfudge' could refer to but it sounds well funny
2015-04-06 (17:34:09 - 22:34:11)
[+n] I am the Bummer Ninja
2015-04-06 (11:34:06 - 16:34:10)
[+n] if a iron blooded and copper blooded creature could breed, surely the offspring would be several worlds of fucked
2015-04-05 - 2015-04-06
[+n] I’d be laughed out of javascript club for that
2015-04-03 - 2015-04-05
[+n] I can’t fake it when it comes to rating babies
2015-04-02 - 2015-04-03
[+n] 25900 light years is a surprisingly long way
2015-04-01 - 2015-04-02
[+n] Wait, why aren't we bumming?
2015-03-31 - 2015-04-01
[+n] Shrieky, Hat, and Flaps
2015-03-30 - 2015-03-31
[+n] That drop out of hyperspace didn't do my bumhole any favours
2015-03-30 (19:01:28 - 22:01:28)
[+n] Made a live stream "teen girl's bedroom live”. When you click on it, it's just a pic of the guy from To Catch a Predator
2015-03-30 (08:01:25 - 18:01:26)
[+n] On the train to spergtown
2015-03-29 - 2015-03-30
[+n] HD Ballsack
2015-03-27 - 2015-03-29
[+n] One day, society will regret shooting down my greatest invention: the Baby Tazer
2015-03-27 (15:52:09 - 19:52:11)
[+n] I should clean this hole and plug it with pink stuff
2015-03-27 (14:52:09 - 14:52:09)
[+n] Show me an apple's arsehole
2015-03-27 (10:52:08 - 13:52:08)
[+n] hell yeah i’m tuffinus!
2015-03-27 (01:52:02 - 09:52:09)
[+n] We communicate with each other by wiggling our fingers over a plastic tray of buttons
2015-03-26 (19:52:03 - 22:52:02)
[+n] I want to get a Unicorn Hat
2015-03-26 (12:52:02 - 17:52:01)
[+n] Fuck sake, Amazon is still recommending fake plastic poo to me
2015-03-26 (11:51:55 - 11:51:55)
[+n] I don't know much about roller derby other than it's like Road Rash with sports bras
2015-03-25 - 2015-03-26
[+n] Michael Crichton film with Tom Selleck as a robot cop
2015-03-24 - 2015-03-25
[+n] He's the one who blew up his kitchen with the treacle pudding
2015-03-24 (11:51:43 - 20:51:45)
[+n] I don’t actually have a penis. I don’t need lights on a motherboard.
2015-03-23 - 2015-03-24
[+n] I find the concept of dickbreakfast facinating
2015-03-23 (15:51:43 - 16:51:40)
[+n] I want to tape my foof shut forever now
2015-03-23 (10:51:37 - 14:51:42)
[+n] They are automatically in a subservient position because they want your monkey
2015-03-23 (00:51:37 - 09:51:39)
[+n] richard stallman, the high priest of shit computing
2015-03-21 - 2015-03-22
[+n] Urgh, it'll be possible for the first hipster on Mars to ride a penny farthing into space
2015-03-21 (21:51:34 - 21:51:34)
[+n] no one is that stupid, that's the card you're playing?
2015-03-21 (10:34:26 - 21:34:31)
[+n] don’t fucking test me, mops
2015-03-21 (02:34:27 - 09:34:29)
[+n] Wobbly Bottom
2015-03-21 (00:34:26 - 01:34:25)
[+n] Both websites have since been amended, removing the reference to Bellend, which is a slang term for a penis.
2015-03-20 (17:34:20 - 23:34:22)
[+n] Who wraps their vagina in vinegar and brown paper?
2015-03-20 (14:34:22 - 16:34:21)
[+n] bum tampon
2015-03-19 - 2015-03-20
[+n] Well that explains the random bagguettes around the house
2015-03-19 (17:34:15 - 17:34:15)
[+n] EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM MY MAMA
2015-03-19 (12:34:17 - 16:34:15)
[+n] erect a unit
2015-03-19 (11:34:13 - 11:34:13)
[+n] Having children leaves remarkably little time for writing a smutty Hayne's manual
2015-03-18 - 2015-03-19
[+n] He'd probably look blankly into space and say woah as he lobbed his jollop.
2015-03-18 (16:45:00 - 21:34:13)
[+n] I immediately spread Marmite on my ubb
2015-03-18 (14:44:58 - 15:44:58)
[+n] if I had poo in an icing bag I would do a lot more stuff with it than fill a balloon
2015-03-18 (13:44:57 - 13:44:57)
[+n] Turn all the nurses into nutrient paste to feed whales.
2015-03-17 - 2015-03-18
[+n] a TSUNAMI of absolute arse plasma
2015-03-17 (00:44:48 - 11:44:51)
[+n] it was just general piss
2015-03-16 (18:44:46 - 23:44:46)
[+n] I’m not sure I would attend the funeral of someone who was still alive tbh
2015-03-16 (16:44:50 - 17:44:47)
[+n] titty fucking zeus!
2015-03-15 - 2015-03-16
[+n] required for fusion dick missile
2015-03-14 - 2015-03-15
[+n] DADDY! WHY YOU NOT TALKING ABOUT THE MOON?
2015-03-14 (00:43:06 - 18:43:06)
[+n] Horace Goes Flapping
2015-03-13 (17:43:01 - 23:43:05)
[+n] when the Knight of Knob ventured into Arse Canyon
2015-03-13 (10:43:00 - 16:43:02)
[+n] I’ve just optimised your cock
2015-03-11 - 2015-03-13
[+n] pooping what could only be described as carbonated spam being pushed through a keyhole
2015-03-10 - 2015-03-11
[+n] Oort cloud is bloody miles away though
2015-03-10 (15:42:44 - 20:42:49)
[+n] Rassilon's Cursed Ringpiece
2015-03-09 - 2015-03-10
[+n] I can't wait to kick the fuck out of a lynx
2015-03-06 - 2015-03-09
[+n] ULTRABOT WINS BEST TOPIC *bleep*
2015-03-06 (16:20:19 - 18:20:18)
[+n] It's Fool Friday!
2015-03-06 (15:20:18 - 15:20:18)
[+n] They're all about collecting dog dicks and giving them to the guy with a ! above his head.
2015-03-06 (00:20:15 - 14:20:18)
[+n] how do people not die from catestrophic anus related disasters
2015-03-04 - 2015-03-05
[+n] fluid goes in my beer-flaps
2015-03-04 (15:20:03 - 19:20:03)
[+n] it just never occured to me that Mario's voice was done by a person
2015-03-04 (14:20:01 - 14:20:01)
[+n] CHEESE DICK RAMPAGE
2015-03-03 - 2015-03-04
[+n] To be fair, I do eat worms and crap on windscreens.
2015-03-03 (00:19:47 - 16:19:54)
[+n] that's a considerable amount of cock
2015-03-02 (00:19:38 - 23:19:48)
[+n] For £10/hour I want to at least be putting my dick in something
2015-03-01 (18:19:46 - 23:19:42)
[+n] I have seen a quite frankly incredible number of dildos
2015-02-27 - 2015-03-01
[+n] Live long and prosper
2015-02-27 (09:03:22 - 19:03:23)
[+n] e-gina preening
2015-02-25 - 2015-02-27
[+n] Who has more than one empty jam jar at a time?
2015-02-25 (21:03:09 - 22:03:09)
[+n] Do colours work in the topic?
2015-02-25 (16:03:06 - 20:03:08)
[+n] It tastes like something that's been kept in a plastic bottle for too long
2015-02-24 - 2015-02-25
[+n] I dont know whay any of the rest of those are
2015-02-23 - 2015-02-24
[+n] never underestimate the appeal of a box of pens
2015-02-22 - 2015-02-23
[+n] I didn't have the strength to poke her up the arse
2015-02-22 (19:02:42 - 20:02:39)
[+n] MAXTWAT
2015-02-22 (00:02:40 - 18:02:48)
[+n] Serious Butt Issues
2015-02-21 (15:02:33 - 23:02:36)
[+n] I have managed to get out of ben
2015-02-21 (14:02:32 - 14:02:32)
[+n] yeah, fuck me, I love a bit of trumpe
2015-02-21 (13:02:32 - 13:02:32)
[+n] *turd
2015-02-20 - 2015-02-21
[+n] They don’t even work without some bloke’s hand up their arse
2015-02-19 - 2015-02-20
[+n] What struck me about Alien when I first saw it is that it's kind of like Red Dwarf but not funny.
2015-02-18 - 2015-02-19
[+n] the promo photos make them look like such a twatshoe
2015-02-18 (13:41:38 - 17:41:40)
[+n] Like the gatekeeper and the keymaster of dick
2015-02-18 (10:41:37 - 12:41:39)
[+n] A friend of mine fancies herself as a blogger, and I suppose she is, given she has a wordpress account
2015-02-17 - 2015-02-18
[+n] I LOVE PUSHING EGGS UP MY BOTTOM. MMM. EGGY BUM BUM.
2015-02-17 (12:41:29 - 20:41:29)
[+n] Why are there bloody fruit and veg stalls in a military base?
2015-02-16 - 2015-02-17
[+n] [whilst leaving a job, to a fellow colleague] “you are probably the person I will miss least”
2015-02-16 (10:41:20 - 12:41:22)
[+n] I was gonna say 'I just want something hot and salty' then realised that looked like blatant /topic baiting.
2015-02-15 - 2015-02-16
[+n] The balloons on its bum look a bit like sperms from a distance
2015-02-15 (13:09:04 - 20:41:15)
[+n] I get to continue being me, she has to continue being someone with a face like a shoe
2015-02-13 - 2015-02-15
[+n] Tactical Web Application Team
2015-02-12 - 2015-02-13
[+n] masturbated to completion
2015-02-12 (01:04:34 - 21:04:47)
[+n] metal willy boom blast
2015-02-11 (19:04:30 - 23:04:32)
[+n] Yes. Fuck everything. Web 1.0 all the way.
2015-02-11 (12:04:36 - 12:04:36)
[+n] Midget and Tory MP have sex with Tesco lasagne
2015-02-11 (02:04:35 - 11:04:26)
[+n] I always like the French entry
2015-02-10 (16:04:17 - 22:04:22)
[+n] <Lizzip> I'm [something, something] wrong about games
2015-02-10 (15:04:19 - 15:04:19)
[+n] 'How do wank?' 'Massage ball thing'
2015-02-10 (13:04:17 - 13:04:17)
[+n] Gah, fuck, I scrolled for ages looking for the opening <autism> tag
2015-02-10 (12:04:18 - 12:04:18)
[+n] SOMETHING REALLY PROFESSIONAL INSTEAD
2015-02-09 - 2015-02-10
[+n] play with your balls
2015-02-09 (20:39:23 - 22:04:12)
[+n] Gnu is an acroynm that stands for "eating out of a dumpster"
2015-02-09 (19:39:21 - 19:39:21)
[+n] party bum noises
2015-02-06 - 2015-02-09
[+n] I have a nice lunchbox
2015-02-06 (09:38:53 - 13:38:55)
[+n] Oh pigpiss, Valentines day
2015-02-05 - 2015-02-06
[+n] First time I handled one was on a school trip in the 80s
2015-02-04 - 2015-02-05
[+n] "time for a poo" (*** Stand back. I'm going to do a backup. ***)
2015-02-04 (13:38:40 - 14:38:39)
[+n] gah, my wang!
2015-02-04 (12:38:38 - 12:38:38)
[+n] he thinks David Hasslehoff is the epitome of sex, so I trust his judgement
2015-02-04 (11:38:41 - 11:38:41)
[+n] His knick-knacks rest in wooden cubbies behind him
2015-02-03 - 2015-02-04
[+n] I have literally had sales people ask me for features that would require us to break the laws of physics
2015-02-03 (15:38:25 - 16:38:36)
[+n] Also, I accidentally shouted "FUCKING BONUS" in the corridor because I found a Double Decker in my coat pocket.
2015-02-02 - 2015-02-03
[+n] I just want something to do quick touch ups
2015-02-01 - 2015-02-02
[+n] it tasted like drinking a grandad
2015-01-31 (23:38:11 - 23:38:11)
[+n] I need to be put down by the rspca
2015-01-31 (21:38:11 - 22:38:11)
[+n] I got watch dogs for free. I feel I was overcharged
2015-01-30 - 2015-01-31
[+n] My rectum is devoid of nutty truncheon
2015-01-30 (22:38:01 - 22:38:01)
[+n] I get the same experience as your fanny hand when I eat a packet of skips
2015-01-30 (14:38:04 - 21:38:00)
[+n] THAT’S A CHICK FLICK! I HAVE A PENIS! YOU’RE OPPRESSING ME BY MAKING ME UNABLE TO WATCH A NEW GHOSTBUSTERS FILM BECAUSE MY MATES WILL THINK I AM GAY IF I SEE IT
2015-01-29 - 2015-01-30
[+n] Nobbers gonna nob
2015-01-29 (19:02:23 - 22:37:58)
[+n] Mel A^2 + Mel B^2 = Mel C^2
2015-01-29 (13:02:29 - 18:02:26)
[+n] Le dong
2015-01-29 (00:02:19 - 12:02:23)
[+n] It's been...23(?) years since I drew a cock on Caecilius
2015-01-28 (23:02:15 - 23:02:15)
[+n] Funtime Buttheads
2015-01-28 (21:02:17 - 22:02:14)
[+n] I'm so full of cock. As problems go, I've had worse ones.
2015-01-28 (15:02:18 - 20:02:15)
[+n] From the very brief look I got, I believe it was Margaret Thatcher riding a giant penis in space
2015-01-28 (13:02:14 - 14:02:15)
[+n] Everyone knows that if you really want to fuck up a ghost you need a dick.
2015-01-27 - 2015-01-28
[+n] George Lucas's neck
2015-01-27 (19:02:16 - 21:02:08)
[+n] I am thrilled the mystery of smell blocking has been solved
2015-01-27 (17:02:06 - 18:02:09)
[+n] : Tax is hard; let's go shopping!
2015-01-26 - 2015-01-27
[+n] Hah, you could teleport a turd out of you and into someone's hat.
2015-01-25 - 2015-01-26
[+n] normal tea tastes like a boiled wallet
2015-01-25 (20:19:32 - 21:19:33)
[+n] My dick's out again
2015-01-25 (11:19:36 - 19:19:33)
[+n] i fucking hate nic cage, i would force feed him his shoes and wait until he poos out the shoes then make him eat the shoe poo
2015-01-24 - 2015-01-25
[+n] I've cleaned her up now but her bedroom smells like a festival toilet
2015-01-24 (19:19:26 - 20:19:27)
[+n] That was so many balls
2015-01-24 (14:19:25 - 18:19:27)
[+n] SHUT IT, POO
2015-01-22 - 2015-01-24
[+n] like a deformed unicorn
2015-01-20 - 2015-01-22
[+n] HANG ON. SINCE WHEN HAVE I HAD A KNOB??
2015-01-18 - 2015-01-20
[+n] You cunt witch!
2015-01-17 - 2015-01-18
[+n] I need to craft some trousers. My cock's flapping about all over the place.
2015-01-17 (16:18:28 - 20:18:32)
[+n] prefix faff
2015-01-16 - 2015-01-17
[+n] I'll never forget how fucking mental she went when I wrote FUCK on the shed roof.
2015-01-16 (16:18:23 - 21:18:23)
[+n] I’m more concerned with someone googling my username and getting a page full of dick
2015-01-16 (01:18:18 - 15:18:22)
[+n] my mum broke off a wood spoon in my arse once
2015-01-16 (00:18:14 - 00:18:14)
[+n] : All I can think of is a couple of budgies swirling down the shitter and...well, that's kind of all there is.
2015-01-15 (22:18:16 - 23:18:13)
[+n] Pisses don't come out of the vagina!
2015-01-15 (21:18:16 - 21:18:16)
[+n] We should ask them about dick
2015-01-15 (15:18:12 - 20:18:15)
[+n] Semen and biscuits will be provided at the meeting tomorrow.
2015-01-15 (14:18:12 - 14:18:12)
[+n] Ain't no grudge like an s-club grudge
2015-01-15 (13:18:12 - 13:18:12)
[+n] I'm going to think of Swedish minges every time I eat those now.
2015-01-15 (12:18:12 - 12:18:12)
[+n] Here comes Willie at a run, he has no pants
2015-01-15 (11:18:12 - 11:18:12)
[+n] Surely you're not alone if you have a Cow
2015-01-14 - 2015-01-15
[+n] bumholes
2015-01-14 (16:18:07 - 20:18:05)
[+n] Why do people put documents in my fruit bowl and not in my in-tray which has a sign on it saying 'in-tray'?
2015-01-13 - 2015-01-14
[+n] when in doubt, you may as well be pessimistic. Well, to be honest, you should be pessimistic even when you have no doubts.
2015-01-13 (21:17:58 - 22:18:00)
[+n] X11 on the Mac is like visiting a city only to discover there’s no toilets so everyone just poos in the streets, and you find this out because you’re standing in a foot of shit.
2015-01-13 (15:17:59 - 20:18:01)
[+n] Asking a windows user to do something on the command line is like asking a blind person if your finger smells of shit. It's just pointless and unnecessarily cruel.
2015-01-13 (14:18:00 - 14:18:00)
[+n] THERE ARE FOUR BROTHERS
2015-01-11 - 2015-01-13
[+n] loitering is a crime, punishable by death
2015-01-10 - 2015-01-11
[+n] I wonder how Ello's doing. That was bollocks
2015-01-10 (21:17:36 - 21:17:36)
[+n] wank furiously
2015-01-10 (12:17:34 - 20:17:34)
[+n] Just shit in the sink and be done with it
2015-01-09 - 2015-01-10
[+n] MARGARET THATCHER IS NOW FLICKING SHIT AT YOUR CLIT
2015-01-09 (00:17:21 - 22:17:27)
[+n] every single system that can be used for free will be filled with fuckwits fucking it up
2015-01-08 (22:17:19 - 23:17:25)
[+n] Spunk is definitely the funniest thing that comes out of a dick
2015-01-08 (21:17:20 - 21:17:20)
[+n] Have you come forth for us to butter thy crumpet?
2015-01-07 - 2015-01-08
[+n] may you butter ever be spread thickly
2015-01-07 (15:17:13 - 20:17:10)
[+n] I am enjoying this buttery theme
2015-01-07 (14:17:10 - 14:17:10)
[+n] I really have developed some sort of heart; this is awful.
2015-01-07 (12:17:11 - 13:17:09)
[+n] Bill Gates shitting in a cup
2015-01-06 - 2015-01-07
[+n] I guess actually telling this story also looks pretty bad
2015-01-06 (00:16:58 - 16:17:00)
[+n] have created a new fursona for netflix
2015-01-05 (23:16:57 - 23:16:57)
[+n] pickled coochies in the drawers in small glass jars
2015-01-05 (17:17:00 - 22:16:56)
[+n] ACCEPT FRIENDSHIP WORMS
2015-01-05 (13:16:52 - 16:16:57)
[+n] oh I've missed you, spirit of laziness and apathy
2015-01-05 (11:16:59 - 12:16:52)
[+n] you just ruined 2015
2015-01-05 (10:16:56 - 10:16:56)
[+n] Photographers are not people
2015-01-05 (09:16:52 - 09:16:52)
[+n] : fuck i've forgotten how to do my job
2015-01-04 - 2015-01-05
[+n] POOP SHITS WANG TITS
2015-01-04 (13:16:50 - 17:16:47)
[+n] so, answer is no. you'd just have a huge great big pile of babies
2015-01-04 (12:16:46 - 12:16:46)
[+n] the concept of another human coming into existence inside you then being ejected into the world via your genitals is pretty fucking weird
2015-01-04 (01:16:42 - 11:16:48)
[+n] Jayne Shat no more
2015-01-03 - 2015-01-04
[+n] Jayne Shat
2015-01-03 (14:16:39 - 18:16:41)
[+n] full upper torso wank
2015-01-03 (08:16:36 - 13:16:43)
[+n] Ssh cunt typing prick phone thing
2015-01-02 - 2015-01-03
[+n] Either my mum is making toast or I'm about to have a stroke.
2015-01-02 (14:16:32 - 16:16:35)
[+n] Recommended for fans of: pants-shitting
2015-01-02 (03:16:26 - 13:16:30)
[+n] : Fucking mineral magpie dickbag
2015-01-02 (02:16:25 - 02:16:25)
[+n] There's a dump limit of 20 tonnes
2015-01-01 - 2015-01-02
[+n] wobbling bell ends
2015-01-01 (15:07:25 - 22:16:26)
[+n] JEEERBS!
2014-12-31 - 2015-01-01
[+n] I already invented Bum Goblins by accident.
2014-12-30 (18:49:52 - 23:07:02)
[+n] general ambient fucking
2014-12-30 (15:49:49 - 17:49:50)
[+n] I should do a practice cock!
2014-12-30 (13:49:51 - 14:49:49)
[+n] I'm not a hippy but I like my bum parcelled in fabric.
2014-12-30 (10:49:48 - 12:49:51)
[+n] I had an excruciatingly vivid and detailed dream about taking a shit in a sink while a room full of people were asking why on earth I was shitting in the sink
2014-12-27 - 2014-12-30
[+n] I don't feel tired but I suppose I must be because I'm laughing at the phrase 'powdered egg'.
2014-12-27 (22:49:28 - 22:49:28)
[+n] Willy Waggle Sim 2000
2014-12-27 (12:49:20 - 21:49:22)
[+n] there was a kid yelling 'Papa, regardez! Papa, regardez!' and I thought 'FFS, Papa, regardez your daughter already'
2014-12-26 - 2014-12-27
[+n] pance
2014-12-26 (11:49:11 - 19:49:14)
[+n] Christmas is over. Internet Curfew Has Ended
2014-12-25 - 2014-12-26
[+n] I can't talk about having no life - I'm updating one of my spreadsheets as we speak.
2014-12-25 (20:49:08 - 21:49:10)
[+n] SOME OF US HAVE NO LIFE AND NO CHOICE http://eliteadvisor.uk/
It's Christmas, get off the cunting internet!
2014-12-24 - 2014-12-25
[+n] Why can't you do that all the time, anus?
2014-12-24 (16:48:58 - 22:48:58)
[+n] I want to be the pirate who shoots your cargo bay doors off! *sexy music starts playing*
2014-12-24 (13:48:57 - 15:49:01)
[+n] Just put it down. It's obviously a crap dog if no-one wants it after nearly 2 years
2014-12-24 (12:49:00 - 12:49:00)
[+n] Cunts cunts cunts cunts cunting cunty cunts
2014-12-23 - 2014-12-24
[+n] I just caught myself making another spreadsheet for fun.
2014-12-22 - 2014-12-23
[+n] Your hoop produces 78% of the world's dumps, that is for sure.