2024-03-22 - 2024-03-29 |
|Welcome to ♥#DUBAI♥ Keep Safe and Healthy, KIF Rules: Eng/Arabic Only. NO/Swearing,Politics,Religious/Racist comments |
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2021-05-21 - 2021-05-27 |
He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-18 - 2021-02-19 |
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-13 - 2021-02-19 |
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-03 - 2020-12-14 |
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-12-14 |
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. -Frank Capra Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-18 - 2020-12-14 |
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)...and says, "Here, you can go." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-06 - 2020-12-14 |
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-12 - 2020-12-14 |
Even snakes are afraid of snakes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-03 - 2020-12-14 |
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-12-14 |
I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy, "Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I don't want your job." -Steve |
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2020-11-30 - 2020-12-14 |
When the way comes to an end, then change - having changed, you pass through. -I Ching Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-09 - 2020-12-14 |
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-15 - 2020-12-14 |
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-12-14 |
It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end -Ursula K. Le Guin Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-14 (07:17:21 - 07:17:21) |
Are w#e b.ug free yet?!@! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-12-14 |
"In the fight between you and the world, back the world." -Frank Zappa Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-08 - 2020-12-14 |
Linux. The choice of a GNU generation Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-19 - 2020-12-14 |
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, an |
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2020-11-29 - 2020-12-14 |
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-12-14 |
There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-01 - 2020-12-14 |
I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-08 - 2020-12-14 |
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-12 - 2020-12-13 |
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-12-13 |
Is "tired old cliche" one? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-12 - 2020-12-13 |
Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-31 - 2020-12-13 |
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-06 - 2020-12-13 |
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-12 - 2020-12-13 |
I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-29 - 2020-12-13 |
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-06 - 2020-12-13 |
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-14 - 2020-12-13 |
"Ah! How good it feels the hand of an old friend." -Longfellow Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-17 - 2020-12-13 |
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-02 - 2020-12-13 |
You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step? I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-08 - 2020-12-13 |
WOMEN.ZIP: A great program, but it doesn't come with documentation... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-10 - 2020-12-13 |
Buy a Pentium II so you can reboot faster. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-22 - 2020-12-13 |
Hit any user to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-15 - 2020-12-13 |
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-27 - 2020-12-13 |
I invented the cordless extension cord. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-12-13 |
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-12-13 |
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-12 - 2020-12-12 |
Avoid the Fortran arithmetic IF (or better yet, just avoid Fortran). Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-16 - 2020-12-12 |
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-12-12 |
"Friendship is one mind in two bodies."- Mencius Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-16 - 2020-12-12 |
29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-03 - 2020-12-12 |
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-11 - 2020-12-12 |
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diet. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-03 - 2020-12-12 |
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not so sure about the universe." -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-09 - 2020-12-12 |
In /dev/null no one can hear you scream Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-08 - 2020-12-12 |
If at first you don't succeed, try management. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-12-12 |
Another megabytes the dust. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-26 - 2020-12-12 |
For a while I didn't have a car...I had a helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running...[slow glance upward] -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-06 - 2020-12-12 |
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-11 - 2020-12-12 |
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-28 - 2020-12-12 |
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people........ Hmmm wonder who said that.. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-26 - 2020-12-12 |
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-11 - 2020-12-12 |
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-14 - 2020-12-12 |
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-11 - 2020-12-12 |
Genius, in truth, means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way. -William James Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-12-11 |
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-04 - 2020-12-11 |
Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right. -Henry Ford Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-10 - 2020-12-11 |
"No man is a failure that has friends." -It's a Wonderful Life Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-10 - 2020-12-11 |
What is originality? Undetected plagiarism. -Dean William R. Inge Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-13 - 2020-12-11 |
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-08 - 2020-12-11 |
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-15 - 2020-12-11 |
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-12 - 2020-12-11 |
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-12-11 |
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning...[picks up his glass of water from the stool]...I like to live on the edge... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-06 - 2020-12-11 |
Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-30 - 2020-12-11 |
STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-09 - 2020-12-11 |
"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite." -William Blake Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-07 - 2020-12-11 |
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store...with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store." -Steven Wright L |
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2020-10-12 - 2020-12-11 |
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-01 - 2020-12-11 |
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-29 - 2020-12-11 |
My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-15 - 2020-12-11 |
Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. |
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2020-10-03 - 2020-12-11 |
It hurts to be on the cutting edge. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-03 - 2020-12-11 |
Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further development. Julius Sextus Frontinus Source: Highly regarded engineer in Rome, 1st century A.D. > Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-28 - 2020-12-10 |
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-15 - 2020-12-10 |
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-29 - 2020-12-10 |
'Despite all my rage i'm still just a rat in a cage..' Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-26 - 2020-12-10 |
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-27 - 2020-12-10 |
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-26 - 2020-12-10 |
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-13 - 2020-12-10 |
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-03 - 2020-12-10 |
"Imagination is more important than knowledge!" -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-02 - 2020-12-10 |
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-10 - 2020-12-10 |
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-12 - 2020-12-10 |
I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-16 - 2020-12-10 |
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-12-10 |
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-30 - 2020-12-10 |
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-15 - 2020-12-09 |
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-15 - 2020-12-09 |
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-09 - 2020-12-09 |
The more you think, the more time you have. -Henry Ford Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-12-09 |
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-09 (16:16:44 - 16:16:44) |
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-12-09 |
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-03 - 2020-12-09 |
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-10 - 2020-12-09 |
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-29 - 2020-12-09 |
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer". Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all the c |
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2020-10-02 - 2020-12-09 |
It's a fine night to have an evening. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-09 - 2020-12-09 |
Yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for. You put them on doughbolts. They hold dough airplanes together. For kids, they make erector sets out of play-dough. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-01 - 2020-12-09 |
Genius is one percent inspiration, and ninety-nine percent perspiration. -Thomas Edison Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-03 - 2020-12-09 |
It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-19 - 2020-12-09 |
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-04 - 2020-12-09 |
The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-10 - 2020-12-09 |
"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-02 - 2020-12-09 |
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-06 - 2020-12-08 |
Cause its a jungle out there Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-10 - 2020-12-08 |
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-14 - 2020-12-08 |
"Silence is Foo." -Woody Woodpecker Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-02 - 2020-12-08 |
A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free. -Nikos Kazantzakis Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-12-08 |
I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-06 - 2020-12-08 |
What's another word for Thesaurus? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-03 - 2020-12-08 |
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-15 - 2020-12-08 |
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. -Isaac Newton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-15 - 2020-12-08 |
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-18 - 2020-12-08 |
If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-29 - 2020-12-08 |
I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-12 - 2020-12-08 |
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-08 (02:16:33 - 02:16:33) |
The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere...and let the air out of their tires. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-21 - 2020-12-08 |
Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-27 - 2020-12-07 |
All great discoveries are made by mistake. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-27 - 2020-12-07 |
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-02 - 2020-12-07 |
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-05 - 2020-12-07 |
There are three ways to get things done! 1) do it yourself 2) employ someone else 3) forbid your children to do it... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-08 - 2020-12-07 |
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-21 - 2020-12-07 |
One cannot step twice into the same river. -Heraclitus Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-20 - 2020-12-07 |
Not for rent. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-12 - 2020-12-07 |
I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-16 - 2020-12-07 |
I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-14 - 2020-12-07 |
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-07 (07:16:27 - 07:16:27) |
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-29 - 2020-12-07 |
"I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere." -Anon Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-01 - 2020-12-07 |
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-14 - 2020-12-07 |
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-07 (02:16:25 - 02:16:25) |
Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity...If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-12-07 |
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-06 - 2020-12-07 |
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading...and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-09 - 2020-12-06 |
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-05 - 2020-12-06 |
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-01 - 2020-12-06 |
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-06 (14:16:21 - 14:16:21) |
If only women came with pull-down menus and online help. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-04 - 2020-12-06 |
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-18 - 2020-12-06 |
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-12 - 2020-12-06 |
"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-06 (03:16:17 - 03:16:17) |
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-15 - 2020-12-06 |
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-09 - 2020-12-06 |
"To thine own self be true." -William Shakespaere Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-20 - 2020-12-05 |
In the dim background of mind we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start. -William James Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-17 - 2020-12-05 |
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-07 - 2020-12-05 |
Any program that runs right is obsolete. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-12-05 (19:16:17 - 19:16:17) |
Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. -Chinese Proverb Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-04 - 2020-12-05 |
I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-06 - 2020-12-05 |
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-04 - 2020-12-05 |
Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-26 - 2020-12-05 |
I had my coathangers spayed. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-02 - 2020-12-05 |
A day without sunshine is like night. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-10 - 2020-12-05 |
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-04 - 2020-12-05 |
"Great spirits have always encounted violent opposition from those with mediocre minds." -albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-12-05 |
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-12-05 |
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-02 - 2020-12-05 |
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-12-05 |
"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-12-04 |
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 - 2020-12-04 |
"An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it." -Anon Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-12-04 (21:16:09 - 21:16:09) |
Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-12-04 (19:16:23 - 19:16:23) |
I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-04 - 2020-12-04 |
Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced. -Ned Rorem Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-14 - 2020-12-04 |
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-12-04 (14:16:09 - 14:16:09) |
This isn't all true. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-10 - 2020-12-04 |
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-16 - 2020-12-04 |
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered with a searching but at the same time steady eye. -Winston Churchill Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-14 - 2020-12-04 |
"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere" -Tim McGraw Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-12-04 |
Age is important only if you're cheese and wine. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-14 - 2020-12-04 |
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-16 - 2020-12-04 |
What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-12-04 |
Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-10 - 2020-12-04 |
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-12-04 (00:16:04 - 00:16:04) |
I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-29 - 2020-12-03 |
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 - 2020-12-03 |
If God had intended Man to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-22 - 2020-12-03 |
[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-05 - 2020-12-03 |
I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-12-03 |
My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-08 - 2020-12-03 |
The sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-17 - 2020-12-03 |
"Random quotes can be most effecatious." -Anon Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 - 2020-12-03 |
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-27 - 2020-12-03 |
I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-05 - 2020-12-03 |
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought." -Bash Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-08 - 2020-12-03 |
If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-12-02 |
I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-12-02 |
Smoking cures weight problems...eventually... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-12-02 (18:15:52 - 18:15:52) |
Write as if you are dying -Annie Dillard Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 - 2020-12-02 |
To live is to have problems and to solve problems is to grow intellectually -J. P. Guilford Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-12-02 |
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-12-02 (09:16:03 - 09:16:03) |
I have a microwave fireplace in my house...The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-06 - 2020-12-02 |
I do not seek. I find. -Pablo Picasso Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-31 - 2020-12-01 |
I can't stop thinking like this. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 - 2020-12-01 |
On the other hand, you have different fingers. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-12-01 (17:15:47 - 17:15:47) |
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-07 - 2020-12-01 |
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-12-01 |
"I'm not young enough to know everything." -J. M. Barrie Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-11 - 2020-12-01 |
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-05 - 2020-12-01 |
nice to the nerds and geeks in high school - you'll be working for them in the future Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-12 - 2020-12-01 |
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it it. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-30 |
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-30 (21:15:42 - 21:15:42) |
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-06 - 2020-11-30 |
The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them. -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 - 2020-11-30 |
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-10 - 2020-11-30 |
"Hold a true friend with both your hands." -Nigerian Proverb Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-11-30 |
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-04 - 2020-11-30 |
"I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's. I will not reason and compare; My business is to create." -William Blake Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-13 - 2020-11-30 |
First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-29 - 2020-11-30 |
I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-29 - 2020-11-30 |
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-27 - 2020-11-30 |
"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-29 - 2020-11-30 |
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-11 - 2020-11-30 |
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-03 - 2020-11-29 |
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-13 - 2020-11-29 |
2 + 2 = 6 for extremely large values of 2. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-11 - 2020-11-29 |
The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: that a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed; but a thing created is loved before it exists. -Charles Dickens Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-28 - 2020-11-29 |
Killed (ChanServ (You've been online too long)) Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-17 - 2020-11-29 |
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-29 (12:15:31 - 12:15:31) |
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-11-29 |
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-27 - 2020-11-29 |
intellectual: a person who has been educated beyond his/her mental capacity Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-29 (00:15:23 - 00:15:23) |
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." -Charles Caleb Colton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-28 (19:15:36 - 19:15:36) |
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-11-28 |
I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-28 (11:15:19 - 14:15:24) |
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-28 |
I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-31 - 2020-11-28 |
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-09 - 2020-11-28 |
I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-08 - 2020-11-28 |
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-25 - 2020-11-28 |
"Spock, I thought you were dead?" - "No Sir, I Rebooted" Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-26 - 2020-11-27 |
A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-01 - 2020-11-27 |
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-11 - 2020-11-27 |
I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-28 - 2020-11-27 |
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff." -Frank Zappa Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-14 - 2020-11-27 |
An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. -Dr. Edwin Land Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 - 2020-11-27 |
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-05 - 2020-11-27 |
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-27 (03:15:11 - 03:15:11) |
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-15 - 2020-11-27 |
WORK: Unknown Command Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-26 (22:15:09 - 22:15:09) |
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-01 - 2020-11-26 |
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-13 - 2020-11-26 |
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-11-26 |
I support PETA...People Eating Tasty Animals Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-31 - 2020-11-26 |
If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-06 - 2020-11-26 |
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-26 (06:15:16 - 06:15:16) |
[Unix] is not necessarily evil, like OS/2. - Peter Norton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-26 - 2020-11-26 |
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-11-25 |
You lose it if you talk about it. -Ernest Hemingway Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-29 - 2020-11-25 |
Unable to join #real_life (You're banned) Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-10 - 2020-11-25 |
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 - 2020-11-25 |
Old Age Comes at a Bad Time Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-12 - 2020-11-25 |
When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-24 - 2020-11-25 |
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-13 - 2020-11-25 |
Press CTRL + !@#$#@^#$&!@%& to continue ... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-24 |
I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-27 - 2020-11-24 |
A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said, "See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it." -Steven Wright Little |
|
2020-11-20 - 2020-11-24 |
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-14 - 2020-11-24 |
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-17 - 2020-11-24 |
kill -9 irc Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-11-24 |
43% of all statistics are worthless. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-08 - 2020-11-23 |
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-23 (12:14:38 - 19:14:42) |
The best kind of friend is the kind that you could sit all day on a porch swing with and never say a word, then get up and leave feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-23 (10:14:38 - 10:14:38) |
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-03 - 2020-11-23 |
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-29 - 2020-11-23 |
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-10 - 2020-11-23 |
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-23 (03:14:36 - 03:14:36) |
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 - 2020-11-23 |
The beatings will continue until morale improves. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-03 - 2020-11-23 |
I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-05 - 2020-11-22 |
Sally plays strip poker. Whenever she loses, she has to put something on. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-26 - 2020-11-22 |
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-22 |
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-06 - 2020-11-22 |
Persistance is the hard work that you do after you are tired of doing the hard work you already did -Newt Gingrich Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-11-22 |
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-11 - 2020-11-22 |
The mind, like a parachute, works best when it's open... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-22 (12:14:31 - 12:14:31) |
You May Stop me.....!!BUT YOU CANT STOP US ALL!!... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-19 - 2020-11-22 |
APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-27 - 2020-11-22 |
To be a man of knowledge one needs to be light and fluid -Yaqui Mystic Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-22 |
Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 - 2020-11-22 |
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-22 (04:14:30 - 04:14:30) |
A wise man learns more from his enemies than a fool does from his friends Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-21 |
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-21 (13:14:25 - 13:14:25) |
I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-26 - 2020-11-21 |
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-26 - 2020-11-20 |
"I undoubtedly have deserved my enemies, but I doubt I have deserved my friends." -Walt Whitman Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-18 - 2020-11-20 |
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it...it feels real." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-20 (15:14:21 - 15:14:21) |
I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know... my calendar has no sevens on it." -Steven Wright Little Gh |
|
2020-10-30 - 2020-11-20 |
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-10 - 2020-11-20 |
Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-19 (21:14:17 - 21:14:17) |
When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-19 (20:14:13 - 20:14:13) |
Succeed in spite of management. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-19 |
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-05 - 2020-11-19 |
Who's Peer & why did he reset my connection? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-01 - 2020-11-19 |
Families are like fudge...mostly sweet with a few nuts. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-18 (21:14:07 - 21:14:07) |
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-06 - 2020-11-18 |
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes". -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-31 - 2020-11-18 |
One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak. -G. K. Chesterton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-05 - 2020-11-18 |
A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-11-18 |
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-03 - 2020-11-18 |
We waste time, so you don't have to. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-16 - 2020-11-17 |
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-08 - 2020-11-17 |
My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-17 (08:18:41 - 08:18:41) |
I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-17 (07:13:59 - 07:13:59) |
Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-16 - 2020-11-17 |
"My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." -Lee Iacocca Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-13 - 2020-11-16 |
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-05 - 2020-11-16 |
I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-26 - 2020-11-16 |
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-13 - 2020-11-16 |
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-13 - 2020-11-16 |
The only joy in the world is to begin. -Cesare Pavese Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-08 - 2020-11-15 |
I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-04 - 2020-11-15 |
If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-06 - 2020-11-15 |
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-03 - 2020-11-15 |
The beatings will continue until morale improves. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-11 - 2020-11-15 |
Music is the art of thinking with sounds. -Jules Combarie Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-11 - 2020-11-15 |
WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-14 (19:13:39 - 19:13:39) |
"So, do you live around here often?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-14 (15:13:35 - 15:13:35) |
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-10 - 2020-11-14 |
I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-14 - 2020-11-14 |
"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-11 - 2020-11-14 |
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-11-13 |
I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl. She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on." I said, "Yeah, I know, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-26 - 2020-11-13 |
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-11-13 |
Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-13 (14:13:25 - 14:13:25) |
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-30 - 2020-11-13 |
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-13 (12:13:25 - 12:13:25) |
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-13 - 2020-11-13 |
I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-03 - 2020-11-13 |
A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-01 - 2020-11-13 |
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-04 - 2020-11-13 |
I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-06 - 2020-11-13 |
"To ask the hard question is simple. -W. H. Auden Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-12 (11:13:16 - 11:13:16) |
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-05 - 2020-11-12 |
"Life is:'trying things to see if they work'" -Ray Bradbury Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-14 - 2020-11-12 |
I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-11 (19:13:25 - 19:13:25) |
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-11 (15:13:10 - 15:13:10) |
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-02 - 2020-11-11 |
Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-03 - 2020-11-11 |
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-11 (06:13:08 - 06:13:08) |
The sky already fell. Now what? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-10 (18:13:21 - 18:13:21) |
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-10 (06:13:01 - 06:13:01) |
The map is not the territory -Alfred Korzbyski Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-30 - 2020-11-10 |
There aren't enough days in the weekend. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-12 - 2020-11-09 |
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-09 - 2020-11-09 |
Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-07 - 2020-11-09 |
I always wanted to be a procrastinator; I never got around to it. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-11-09 |
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-11-09 |
Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-09 (03:12:54 - 03:12:54) |
I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-13 - 2020-11-08 |
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-08 (10:13:01 - 10:13:01) |
The obvious is always least understood -Prince Metternich Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-11-08 |
You cannot mandate productivity, you must provide the tools to let people become their best. -Steve Jobs Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-08 - 2020-11-08 |
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-07 (23:12:43 - 23:12:43) |
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-07 (20:12:43 - 20:12:43) |
I plan on living forever. So far, so good. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-07 (17:12:43 - 17:12:43) |
I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 - 2020-11-07 |
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-11-06 |
E-mail returned to sender: insufficient voltage. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-09 - 2020-11-06 |
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend." -Albert Camus. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-05 (18:12:31 - 18:12:31) |
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-14 - 2020-11-04 |
If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-11-04 (08:12:17 - 08:12:17) |
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-16 - 2020-11-03 |
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-30 - 2020-11-03 |
Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-03 (01:12:08 - 01:12:08) |
"#define QUESTION ((bb) !(bb)) - Shakespeare." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-02 (23:12:08 - 23:12:08) |
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-02 (18:12:08 - 18:12:08) |
What are imitation rhinestones? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-11-01 (16:12:00 - 16:12:00) |
Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-31 (20:11:50 - 20:11:50) |
Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the driving...every half mile...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip...I don't remember what it was. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 - 2020-10-30 |
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-28 - 2020-10-30 |
C program run. C program crash. C programmer cry. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-29 (08:11:32 - 08:11:32) |
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-28 (17:11:29 - 17:11:29) |
I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-28 (14:11:41 - 14:11:41) |
If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-15 - 2020-10-27 |
If God dropped acid, would he see people? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-26 (06:11:26 - 06:11:26) |
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-05 - 2020-10-16 |
Cannot join #real_life (invite only) Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-14 - 2020-10-15 |
"The truth shall set you free.." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-14 (17:09:59 - 17:09:59) |
I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-13 - 2020-10-14 |
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-13 (09:09:46 - 21:09:52) |
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-13 (14:09:48 - 14:09:48) |
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds *amazing*. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bo |
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2020-10-01 - 2020-10-13 |
My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 - 2020-10-13 |
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 - 2020-10-12 |
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 (13:09:43 - 13:09:43) |
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-12 (00:09:39 - 00:09:39) |
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-03 - 2020-10-11 |
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-11 (06:09:33 - 06:09:33) |
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-10 (07:09:26 - 07:09:26) |
scripts/TopicFile.txt does not exist Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-08 (16:09:27 - 16:09:27) |
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 (19:09:08 - 19:09:08) |
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 (12:09:21 - 12:09:21) |
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I'm like that all the time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 (10:09:08 - 10:09:08) |
"Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history." -George Bernard Shaw Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-07 (07:09:07 - 07:09:07) |
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." -Winnie the Pooh Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-06 (14:09:05 - 14:09:05) |
1. Out of clutter, find simplicity 2. From discord, find harmony 3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity ,(Three rules of work) -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-06 (06:08:59 - 06:08:59) |
Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind. -Zen saying Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 - 2020-10-05 |
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-05 (11:08:53 - 11:08:53) |
I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store -- "Gimme another ten guppies, I got a lotta calls yesterday." -Steven Wright Little Gh |
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2020-10-05 (01:08:56 - 01:08:56) |
Hey! It compiles! Ship it! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-05 (00:09:07 - 00:09:07) |
I had amnesia once or twice. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 (15:08:48 - 15:08:48) |
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-04 (14:08:49 - 14:08:49) |
Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-10-03 (21:08:47 - 21:08:47) |
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-03 (03:08:42 - 03:08:42) |
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-03 (00:08:40 - 00:08:40) |
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-02 (22:08:39 - 22:08:39) |
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 (23:08:32 - 23:08:32) |
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-10-01 (06:08:43 - 06:08:43) |
"A successful work of art is not one which resolves contradictions in a spurious harmony, but one which expresses the idea of harmony negatively by embodying the contradictions, pure and uncompromised, in its innermost structure." -Theodore Adorno |
|
2020-07-17 - 2020-10-01 |
Welcome to #DxB A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-17 (16:01:33 - 16:01:33) |
Welcome to #DxB I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (15:01:31 - 15:01:31) |
Welcome to #DxB Not for rent. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (14:01:19 - 14:01:19) |
Welcome to #DxB It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (13:01:19 - 13:01:19) |
Welcome to #DxB It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (12:01:17 - 12:01:17) |
Welcome to #DxB I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (11:01:18 - 11:01:18) |
Welcome to #DxB I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, What for? I said, I'm going to buy some sugar. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (10:01:16 - 10:01:16) |
Welcome to #DxB Imagination is more important than knowledge! -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (09:01:19 - 09:01:19) |
Welcome to #DxB Best file compression around: DEL *.* = 100% compression Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (08:01:30 - 08:01:30) |
Welcome to #DxB I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (07:01:15 - 07:01:15) |
Welcome to #DxB I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (06:01:16 - 06:01:16) |
Welcome to #DxB I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (05:01:28 - 05:01:28) |
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (04:01:16 - 04:01:16) |
Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (03:01:17 - 03:01:17) |
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-17 |
shutdown -h now Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-17 (01:01:17 - 01:01:17) |
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-17 |
My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (23:01:29 - 23:01:29) |
A day without sunshine is like night. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 - 2020-07-16 |
kill -9 irc Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 - 2020-07-16 |
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 - 2020-07-16 |
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (19:01:17 - 19:01:17) |
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (18:01:14 - 18:01:14) |
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-16 |
Indecision is the key to flexibility. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (16:01:14 - 16:01:14) |
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-16 |
Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. Wha |
|
2020-07-05 - 2020-07-16 |
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-16 |
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (12:01:13 - 12:01:13) |
When I get bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four and a box of three-by-fives. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (11:01:13 - 11:01:13) |
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (10:01:12 - 10:01:12) |
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (09:01:25 - 09:01:25) |
Anything free is worth what you pay for it. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (08:01:15 - 08:01:15) |
Buy a Pentium II so you can reboot faster. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (07:01:17 - 07:01:17) |
I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (06:01:12 - 06:01:12) |
It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (05:01:10 - 05:01:10) |
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (04:01:12 - 04:01:12) |
"In the fight between you and the world, back the world." -Frank Zappa Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-16 |
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diet. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (02:01:10 - 02:01:10) |
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-16 (01:01:11 - 01:01:11) |
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 - 2020-07-16 |
"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (23:01:10 - 23:01:10) |
What are imitation rhinestones? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-15 |
STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (21:01:10 - 21:01:10) |
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-15 |
It hurts to be on the cutting edge. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (19:01:13 - 19:01:13) |
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-15 |
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (17:01:10 - 17:01:10) |
I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (16:01:23 - 16:01:23) |
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (15:01:10 - 15:01:10) |
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird. -Paul McCartney Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 - 2020-07-15 |
"To thine own self be true." -William Shakespaere Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-15 |
I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (12:01:08 - 12:01:08) |
Music is the art of thinking with sounds. -Jules Combarie Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (11:01:09 - 11:01:09) |
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 - 2020-07-15 |
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (09:01:07 - 09:01:07) |
Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people........ Hmmm wonder who said that.. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (08:01:07 - 08:01:07) |
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (06:01:05 - 06:01:05) |
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-15 |
nice to the nerds and geeks in high school - you'll be working for them in the future Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (04:01:04 - 04:01:04) |
Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (03:01:04 - 03:01:04) |
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-15 (01:01:06 - 01:01:06) |
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-15 |
I plan on living forever. So far, so good. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-14 |
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (22:01:03 - 22:01:03) |
Who's Peer & why did he reset my connection? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (21:01:04 - 21:01:04) |
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 - 2020-07-14 |
I had amnesia once or twice. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-14 |
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 - 2020-07-14 |
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-14 |
My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (16:01:04 - 16:01:04) |
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (15:01:05 - 15:01:05) |
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (14:01:04 - 14:01:04) |
Hit any user to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 - 2020-07-14 |
I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (11:01:02 - 11:01:02) |
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (10:01:01 - 10:01:01) |
In /dev/null no one can hear you scream Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-14 |
Age is important only if you're cheese and wine. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 - 2020-07-14 |
If only women came with pull-down menus and online help. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (07:01:02 - 07:01:02) |
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes". -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (06:01:02 - 06:01:02) |
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (05:01:03 - 05:01:03) |
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 - 2020-07-14 |
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (02:01:00 - 02:01:00) |
1. Out of clutter, find simplicity 2. From discord, find harmony 3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity ,(Three rules of work) -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 - 2020-07-14 |
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-14 (00:01:00 - 00:01:00) |
I can't stop thinking like this. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-13 |
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (22:00:59 - 22:00:59) |
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (21:00:59 - 21:00:59) |
A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (20:00:58 - 20:00:58) |
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (17:00:58 - 18:01:03) |
Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind. -Zen saying Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (16:00:58 - 16:00:58) |
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought." -Bash Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (15:01:06 - 15:01:06) |
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (14:00:58 - 14:00:58) |
"Imagination is more important than knowledge!" -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-13 |
If at first you don't succeed, try management. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 - 2020-07-13 |
"Hold a true friend with both your hands." -Nigerian Proverb Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (10:00:56 - 10:00:56) |
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-13 |
I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store -- "Gimme another ten guppies, I got a lotta calls yesterday." -Steven Wright Little Ghos |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-13 |
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (07:00:56 - 07:00:56) |
The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems we cannot solve at the same level of thinking at which we created them. -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (06:00:56 - 06:00:56) |
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (05:00:55 - 05:00:55) |
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (04:00:54 - 04:00:54) |
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (02:00:57 - 02:00:57) |
E-mail returned to sender: insufficient voltage. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-13 (01:00:55 - 01:00:55) |
If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-13 |
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (23:00:54 - 23:00:54) |
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (11:00:50 - 22:00:53) |
"To ask the hard question is simple. -W. H. Auden Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (21:00:54 - 21:00:54) |
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-12 |
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (19:00:53 - 19:00:53) |
User abort with 5 Ctrl-C's Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (18:00:52 - 18:00:52) |
One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak. -G. K. Chesterton Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (17:00:56 - 17:00:56) |
Is "tired old cliche" one? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (16:00:52 - 16:00:52) |
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (15:00:52 - 15:00:52) |
Linux. The choice of a GNU generation Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (13:00:51 - 13:00:51) |
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-12 |
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (10:00:50 - 10:00:50) |
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (09:00:49 - 09:00:49) |
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (07:00:51 - 07:00:51) |
"Friendship is one mind in two bodies."- Mencius Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (04:00:50 - 04:00:50) |
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-12 (02:00:48 - 02:00:48) |
In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-12 |
"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 - 2020-07-11 |
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-11 |
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-11 |
"I'm not young enough to know everything." -J. M. Barrie Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (19:00:47 - 19:00:47) |
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (18:01:00 - 18:01:00) |
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)...and says, "Here, you can go." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 - 2020-07-11 |
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend." -Albert Camus. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-11 |
"Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history." -George Bernard Shaw Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (15:00:46 - 15:00:46) |
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-11 |
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 - 2020-07-11 |
"Silence is Foo." -Woody Woodpecker Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 - 2020-07-11 |
I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (10:00:46 - 10:00:46) |
Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (09:00:46 - 09:00:46) |
I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (08:00:46 - 08:00:46) |
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (06:00:43 - 06:00:43) |
A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (04:00:55 - 04:00:55) |
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (03:00:45 - 03:00:45) |
Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse. -James Carswell Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-11 |
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (01:00:42 - 01:00:42) |
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-11 (00:00:42 - 00:00:42) |
43% of all statistics are worthless. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 (21:00:41 - 21:00:41) |
One cannot step twice into the same river. -Heraclitus Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 (20:00:43 - 20:00:43) |
I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 (12:00:39 - 13:01:22) |
What's another word for Thesaurus? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 (11:00:41 - 11:00:41) |
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 (10:00:40 - 10:00:40) |
Smoking cures weight problems...eventually... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-10 |
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 (08:00:51 - 08:00:51) |
"I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's. I will not reason and compare; My business is to create." -William Blake Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 - 2020-07-10 |
My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-10 |
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-10 |
If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-10 (02:00:38 - 02:00:38) |
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-10 |
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (22:00:36 - 22:00:36) |
Persistance is the hard work that you do after you are tired of doing the hard work you already did -Newt Gingrich Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (21:00:37 - 21:00:37) |
The obvious is always least understood -Prince Metternich Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (20:00:37 - 20:00:37) |
Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the driving...every half mile...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip...I don't remember what it was. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-09 |
"The truth shall set you free.." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-09 |
Hey! It compiles! Ship it! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (16:00:34 - 16:00:34) |
[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (13:00:33 - 13:00:33) |
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-09 |
USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (09:00:33 - 09:00:33) |
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (07:00:33 - 07:00:33) |
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (06:00:32 - 06:00:32) |
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 - 2020-07-09 |
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-09 (01:00:37 - 01:00:37) |
I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 - 2020-07-09 |
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (19:00:32 - 19:00:32) |
I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (17:00:29 - 17:00:29) |
Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (16:00:30 - 16:00:30) |
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (14:00:28 - 14:00:28) |
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 - 2020-07-08 |
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (11:00:29 - 11:00:29) |
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (09:00:28 - 09:00:28) |
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (08:00:27 - 08:00:27) |
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (07:00:28 - 07:00:28) |
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (05:00:27 - 05:00:27) |
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered with a searching but at the same time steady eye. -Winston Churchill Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (04:00:40 - 04:00:40) |
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-08 (03:00:41 - 03:00:41) |
intellectual: a person who has been educated beyond his/her mental capacity Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (22:00:26 - 22:00:26) |
In the dim background of mind we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start. -William James Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (06:00:22 - 18:00:26) |
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (17:00:27 - 17:00:27) |
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (15:00:26 - 15:00:26) |
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (12:00:24 - 12:00:24) |
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (10:00:26 - 10:00:26) |
All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (09:00:24 - 09:00:24) |
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (08:00:22 - 08:00:22) |
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (07:00:22 - 07:00:22) |
I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (05:00:23 - 05:00:23) |
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (03:00:26 - 03:00:26) |
I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 - 2020-07-07 |
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-07 (01:00:24 - 01:00:24) |
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds *amazing*. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
|
2020-07-06 (22:00:33 - 22:00:33) |
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (20:00:21 - 20:00:21) |
To be a man of knowledge one needs to be light and fluid -Yaqui Mystic Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (18:00:32 - 18:00:32) |
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (17:00:20 - 17:00:20) |
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (16:00:20 - 16:00:20) |
Even snakes are afraid of snakes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (13:00:19 - 13:00:19) |
I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl. She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on." I said, "Yeah, I know, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (09:00:18 - 09:00:18) |
If God dropped acid, would he see people? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (08:00:17 - 08:00:17) |
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it...it feels real." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (07:00:18 - 07:00:18) |
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (06:00:22 - 06:00:22) |
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 - 2020-07-06 |
I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars". -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-06 (04:00:18 - 04:00:18) |
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 (22:00:16 - 22:00:16) |
The map is not the territory -Alfred Korzbyski Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 (20:00:16 - 20:00:16) |
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it it. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 (18:00:15 - 18:00:15) |
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 (16:00:14 - 16:00:14) |
An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. -Dr. Edwin Land Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 (15:00:27 - 15:00:27) |
A wise man learns more from his enemies than a fool does from his friends Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-05 (13:00:26 - 13:00:26) |
Cannot join #real_life (invite only) Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-04 - 2020-07-05 |
Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-04 (19:00:23 - 20:00:11) |
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-04 (18:00:11 - 18:00:11) |
WOMEN.ZIP: A great program, but it doesn't come with documentation... Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-04 (17:00:11 - 17:00:11) |
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-04 (16:00:11 - 16:00:11) |
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-04 (15:00:10 - 15:00:10) |
The sky already fell. Now what? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-01 - 2020-07-04 |
The King left us |
|
2020-07-04 (13:00:09 - 13:00:09) |
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
|
2020-07-04 (12:00:10 - 12:00:10) |
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (07:00:06 - 11:00:08) |
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (10:00:09 - 10:00:09) |
If God had intended Man to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (09:00:08 - 09:00:08) |
"#define QUESTION ((bb) !(bb)) - Shakespeare." Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (08:00:09 - 08:00:09) |
[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody! -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (06:00:07 - 06:00:07) |
I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (05:00:11 - 05:00:11) |
"I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere." -Anon Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (04:00:06 - 04:00:06) |
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (03:00:06 - 03:00:06) |
"Friendship is one mind in two bodies."- Mencius Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (02:00:08 - 02:00:08) |
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (01:00:07 - 01:00:07) |
He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-04 (00:00:05 - 00:00:05) |
Even snakes are afraid of snakes. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (23:00:06 - 23:00:06) |
I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car. The other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (22:00:07 - 22:00:07) |
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (21:00:06 - 21:00:06) |
The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (20:00:05 - 20:00:05) |
The beatings will continue until morale improves. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (19:00:06 - 19:00:06) |
Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (18:00:06 - 18:00:06) |
If at first you don't succeed, try management. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (17:00:17 - 17:00:17) |
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (16:00:05 - 16:00:05) |
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (15:00:03 - 15:00:03) |
Avoid the Fortran arithmetic IF (or better yet, just avoid Fortran). Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (13:00:03 - 13:00:03) |
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds *amazing*. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-07-03 (12:00:05 - 12:00:05) |
Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day. Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (11:00:16 - 11:00:16) |
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer? Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (09:00:05 - 09:00:05) |
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (08:00:04 - 08:00:04) |
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. -Albert Einstein Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (07:00:04 - 07:00:04) |
"Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people" -Mark Twain Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (06:00:05 - 06:00:05) |
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (05:00:03 - 05:00:03) |
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (04:00:03 - 04:00:03) |
Write as if you are dying -Annie Dillard Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (03:00:02 - 03:00:02) |
Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't, you're absolutely right. -Henry Ford Little Ghost Bot By LGN |
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2020-07-03 (02:00:02 - 02:00:02) |
Hit any user to continue. Little Ghost ZNC By LGN |
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2020-06-26 - 2020-07-01 |
ææææææææææOn this special day, I raise a toast to you and your life. Happy birthday MirJam ææææææææææ |
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2020-06-27 - 2020-06-28 |
Random quotes can be most effecatious |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-10 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #DxB Genius, in truth, means little more than the faculty of perceiving in an unhabitual way. -William James |
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2020-06-07 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #DxB One cannot step twice into the same river. -Heraclitus |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb "...we are free at last!" -Martin Luther King Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-24 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #DxB It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-01 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-04 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb Write as if you are dying -Annie Dillard Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-03 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-04 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb I invented the cordless extension cord. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-27 |
Welcome to #dxb "Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff." -Frank Zappa Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-01 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-06 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-31 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb One cannot step twice into the same river. -Heraclitus Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #DxB In the dim background of mind we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start. -William James |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #DxB Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso |
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2019-10-31 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice... Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-03 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes... -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb "To thine own self be true." -William Shakespaere Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-02 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn. -Ralph Waldo Emerson Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #dxb "I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere." -Anon Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-11 - 2020-06-26 |
Welcome to #DxB I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's. I will not reason and compare; My business is to create. -William Blake |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #dxb Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-01 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #dxb The only joy in the world is to begin. -Cesare Pavese Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #dxb There are three ways to get things done! 1) do it yourself 2) employ someone else 3) forbid your children to do it... Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-19 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #DxB I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-03 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #dxb I do not seek. I find. -Pablo Picasso Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-03 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #dxb My neighbor has a circular driveway...he can't get out. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-10 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #DxB When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about. ― Rumi |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #dxb I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-09 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #DxB You cannot mandate productivity, you must provide the tools to let people become their best. -Steve Jobs |
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2020-06-08 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #DxB The wound is the place where the Light enters you. ― Rumi |
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2019-11-12 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #DxB The more you think, the more time you have. -Henry Ford Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-18 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #DXB To ask the hard question is simple. -W. H. Auden |
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2020-06-09 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #DxB Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced. -Ned Rorem |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-25 |
Welcome to #dxb INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #dxb TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DxB I'm not young enough to know everything. -J. M. Barrie |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #dxb COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DxB 1. Out of clutter, find simplicity 2. From discord, find harmony 3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity ,(Three rules of work) -Albert Einstein |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DxB Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ― Rumi |
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2019-11-13 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DxB TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-17 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DXB What you seek is seeking you. ― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi |
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2019-10-31 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #dxb Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind. -Zen saying Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-07 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DxB Music is the art of thinking with sounds. -Jules Combarie |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #dxb To be a man of knowledge one needs to be light and fluid -Yaqui Mystic Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-05 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DxB If you are irritated by every rub, how will your mirror be polished? ― Rumi |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #dxb What is originality? Undetected plagiarism. -Dean William R. Inge Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-05 - 2020-06-24 |
Welcome to #DxB It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end -Ursula K. Le Guin |
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2019-11-02 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #dxb The obvious is always least understood -Prince Metternich Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-08 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #DxB An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it. -Anon |
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2019-11-01 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #dxb STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #dxb If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. -Isaac Newton Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-31 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #dxb Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-15 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #DxB Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought. -Bash |
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2020-06-08 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #DxB When the way comes to an end, then change - having changed, you pass through. -I Ching |
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2020-06-07 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #DxB You lose it if you talk about it. -Ernest Hemingway |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #dxb You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-03 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #dxb CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-05 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #dxb I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #DxB One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak. -G. K. Chesterton |
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2020-06-11 - 2020-06-23 |
Welcome to #DxB To live is to have problems and to solve problems is to grow intellectually -J. P. Guilford |
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2020-06-11 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #DxB If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. -William Blake |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #dxb I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #DxB Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse. -James Carswell |
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2020-06-07 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #DxB If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. -Isaac Newton |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #dxb My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #dxb What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-10 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #DxB Life is:'trying things to see if they work' -Ray Bradbury |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #dxb Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #dxb The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-11 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #DxB What you can do,or dream you can, begin it; boldness has genius, power and magic in it. -Goethe |
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2019-11-01 - 2020-06-22 |
Welcome to #dxb Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced. -Ned Rorem Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-31 - 2020-06-21 |
Welcome to #dxb Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-21 |
Welcome to #dxb 43% of all statistics are worthless. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-02 - 2020-06-21 |
Welcome to #dxb An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. -Dr. Edwin Land Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-20 |
Welcome to #dxb "The truth shall set you free.." Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-20 |
Welcome to #dxb Random quotes can be most effecatious." -Anon Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-07 - 2020-06-20 |
Welcome to #DxB Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion. ― Rumi |
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2020-06-15 - 2020-06-20 |
Welcome to #DxB Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind. -Zen saying |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-20 |
Welcome to #dxb Age is important only if you're cheese and wine. Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-19 |
Welcome to #DxB Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form. ― Rumi |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-19 |
Welcome to #dxb If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-19 |
Welcome to #dxb If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them? Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-06 - 2020-06-19 |
Welcome to #DxB A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free. -Nikos Kazantzakis |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-18 |
Welcome to #dxb CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-18 |
Welcome to #dxb You lose it if you talk about it. -Ernest Hemingway Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-10 - 2020-06-18 |
Welcome to #DxB The only joy in the world is to begin. -Cesare Pavese |
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2019-11-06 - 2020-06-18 |
Welcome to #dxb I had my coathangers spayed. -Steven WrightLittle Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-09 - 2020-06-17 |
Welcome to #DxB No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered with a searching but at the same time steady eye. -Winston Churchill |
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2019-11-01 - 2020-06-16 |
Welcome to #dxb 7/5th of all people do not understand fractions. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-16 |
Welcome to #dxb The mind, like a parachute, works best when it's open... Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-15 |
Welcome to #dxb EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-17 - 2020-06-15 |
Welcome to #DxB Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-14 |
Welcome to #dxb Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-13 |
Welcome to #dxb DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-31 - 2020-06-13 |
Welcome to #dxb Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-12 |
Welcome to #dxb GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-04 - 2020-06-11 |
Welcome to #dxb If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-28 - 2020-06-10 |
Welcome to #dxb MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-10-30 - 2020-06-10 |
Welcome to #dxb RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-04 - 2020-06-09 |
Welcome to #dxb Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. -Steven Wright Little Ghost Bot |
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2019-11-26 - 2020-06-07 |
Welcome to #DxB What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care. Little Ghost Bot |
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2020-06-05 (12:57:24 - 12:57:24) |
Welcome to #DxB A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. -Frank Capra |
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2019-10-29 - 2020-06-05 |
Welcome to #dxb Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself. -Chinese Proverb Little Ghost Bot |
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2014-12-24 - 2019-09-21 |
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2019-05-04 - 2019-07-10 |
* ๑۩۞۩๑ ωєℓ¢σмє тσ DALnet's #dxb ๑۩۞۩๑ * |
|
2016-10-30 - 2019-05-04 |
''Welcome All To Official Channel Of Dubai #DXB [Language: English & Arabic ONLY] This channel is rated -PG- which it means that this is a family channel,Tune your behaviour thereafter |
|
2015-12-03 - 2016-10-30 |
''Welcome To Official Channel Of Dubai #DXB [Language: English & Arabic ONLY] This channel is rated -PG- which it means that this is a family channel,Tune your behaviour thereafter |
|
2015-11-11 - 2015-12-03 |
''Welcome To Official Channel Of Dubai #DXB [Language: English & Arabic ONLY] This channel is rated -PG- which it means that this is a family channel, tune your behaviour thereafter |
|
2015-11-11 (09:08:20 - 15:08:24) |
"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." |
|
2015-11-11 (05:08:18 - 08:08:20) |
Excellence is not a skill, it's an attitude. Use English Only if not then you got kick from Ebless Bot welcome to channel web http://al3agrb.webs.com |
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2015-11-08 - 2015-11-11 |
Excellence is not a skill, it's an attitude. Use English Only if not then you got kick from Ebless Bot |
|
2015-11-06 - 2015-11-08 |
Excellence is not a skill, it's an attitude. |
|
2015-11-05 - 2015-11-06 |
[ Channel Rules #DXB ] : No Religious Talks Allowed on main, No Bad Words, No ADULT talk on main, No Advertising, No Inviting, If You Dont Like Someone Dont Fight Just /Ignore nickname. Thanks! http://AL3AGRB.webs.com |
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2015-11-04 - 2015-11-05 |
"���"���"���"���"��� [ WELCOME TO OFFICIAL CHANNEL OF DUBAI #DXB ] ?�?�?�?�?�?�', Channels Roles Please and Respect each other. looking for old Scripts join http://AL3AGRB.WEBS.COM' "���"���"���"��� |
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2015-11-03 - 2015-11-04 |
wa'ææææææ WELCOME TO OFFICIAL CHANNEL OF DUBAI #DXB Mariaaa Princesaa ] ææææææ', Channels Roles Please and Respect each other. looking for old Scripts join http://AL3AGRB.WEBS.COM |
|
2015-11-02 - 2015-11-03 |
'ææææææ WELCOME TO OFFICIAL CHANNEL OF DUBAI #DXB Mariaaa Princesaa ] ææææææ', Channels Roles Please and Respect each other. looking for old Scripts join http://AL3AGRB.WEBS.COM |
|
2015-10-31 - 2015-11-02 |
'ææææææ WELCOME TO OFFICIAL CHANNEL OF DUBAI #DXB Mariaaa Princesaa ] ææææææ', looking for old join http://AL3AGRB.WEBS.COM |
|
2015-10-25 - 2015-10-31 |
'ææææææ WELCOME TO OFFICIAL CHANNEL #DXB Mariaaa Princesaa ] ææææææ', looking for old join http://AL3AGRB.WEBS.COM |
|
2015-10-21 - 2015-10-25 |
'ææææææ WELCOME CASTEL #DXB Mariaaa Princesaa originalee her frendz prince and princess] ææææææ', looking for old join http://AL3AGRB.WEBS.COM |
|
2015-10-19 - 2015-10-21 |
welcome DXB precious channel, looking for old join http://AL3AGRB.WEBS.COM |
|
2015-10-19 (12:43:44 - 12:43:44) |
welcome DXB precious channel |
|
2015-10-01 - 2015-10-14 |
Welcome All To #DXB to lice Koos you have Tomos :P have nice chat |
|
2015-10-01 (15:19:47 - 15:19:47) |
Welcome All To #DXB have nice chat |
|
2014-12-30 - 2015-02-20 |
"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." - Benjamin Franklin |